ABC Television Network
Even before The Bachelor began its 18th season, the show’s new star Juan Pablo Galavis made headlines for all the wrong reasons. Prior to the premiere of The Bachelor, Galavis said he didn’t believe gays should appear on the show. He has apologized for the comment, both to the LGBT community as well as GLAAD, and recently stated he couldn’t be homophobic because his cousin is gay. (Uh, that’s not exactly how that works.)
However, since the show has begun, Galavis has proved he’s not quite the gentleman that viewers expect from The Bachelor. He often uses his daughter as an excuse to send women home for acting “un-ladylike” or setting a poor example. While his daughter's well being is ostensibly a good motivating factor, it was hypocritical when he told Renee he didn’t want his daughter to see him kissing so many women right before he turned around to swap spit with Nikki, Sharleen, and Clare. C’mon dude. Now you're just lying, and using your own child as a tool to do so.
The major event of the season that riled many viewers was how Galavis treated Clare after their midnight rendezvous in the ocean. When he told Clare a few days later — on camera — that he regretted the decision to meet her (and do whatever they did off camera), he seemed to blame her for manipulating him into the tryst. Unless I’m recalling high school sex ed class incorrectly, I’m pretty sure it takes two to tango.
But, as if Galavis couldn’t act any more like an uncivilized jerk, recent headlines detail his latest offscreen escapade: reportedly, Galavis sent a picture of himself fully nude to the lucky (if that’s really the word for it) lady he picked on The Bachelor — though we don’t know the winner yet, Galavis made his decision back in November. Galavis has officially hit an Anthony Weiner low. Yikes.
Although there have been some hated contestants on The Bachelor before — Jake Pavelka and Brad Womack to name a few — Galavis seems to be more despised than anyone else. While others have been able to redeem themselves, it seems unlikely that Galavis will be able to win back the public’s favor. He really is the worst Bachelor ever. Let’s hope The Bachelor doesn’t suffer.
ABC Television Network
Here’s the burning question everyone wants an answer to, or maybe it’s just the people on my FB feed because all the men in my life love them some boys: Is Juan Pablo a homophobe? Well, that depends. Does calling gay people “more pervert in a sense” make you an idiot? Absolutely. Was it taken out of context? Probably not. He said that while he respects LGBT parents (point Juan Pablo), he doesn’t “think it’s a good example for kids who watch that on TV.” Right, because a man swapping spit with eight drunk girls a night makes such a great role model. Dimwitted comments aside, Juan Pabs could be onto something. Check out this brilliant satire of gay bachelordom from Jesse Tyler Ferguson and George Takei. Only, it’s okay for them to mock the situation because they’re actually in the tribe.
Juan Pablo, going forward, please restrict your interview topics to empanadas and soccer cleats.Now, let’s get back to that highly moral show.Cassandra’s Date: The One Where All Expenses Were Spared Just in case it didn’t click the four times she repeated it, this one-on-one was Cassandra’s first date since she was 18 (so, since her baby daddy). To celebrate the occasion, JP took her on land and sea in a sexed-up duck boat and then back to his house for a no-frills dinner. Guess she’s not worth an ice rink or a private concert. Over his “secret” pasta, she unveiled her dead mama drama. Lacking topics to chat about, JP gives her - the ex-pro dancer - a salsa lesson. Actually looks like she needed it. In the end, Juan Pablo, who was just about hitting puberty when young Cassie was born, rewards her the rose on behalf of her hotness.Group DateKelly, Renee, Sharleen, Danielle, Alli, Lauren, Andi, Christy, Lucy, and Nikki take to the turf so they can watch Juan Pablo be cute playing soccer. A ball whacks Sharleen in the head but she keeps playing because she’s a great sport. Or robot. Juan Pablo sucks face with Andi in a kitchen. Then he makes a mid-field picnic for Sharleen – victim of ball abuse – so all the pissed-off ladies can