Paramount Pictures via Everett Collection
Will Ferrell will put on the dunce cap once again. According to Deadline, TriStar has purchased The Yank, in which he'll play a mild-mannered insurance courier who finds himself in the middle of a heist to steal the crown jewels. Since the large majority of us don't stumble our way into the middle of gigantic, illicit conspiracies, it's safe to say that Ferrell's latest character won't be the brightest bulb in the box. In fact, Ferrell has made a career of playing dim-witted dunderheads. Even his ostensibly smart characters are clearly lacking a couple thousand brain cells. But which is the dumbest dope that Ferrell has ever played? We've decided to rank all of Ferrell's idiots in ascending order of stupidity.
Megamind (Megamind) Megamind is actually a genius, albeit an evil one, so he gets the top spot. However, he is a dope when he comes to relationships.
Harold Crick (Stranger Than Fiction)Sacrificing your life in the name of great art is quite an academic pursuit, so cheers.
Det. Allen Gamble (The Other Guys) Under a slightly frumpy and dopey exterior is actually the mind of a pretty gifted detective. In any case, you have to be doing something smart to attract Eva Mendez.
Buddy (Elf) Buddy isn't stupid as he is just lost in a world that isn't constantly running in full-on Christmas mode. The North Pole is a long sleigh ride away from Manhattan.
Chazz Michael Michaels (Blades of Glory)It does take some smarts to weasel your way back into a sport you were banned from. Too bad the tapes of him figure skating with Jon Heder will exist on the internet forever. That's quite the oversight.
Dr. Rick Marshall (Land of the Lost)Marshall is actually a gifted scientist, but for all of his fancy book learning, he does lack an incredible amount of common sense.
Phil Weston (Kicking and Screaming)Getting that wrapped up in pee-wee soccer, the least worthy pee-wee sport there is, is almost criminally stupid.
Cam Brady (The Campaign) Cam Brady nearly makes real politicians seem smart...nearly.
Jackie Moon (Semi-Pro)In Jackie Moon's world, wrestling a bear is a good way of promoting your failing basketball franchise.
Mustafa (Austin Powers) He's quite the survivor ("I've been very badly burned"), but if you can only take three questions before spilling clandestine info, then you're the worst henchman possible.
Ricky Bobby (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby)Sweet baby Jesus is Ricky Bobby dumb. He's the epitome of every Nascar stereotype every conceived.
Steve Butabi (A Night at the Roxbury) These club-addicted idiots have nothing rattling around their heads beyond velour suits and Haddaway's "What is Love."
Brennan Huff (Step Brothers)Brennan is probably the biggest and most spoiled man-child ever produced by the Ferrell and McKay tag team.
Ron Burgundy (Anchorman)Ron is pretty close to the top. Fortunately enough for him, though, the rest of the world surrounding him is nearly as stupid as he is.
Frank "The Tank" Rickard (Old School)Frank the Tank is definitively the stupidest person Will Ferrell has ever played. He somehow manages to shoot himself with a rhino tranquilizer just in time to ruin a kid's birthday party.
A man who fled the U.K. after he was charged with stabbing a fan at a Swedish House Mafia gig in Milton Keynes, England in 2012 has been found dead in Spain. Francis Brennan, 25, left the country ahead of sentencing in October (13).
He was arrested with two associates, who were charged with wounding and possession of a knife following an altercation at Swedish House Mafia's MK Bowl gig in July, 2012, which left three people injured, one with a punctured lung.
Reports suggest Brennan may have been kidnapped by men posing as police officers in January (14).
His body was found on a beach in the La Zenia area of Alicante on Saturday (05Apr14).
There are some days when all you need a movie to be is light and cheerful, but then there are others when all you want to do is wallow in sadness for a little while and have a good cry. For times like those, you need a film that will rip your heart out. Our Netflix Hand-Picked Flix recommendation for this week's Bluesday Tuesday pick, The Fall, will do just that, and then probably stomp on it a few times for good measure.
After a string of young, professional women are murdered in Belfast, Ireland, investigator Stella Gibson (Gillian Anderson) is brought in to find a break in the case, and she immediately begins putting together connections that the authorities have overlooked. But the show doesn't just follow the case from Stella's point of view; it also spends just as much time with the killer, Paul Spector (Jamie Dornan), a family man whose wife and two children have no idea about his deadly hobby. The Fall jumps back and forth between these two perspectives, demonstrating how the police slowly unwind the case while Paul attempts to remain ahead of them at all times.
