Each week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week ending Nov. 17 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we'll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week's issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that'll put hair on your chest. Here are the week's entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.
Take the Edge Off with Belgian Brew
Game of Thrones, We Love You, But You Have Got To Be Kidding Us With This Poster
It’s just numbers, yet we’re still oddly excited.
Taylor Swift Let Us Down
Girl, are you serious? Swift’s got a brain and an industrious way of life. She’s all about being successful, powerful young woman. Why then, is she talking like she’s a 1950s housewife?
Is This An Episode of Don’t Trust the B or An Ad for People Mag?
Yes, it was innovative marketing, but we just wanted to watch our favorite b**chy show!
Let Loose With Some Mulled Wine
Guy Fieri Was Kind of Right. Kind Of
We wanted to believe the New York Times' riotous review of Fieri’s Times Square restaurant. Unfortunately, we tried it, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as said.
Someone Doesn’t Like Paul Rudd
I know. That’s not humanly possible. But how else are we supposed to interpret this vomit-incident during his Broadway play?
The Cast of Twilight Should Probably Be in Jail
Look, we’re glad Jackson Rathbone’s chiseled features aren’t wasting away in an orange jumpsuit in San Quentin, but the folks in this movie are lawbreakers. Then again, that probably just makes them sexier, doesn’t it?
Stelena Is No Nore!
But wait, wallowing Vampire Diaries fans! There’s a silver lining: This means it’s time for Damon to get his smoldering due praise!
Let’s Forget This Ever Happened With a Little (Make that a Lot of) Cognac
No One Will Tell Donald Trump “You’re Fired”
Despite using his Twitter and his fondness for shoddy web videos to enrage most of the entertainment-loving world, that same world won’t give Trump the boot from any of his Tinsel Town endeavors. Perhaps it’s just too much fun to talk about?
Nine Minutes of Star Trek 2 Will Play Before The Hobbit
Which is bad because it only serves to drive our anticipation even higher with its inability to be the full length film for which we’ve been waiting three excruciating years.
Ryan Gosling Missed His Sexiest Man Alive Chance, And It May Never Come Again
Channing Tatum took the title this year, and as much as I’d be willing to let the Baby Goose eat tiny kernels of corn out of my hand for days on end if he wanted to, there’s no denying that Tatum was a shoe-in for 2012.
NO MORE TWINKIES.
EVER. Not that you’ve eaten one since your last elementary school slumber party, but wouldn’t you like the chance to relive the heartburn again someday? That artery-clogging ship has sailed, my friends.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: PR Newswire/AP Photo]
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You know those actors whose faces get your inner IMDB churning? The ones you see and immediately think, "That guy has been in so many movies, but why can't I remember which ones? Quick, I must wrack my brain before any one else can!" Mads Mikkelsen is one of those faces and lucky for you, it will soon be fairly easy to play the "What Do I Know Him From?" game because, in addition to reportedly being the next Thor 2 villain, he just landed the lead role in NBC's Hannibal series, which follows the legendary killer Hannibal Lecter and also stars Hugh Dancy.
Now, we could give you a completely normal, non cinematic representation of Mikkelson, but we've found a few choice shots that might jog your memory and help us assess Mikkelson's aptitude for handling such a well-known psychopath. Does he have what it takes to make Sir Anthony Hopkins proud?
Clash of the Titans: Draco
We've clearly seen Mikkelson tackle the role of a warrior as Draco, so he's got the killing part down. Okay, so Draco also happens to be on the side of "Good," but you certainly don't go from zero to serial killer in a matter of seconds.
Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky: Igor Stravinsky
Let us not forget that Hannibal isn't just a killer, he's a killer with impeccable taste. Chianti, anyone? Perhaps Mikkelsen could pull his classier side from his experience playing the famed composer and Coco Chanel's rumored philandering lover.