watch them have what appears to be the worst kiss in Bachelor history. Sharleen wonders why this process doesn’t feel “organic.” You want a normal date, Shar Shar? Get off the show. “I don’t feel secure in my connection with him. It both surprises and bothers me that I care as much as I do,” said the automaton. Nikki, one of the gals he hasn’t groped, gets the rose. The lesson? Keep your tongue in your mouth, ladies.Chelsie’s Date: Binge Eating and Bungee Jumping They force-feed each other fried cheese and then head to the nearest bridge. Chelsie has a panic attack, because a) why would you hurdle yourself off a perfectly good bridge and b) she just wolfed an empanada. “Do it for me,” he pleads, sweetly encouraging her to risk death for a cheap stunt. It works and off they plunge. He steals an upside down Spiderman kiss. Hopped up on adrenaline and a solid misattribution of arousal, she says, “Thanks for talking me off that ledge.” No, Chelsie. That’s not how that saying works. For dinner, she’s treated to a candlelit City Hall-scape and then yet another concert by a band no one has ever heard of.The Pool Party:In a deft move, Juan Pablo goes to the mansion early to cook the girls breakfast and peep them without makeup. As luck would have it, most of them looked adorable in their eye glasses, skank morning breath and “piyamas.” The chicas who were late to rise were warned that JP was in-house so they'd have time to apply foundation. That’s sisterhood. Instead of a proper cocktail party, the crew transitions to the pool for some day drinking. Sharleen gripes that she isn’t in her element. “My soul wants to be left alone.” Good grief, woman. More unappetizing fishy kisses follow.And the roses go to:Andi, Renee, Kelly, Sharleen (rocking a seriously unladylike boob window), Elise, Kat, Alison, Clare, Lauren, DanielleR.I.PNaked Lucy (I’ll actually miss her a smidge) and Christy, who I’ve never seen before.
Now that some of the fat has been trimmed (no, I’m not being derogatory towards women), let the dating begin! The honor of Juan Pablo’s first ever one-on-one goes to Clare Bear, the hairdresser with the heart of gold. JP single-handedly (no, that’s not true) transforms L.A. into a Winter Wonderland complete with an ice skating rink so that he and Clare can flirt like toddlers followed by a very adult dip in the hot tub where she immediately opens up about her dead dad to score some extra bonding points. It’s a rule that every time the Bachelor is submerged in water, he has to kiss the girl nearest to him, so they proceed to smooch. Notably, there was no alcohol during this date – perhaps a first in Bachelor history, so the perceived chemistry was probably real. Does this mean Juan Pablo will be able to avoid the curse of the episode 7 weight gain? We’re looking at you, Sean. The date ends, like most Bachelor dates do with a surprise private concert by a band no one has ever heard of while fake snow falls on the dancing duo.Next up is a one-on-one with Kat who puts on her best chambray shirt for the occasion. She’s whisked away on a private plane. Where to, she muses. Paris? Miami? No, honey. You’re going to Utah for a made for TV rave. Yay! She changes out of her sexy denim into more suitable neon attire before joining masses of people who are all miraculously wearing the same light-up tracksuits. After dosing themselves with ecstasy, they join the 5K dance parade. She gets a rose. Duh. He’s hopped on goof balls. How else would you explain how much fun they're having waving around glow sticks?And now for the group date – every girl’s favorite (said no one on The Bachelor, ever).The theme: A photo shoot for “Models & Mutts” – an organization that pairs pretty women with mangy dogs to raise awareness for shelters. The contestants are all given costumes to wear – with varying range of hellaciousness depending on how much the producers hate them.Highlights