Everything about the series unfolds slowly, ramping up the tension by degrees over long periods of time, rather than forcing characters to stumble over plot points just for the sake of excitement. The Fall places its focus on the bleak, gruesome nature of the murders, and doesn't undercut the graphic violence with campness or humor. Anderson's Stella is cold and reserved, which many viewers have found frustrating, and she's just as much of an enigma to the audience as she is to her colleagues, which the show uses to its advantage. And as creepy as it is to watch Dornan stalk and hunt the women that he preys on, the show never glamorizes or forgives his actions. His family humanizes him, but it doesn't excuse him. The world of The Fall is a dark, depressingly scary place, but with such incredible acting and clever plotting, it's almost a treat to spend time there.
The Fall is available to stream instantly on Netflix, and make sure to check back tomorrow for our recommendations for the perfect Docu-Wednesday film.
For the bulk of every Rocky and Bullwinkle episode, moose and squirrel would engage in high concept escapades that satirized geopolitics, contemporary cinema, and the very fabrics of the human condition. With all of that to work with, there's no excuse for why the pair and their Soviet nemeses haven't gotten a decent movie adaptation. But the ingenious Mr. Peabody and his faithful boy Sherman are another story, intercut between Rocky and Bullwinkle segments to teach kids brief history lessons and toss in a nearly lethal dose of puns. Their stories and relationship were much simpler, which means that bringing their shtick to the big screen would entail a lot more invention — always risky when you're dealing with precious material.
For the most part, Mr. Peabody & Sherman handles the regeneration of its heroes aptly, allowing for emotionally substance in their unique father-son relationship and all the difficulties inherent therein. The story is no subtle metaphor for the difficulties surrounding gay adoption, with society decreeing that a dog, no matter how hyper-intelligent, cannot be a suitable father. The central plot has Peabody hosting a party for a disapproving child services agent and the parents of a young girl with whom 7-year-old Sherman had a schoolyard spat, all in order to prove himself a suitable dad. Of course, the WABAC comes into play when the tots take it for a spin, forcing Peabody to rush to their rescue.
Getting down to personals, we also see the left brain-heavy Peabody struggle with being father Sherman deserves. The bulk of the emotional marks are hit as we learn just how much Peabody cares for Sherman, and just how hard it has been to accept that his only family is growing up and changing.
But more successful than the new is the film's handling of the old — the material that Peabody and Sherman purists will adore. They travel back in time via the WABAC Machine to Ancient Egypt, the Renaissance, and the Trojan War, and 18th Century France, explaining the cultural backdrop and historical significance of the settings and characters they happen upon, all with that irreverent (but no longer racist) flare that the old cartoons enjoyed. And oh... the puns.
Mr. Peabody & Sherman is a f**king treasure trove of some of the most amazingly bad puns in recent cinema. This effort alone will leave you in awe.
The film does unravel in its final act, bringing the science-fiction of time travel a little too close to the forefront and dropping the ball on a good deal of its emotional groundwork. What seemed to be substantial building blocks do not pay off in the way we might, as scholars of animated family cinema, have anticipated, leaving the movie with an unfinished feeling.
But all in all, it's a bright, compassionate, reasonably educational, and occasionally funny if not altogether worthy tribute to an old favorite. And since we don't have our own WABAC machine to return to a time of regularly scheduled Peabody and Sherman cartoons, this will do okay for now.
If nothing else, it's worth your time for the puns.
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During this time of year, guys everywhere start putting on their thinking caps to come up with romantic ideas to impress a woman, whether it's someone that he's just met or the person he's been married to for 20 years.
While many men struggle with the intricacies of romance, the dudes of television have a whole team of writers helping them figure things out. Thanks to those scribes, a little television watching can provide a steady stream of lessons that will help even the most clueless guy navigate the wild waters that Nathan Fillion's Rick Castle and John Krasinski's Jim Halpert have already traversed.
Let Your Partners Be Themselves (and Make a Big Deal of Their Birthdays)When your significant other is the person that the term "adorkable" was coined for, a certain amount of quirkiness is to be expected… but even if you're not dating Jess from New Girl, you have to let your lover be her or himself. Jake Johnson's Nick has grown to love Zooey Deschanel's alter ego because of her individuality. Even when he doesn’t understand what's going on entirely, he tries. After learning that Jess has always been disappointed by her big birthday expectations, Nick didn't just plan a surprise party… he rented a theater and made a movie to honor his girl. Sometimes you have to go big or go home.