The Three Musketeers: Rochefort
He's so evil in this imaginative retelling of Alexandre Dumas' classic tale (just check out that eye patch) that he's viciously going after a teenage boy on a precarious rooftop by the end of the film. Now that is heartless. We're getting warmer.
Casino Royale: Le Chiffre
Here we have what most people would call the "ah-ha" moment. You likely know Mikkelson best as the Daniel Craig-era James Bond's first major adversary. He's a skilled poker player, he's a torturesmith (let's not forget Craig, naked in that bottomless chair), and for his sinister villainous trait: He cries tears of blood. It would seem that NBC's casting department is really onto something with this one.
More: NBC Upfronts: Go Funny or Go Home Hollywood.com's Best of the 2012 TV Upfronts
Mads Mikkelson as Hannibal
Theatrics slapstick and cheer are cinematic qualities you rarely find outside the realm of animation. Disney perfected it with their pantheon of cartoon classics mixing music humor spectacle and light-hearted drama that swept up children while still capturing the imaginations and hearts of their parents. But these days even reinterpretations of fairy tales get the gritty make-over leaving little room for silliness and unfiltered glee. Emerging through that dark cloud is Mirror Mirror a film that achieves every bit of imagination crafted by its two-dimensional predecessors and then some. Under the eye of master visualist Tarsem Singh (The Fall Immortals) Mirror Mirror's heightened realism imbues it with the power to pull off anything — and the movie never skimps on the anything.
Like its animated counterparts Mirror Mirror stays faithful to its source material but twists it just enough to feel unique. When Snow White (Lily Collins) was a little girl her father the King ventured into a nearby dark forest to do battle with an evil creature and was never seen or heard from again. The kingdom was inherited by The Queen (Julia Roberts) Snow's evil stepmother and the fair-skinned beauty lived locked up in the castle until her 18th birthday. Grown up and tired of her wicked parental substitute White sneaks out of the castle to the village for the first time. There she witnesses the economic horrors The Queen has imposed upon the people of her land all to fuel her expensive beautification. Along the way Snow also meets Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) who is suffering from his own money troubles — mainly being robbed by a band of stilt-wearing dwarves. When the Queen catches wind of the secret excursion she casts Snow out of the castle to be murdered by her assistant Brighton (Nathan Lane).
Fairy tales take flack for rejecting the idea of women being capable but even with its flighty presentation and dedication to the old school Disney method Mirror Mirror empowers its Snow White in a genuine way thanks to Collins' snappy charming performance. After being set free by Brighton Snow crosses paths with the thieving dwarves and quickly takes a role on their pilfering team (which she helps turn in to a Robin Hooding business). Tarsem wisely mines a spectrum of personalities out of the seven dwarves instead of simply playing them for one note comedy. Sure there's plenty of slapstick and pun humor (purposefully and wonderfully corny) but each member of the septet stands out as a warm compassionate companion to Snow even in the fantasy world.
Mirror Mirror is richly designed and executed in true Tarsem-fashion with breathtaking costumes (everything from ball gowns to the dwarf expando-stilts to ridiculous pirate ship hats with working canons) whimsical sets and a pitch-perfect score by Disney-mainstay Alan Menken. The world is a storybook and even its monsters look like illustrations rather than photo-real creations. But what makes it all click is the actors. Collins holds her own against the legendary Julia Roberts who relishes in the fun she's having playing someone despicable. She delivers every word with playful bite and her rapport with Lane is off-the-wall fun. Armie Hammer riffs on his own Prince Charming physique as Alcott. The only real misgiving of the film is the undercooked relationship between him and Snow. We know they'll get together but the journey's half the fun and Mirror Mirror serves that portion undercooked.
Children will swoon for Mirror Mirror but there's plenty here for adults — dialogue peppered with sharp wisecracks and a visual style ripped from an elegant tapestry. The movie wears its heart on its sleeve and rarely do we get a picture where both the heart and the sleeve feel truly magical.