- Elise, the first grade teacher who’s also the softest of the bunch (which is to say she’s still tiny by human standards) is tasked with wearing two pieces of cardboard which will expose her naughty bits. She very cleverly swaps with happy naked Lucy who’s given a giant fire hydrant costume (well played, producers). Lucy is a good sport. Score one for sisterhood!- Andi, the DA, is given but one piece of cardboard to wear. She has a mini meltdown. “I send people to prison for a living ... I’m not that kind of girl ...” (read: I feel bloated today). Juan convinces her to strip down in the least pervy way possible. What a great dad.- Kelly, who is a “dog lover” by trade is dressed like a big poop. Literally, poop: complete with bald cap and brown head to toe makeup. So violently unattractive that she must have done something awful to Chris Harrison. But her good attitude gets her the group date rose. See? It never pays to whine (Andi).At the after party, boring Cassandra (the 21 year-old dancer/makeup artist) tells Juan Pablo she has a two-year old son (you do the math) so now she’s guaranteed to get a rose. Way to bury the lead, Cassie. “That’s a good surprise!” JP says with a face filled with genuine glee, making my ovaries hurt. Victoria drinks too much flat champagne and whips out this gem (it’s best if read slurred): “If Juan Pablo happens to be mine, I’m going to straddle him every day because that’s what life is about, straddling and things...” Classy. She locks herself in a bathroom sobbing because she hasn’t had any alone time with the guy she wants to hump. Renee (Den Mother of the year), slides under the stall door to very sweetly console. Not sanitary or helpful. Juan Pablo -- a veteran in the shutting down little girl tantrums department -- tries next but gets cussed out. Victoria is sent to the nearest Holiday Inn where she can’t be a bad influence on the other impressionable young ladies. Juan Pablo, as usual, is a perfect gentleman about the situation. He kindly executes her the next day in her hotel room. Conclusion: highly emotional drunks are unfit mothers and suitors for sober guys. Then comes the rose ceremony.No real surprises here. The curly haired girl flat irons her hair so she gets to stay. Cassandra’s a mom now so she’s sacrificed. Sharleen is still a b-word but she's "elegant" so gets a pass. Time's up for the only woman of color and Amy is let go after she "interviews" Juan Pablo in a campy, cringe-worthy news anchor routine. Men don't like performance art, missy. When will these women learn?Still high on our power rankings: Clare, Nikki, Andi, ReneeSee ya next week! Until then, cover up and drink in moderation.
As our Latino Prince gears up to meet his future amor, he puts in some bro time with last season’s “Batch-oh-lure” (as Juan Pablo says it), Sean Lowe. “Who else I was gonna call?” He’s da guy” JP reminds us. Lowe’s sage advice? Kiss as many gals as you like, but make sure the other women don’t see you and stay open minded. Well it worked for Sean and his fiancé Catherine. With that it’s time for our boy to embark on his “aventura.” That’s Juan Pablo for “journey.”98 minutes of pre-cap and re-cap in, bring on the women! All 27 of them. There’s typically only 25 but Juan Pablo has been so popular that he gets an extra two to reject. He starts to sweat as the first limo pulls up. "How am I going to send anyone hooooome?" An exhaustive list of the courtesans is below, but if you don’t like getting prematurely attached, here’s what we can learn about Juan Pablo (and men in general) from this episode.- Guys don’t like hair color that doesn’t exist in nature (Kylie)- Never cry on a first date. Insecurity is not cute (Lauren)- Dress elegantly and compose yourself as a lady. Save the freaky stuff for the fantasy suites. Juan Pablo is looking for a role model for Cameeeela after all (well played, Sharleen aka Miss “first impression” rose)- Seem uninterested. Make them do the begging (you win again, Sharleen ... except you’re not really playing, you’re just really not that into him. Get it together, girl!)- He looks better in clothes. Did I just commit "Bachelor" blasphemy?- JP takes great comfort in talking to the cameramen
The list of contenders follows. I’d skip to the highlight reel if I were you, or just watch the episode. It’ll be quicker. But if you’re bored at work, carry on "Bachelor" Nation:
Amy L, 27, Orlando - The local news reporter is first out of the limo. She offers up a wholesome hug and an otherwise dull introduction. Step it up, sister.Cassandra, 21, MI - She’s a retired NBA cheerleader turned makeup artist. Deep! There’s a horribly uncomfortable pause after they hug which she makes worse by pointing out how awkward the moment is. “We’re good. We’re on the same page,” Juan Pablo assures her. And on to the next.Christy, 24, IL - Her white gown really brings out her spray tan and bleached hair but Juan Pablo seems smitten. She’s the first to illicit a “Wow, gorgeous!” from JP. Guess he’s into blondes.Christine, 23, Miami - The “Police Support Specialist” (secretary?) gets another “Oh my God” from JP. Point 2 for blondes! She offers him a name bracelet to give Camila. Nice touch, Christine. But it's not enough. Nikki, 26, Kansas City - Despite the weird back tattoo, I'd first impression rose the heck out of this one. She’s a baby nurse who brings a stethoscope so Juan Pablo can listen to her heart / graze her boobs a little bit. After her he exclaims “No more leeemos” to no one in particular. Seriously, Juan Pablo, who are you talking to?Kat, 29, AZ - She breaks the touch barrier by requesting an impromptu salsa lesson. Juan Pablo is game. And I crack. This naysayer is officially Team Pablo.Chantel, 27, CA - She’s spilling out of her blue bandaid dress. Otherwise, we're sure she's a lovely girl. Victoria, 24, FL - The Brazilian exchanges a few Portugese words with Juan Pablo but she’s completely overshadowed by the next out the gate.Lucy, 24, CA – Her job description is “free spirit” (read: unemployed and trust-funded) so it’s not surprising when she flutters out in some wispy Urban Outfitters hippy dress and bare feet, badly in need of a pedicure. Juan Pablo seems to be charmed by her act. Maybe he doesn’t have a type after all.Danielle, 25, MO – She has curly hair. Curly haired girls historically don’t do well on the Bachelor.Lauren S, 26, TX – The music composer rolls in (literally) playing the piano. JP’s reaction is nothing short of adorable, even though she flubs a few of the last notes. He even musters a tear when she tells him that she composed the song for him because, duh, “Music is mi vida.” Our prediction: the other girls will eat this geek alive. Until then, play on sweet Lauren.Chelsie, 24, Ohio – She’s a “science educator” so it totally makes sense that she brings JP a little experiment accompanied by the not so sly “Instead of doing chemistry, why don’t we have chemistry?” (that's not a real sentence, teacher lady!) After she removes her safety goggles (wayfarers) manic laughter proceeds. In the pre-cap we see her recruiting a random Hispanic woman in the park to give her rudimentary Spanish lessons. Resourceful! He very obviously checks out her silver lame-covered booty as she walk away. Again with the blonde thing.Valerie, 26 CA, - Miss “I’m a pretty girl but I’m not afraid to scratch someone’s eyes out” is a personal trainer who rocks some cowgirl boots under her tacky dress, presumably to stomp on the other girls with? She doesn't get the chance. Elise, 27, “Forty Fort” PA – Besides being dressed like a disco ball, there are no real disasters to report here.Ashley, 25, Dallas - She gives Juan Pablo a gold star sticker, like she does her first grade students which he promptly loses by the time the next girl comes out of the limo.Clare, 32, CA – Because nothing attracts a man more than carrying another guy’s baby, Clare straps on a big ol’ preggers belly and basically asks JP to put a kid in her. Chick’s crazy. But her father died of brain cancer so we’ll give her a pass. Plus, before he went, he made DVD for her to give to her future husband. The number one (15th?) rule of cinema is you don’t show a gun if you ain’t going to shoot it. I look forward to sobbing 6 episodes from now Juan Pablo watches this DVD and then sends her off alone in that black car to hell.Alli, 26, Chicago She comes out kicking around a soccer ball which Juan Pablo decides to keep. Greedy. Amy, 31, LA Watching this massage therapist sensually knead some guy’s body while a distorted version of yoga was a lowlight for me.Renne, 32, FL, She’s a single mommy who likes to run half-naked on the beach so they have tons in common. She’ll stick around for awhile. As she sashays away Juan Pablo calls out “Bye Mama!” as the JP swoon factor swells to an all time high.Lauren, 25, OK She’s a “mineral