Be Patient and Maybe Eventually Your Partner Will Do SomethingAfter Castle bided his time for four seasons, it was finally Beckett (Stana Katic) that made the move after she had a near death experience. Television history is littered with similar examples. Most of our favorite TV fellows have difficulty reading romantic signals — when in doubt, stand there and look stupid long enough and sooner or later they'll tell you what to do (or just do it themselves).
Don't Let Your Partner's Intellectual Superiority Intimidate YouOn Bones, David Boreanaz's Special Agent Booth is a highly accomplished FBI operative. He's a man's man and quite good looking to boot. Even with all of that, however, there's no getting around the fact that he's in love with someone who is smarter than he is. Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan (Emily Deschanel) is too brilliant for anyone to compete with… so Booth doesn't try. He appreciates the fact that Bones is intelligent. Instead of trying to match intellects or stressing out about it, he just tries to get her to like pie. Lesson? Pick battles you might have a chance to win.
Bring Your Partner Coffee (or Some Sort of Beverage)Castle always brings Beckett coffee in the morning. Sometimes he makes her coffee. They rarely show Beckett actually drinking the coffee. For all we know she prefers tea, but Castle brings her coffee every day because it makes her smile. If you find something that makes your partner smile every day, then you keep doing it.
"You Know Nothing" Can Still Mean "I Like You"Everyone knows that adolescents sometimes act poorly towards each other in order to mask other feelings. On Game of Thrones, Rose Leslie's Ygritte's catch phrase is "You know nothing, Jon Snow." Of course, then she saved his life and seduced him. So, even in adulthood, if someone is tormenting and mocking you, it doesn't mean that she or he doesn't dig you.
Summit via Everett Collection
You can imagine that Renny Harlin, director and one quadrant of the writing team for The Legend of Hercules, began his pitch as such: We'll start with a war, because lots of these things start with wars. It feels like this was the principal maxim behind a good deal of the creative choices in this latest update of the Ancient Greek myth. There are always horse riding scenes. There are generally arena battles. There are CGI lions, when you can afford 'em. Oh, and you've got to have a romantic couple canoodling at the base of a waterfall. Weaving them all together cohesively would be a waste of time — just let the common threads take form in a remarkably shouldered Kellan Lutz and action sequences that transubstantiate abjectly to and fro slow-motion.
But pervading through Lutz's shirtless smirks and accent continuity that calls envy from Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland performance is the obtrusive lack of thought that went into this picture. A proverbial grab bag of "the basics" of the classic epic genre, The Legend of Hercules boasts familiarity over originality. So much so that the filmmakers didn't stop at Hercules mythology... they barely started with it, in fact. There's more Jesus Christ in the character than there is the Ancient Greek demigod, with no lack of Gladiator to keep things moreover relevant. But even more outrageous than the void of imagination in the construct of Hercules' world is its script — a piece so comically dim, thin, and idiotic that you will laugh. So we can't exactly say this is a totally joyless time at the movies.
Summit via Everett Collection
Surrounding Hercules, a character whose arc takes him from being a nice enough strong dude to a nice enough strong dude who kills people and finally owns up to his fate — "Okay, fine, yes, I guess I'm a god" — are a legion of characters whose makeup and motivations are instituted in their opening scenes and never change thereafter. His de facto stepdad, the teeth-baring King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins), despises the boy for being a living tribute to his supernatural cuckolding; his half-brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan) is the archetypical scheming, neutered, jealous brother figure right down to the facial scar. The dialogue this family of mongoloids tosses around is stunningly brainless, ditto their character beats. Hercules can't understand how a mystical stranger knows his identity, even though he just moments ago exited a packed coliseum chanting his name. Iphicles defies villainy and menace when he threatens his betrothed Hebe (Gaia Weiss), long in love with Hercules, with the terrible fate of "accepting [him] and loving [their] children equally!" And the dad... jeez, that guy must really be proud of his teeth.
With no artistic feat successfully accomplished (or even braved, really) by this movie, we can at the very least call it inoffensive. There is nothing in The Legend of Hercules with which to take issue beyond its dismal intellect, and in a genre especially prone to regressive activity, this is a noteworthy triumph. But you might not have enough energy by the end to award The Legend of Hercules with this superlative. Either because you'll have laughed yourself into a coma at the film's idiocy, or because you'll have lost all strength trying to fend it off.
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Sony Pictures/Columbia/Tristar Sony Pictures Entertainment
The holiday season is officially in swing and there’s plenty to celebrate: family, faith, and the coming of Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues. But how in the world are you going to prepare for the epic-ness that this movie will surely bring? Everyone you could ever want to see on the big screen is in this movie: Kanye West, Drake, Paul Rudd, Kirsten Dunst, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jennifer Lawrence, Steve Carrell, Meagan Good, Tina Fey...literally Everyone. But the truth is, we’re all going to show up for one guy in particular. Will Ferrell has been bringing us laughs for decades now, and the only way to get ready for more laughs is to look back at some of his most epic movie scenes. Everybody get ready, we’re going streaking!!!
Zoolander, The Piano Key Necktie
This is either a clip from Zoolander, or an excerpt from a recent Kanye West interview. One or the other.
Semi-Pro, Love Me Sexy
Jackie Moon had a lot of epic moments in Semi-Pro. Yes, the bear fight was amazing. But this moment was just a bit... sexier. Sort of.
Superstar, The Coming of Christ
Will Ferrell as Molly Shannon/Mary Catherine Gallagher’s subconscious idea of God is everything.
Old School, We Are So Going Streaking
You know you're a Will Ferrell fan when you've seen his arse so many times you could pick it out of a lineup. Oh yeah.
Elf, The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Will Ferrell, expressing our exact feelings around Christmastime: “SANTAAA! OH MY GOD!”
Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy, Kind Of A Big Deal
I don't know what you've contributed to the culture but 'kind of a big deal' is a phrase that has defined a generation. And for that, we thank you Will Ferrell.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Baby Jesus Wins
Ricky Bobby taught us about friendship and love, and he taught us how to shake and bake. But most importantly, he taught us to respect differences in faith. It doesn't matter which Jesus you pray to-- baby Jesus or ninja Jesus-- as long as you make grace your bitch.
Wedding Crashers, Funeral Crasher
The legendary Chazz Reinhold switched things up for everyone when he revealed that wedding crashing was out and funeral crashing was in. Because "grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac." True story.
Step Brothers, Meet Pan
In the most awkward interview ever, our beloved Brennan and Dale butt heads with the human resources lady. If she had just shushed up, everything would have been just fine.
Wait, how can we really pick just one Step Brothers scene?! Especially when Will Ferrell has the voice of an angel... or of Jesus and Fergie. Enjoy this bonus clip:
The Campaign, Faith And Snakes Don't Mix
Hide your wife, hide your kids. It’s about to get NSFW up in this sanctuary.
Alec Baldwin turned to police for help after becoming "alarmed" by the actions of an alleged stalker, who was arrested twice last year (12), a court has heard. Canadian actress Genevieve Sabourin, 40, is facing trial in New York next week (beg11Nov13), amid accusations she bombarded the former 30 Rock star with emails, and made unwelcome visits to his Manhattan home after they enjoyed dinner together in 2010.
Baldwin insisted his initial meetings with Sabourin were purely business, but the actress, who violated a restraining order against her last autumn (Nov12), claims otherwise.
Pre-trial hearings began in Manhattan Criminal Court this week (begs04Nov13), and on Thursday (07Nov13), officials heard testimony from Detective Francis Brennan, who revealed Baldwin was even forced to get rid of his old cell phone in an effort to stop Sabourin from contacting him.
Brennan said, "(Baldwin had) been alarmed since she's been showing up at functions unannounced and he was in fear for his safety... He said he received hundreds of text messages on his phone and he was receiving emails from her basically telling him to leave his wife and to live with her. He got rid of his phone - the phone she kept calling."
Sabourin, who has protested her innocence, rejected a plea deal which would have kept her out of jail in April (13), and she now faces up to 90 days behind bars if convicted.
Baldwin and his wife, new mum Hilaria, are both expected to testify at the trial next week.
Harry Potter star Evanna Lynch is to play illusionist Harry Houdini's wife in a new Dublin, Ireland play. The actress, who played Luna Lovegood in the Potter movie franchise, will team up with British actors Jamie Nichols and Stuart Brennan onstage at the Gaiety Theatre next month (Oct13).
The 22 year old tells the Irish Independent that it will be a "strange" making her stage debut at a theatre she has always loved.
She says, "Theatre was always something that's been in the back of my mind and my parents were really keen for me to do it; so the little girl in me just wants to make them happy. I've been to the Gaiety plenty of times, since I was five years of age, so it will be a bit strange to be up there, on the other side of things, actually on stage. But I'm looking forward to it and it's definitely something I'd like to do more of."
"Just read Cory Monteith memorial episode. Most beautiful thing. Thank you, (Glee Co-creators) Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Ian Brennan." Glee star Jane Lynch is moved after reading the script for an upcoming tribute episode for tragic castmember Cory Monteith.