coordinator” - which we can only assume means that she works in the salt section of the local grocery store – who was recently dumped by her fiancé. She’s a wounded bird who’s interests include pondering life lakeside and watching other people get married across said lake like a creepy, sad, voyeur.Maggie, 24, SC The “personal banker” (has a checking account?) gives Juan Pablo the gift of a fishing hook (which is not a gift) in hopes that he’ll be a good catch. He sends her back.Kelly, 27 & Molly the dog – She’s a “dog lover” by trade so naturally she brought her pup to do the charming on her behalf.Lacy, 25, CA When she’s not caring for old people in the nursing home she owns, she’s looking after her 9 special needs family members. Heart of gold much? As if she couldn’t be any kinder, she gives Juan Pablo a prescription from “Cupid’s Pharmacy” to cure his headache. Sadly they’re just red hots. He politely chokes one down.Alexis, 24, FL She makes a feeble attempt to speak Spanish, because that hasn’t been thought of before.Kylie, 23, IL Her orange hair and pretty, pretty princess dress makes her oh so Tinkerbell-chic. Not a good look as she walks away mid conversation.Sharleen, 29, Germany, Lots of side boob happening for this frigid opera singer in her otherwise concealing drapey chiffon dress which Juan Pablo is all about. His compliment does nothing to lighten her up. “I can’t wait to hear you sing.” (eyeroll) “I’ll hear you, I promise” (foreboding). She walks away, head held high, leaving a cool breeze in her wake. “Singers, I like singers…” he says to no one.Andi 26, Georgia The producers saved (one of) the bests for last. Juan Pablo is clearly smitten this assistant DA (frankly, we’re intimidated). She’s hot and she prosecutes gangs.And now, let the accelerated champagne drinking commence! Juan Pablo, who’d henceforth like to be referred to as the “dancing Bachelor” kicks off the party by breaking it down with the ladies. Between the music and the photo booth this Sweet 16 is off to a fantastic start as he puts most of holiday Barbies at ease. We gotta say, Juan Pablo is really owning it.
The party highlights:Most awkward moment: Amy massages Juan Pablo over his suit. She groans. He spends the rest of the party covered in essential oil.Worst way to stand out: Tear-stained Lauren kicks off her conversation with Juan Pablo with “I don’t want to lead with this, but I just broke off an engagement a month ago.” It was nice knowing you.Best cover for not knowing someone’s name: Juan Pablo says to Renee “how are you mom?” before opening up about his ex and tells her that Camila was the best goal of his life (is that a gross sperm reference?) He does manage to remember Renee’s kid’s name. A sign that she’ll go strong for many episodes until she offs herself because she misses her son (aka, fears humiliation of rose ceremony send-off)Most ESL moment: While “free spirit” Lucy splays her dirty feet atop Juan Pablo he remarks that she seems like a “happy camper” yet he miraculously keeps her around. How does that make you feel, other rejects?Most Oblivious Moment: Juan Pablo just can’t get over how elegant opera singer Sharleen is. Clearly this is because she’s the only girl not showing cleavage. Juan Pablo’s takeaway from her diatribe about her quest to find a vegetarian pea soup in Germany is that she’s “cultured” and therefore will be a good mate and so while she sits uncomfortably draped in his jacket, telling the cameras how disappointed she was that she felt no connection with Juan Pablo, he goes off to fetch her the first impression rose. She coldly responds “Thank you, sir.” Sir? Seriously? Clueless Juan Pablo confides “I know she’ll sleep well tonight because I gave her a rose.” We think you’re cute.Cringiest Moment (spoiler alert): When Juan Pablo calls Kat’s name in the rose ceremony and Kylie steps forward. Shudders.And the survivors are…Clare, Nikki, Renee, Andi, Alli, Chantel, Lauren S, Kelli (& Molly), Cassandra, Danielle Chelsea, Lucy, Victoria, Kirstie, Kat, Lucy, and a very smug Amy LAs a reward for making it through the longest night (and recap. sorry), we end by watching Juan Pablo teach Sean how to salsa dance. Simply adorable. Now let's find you a wife!
After garnering widespread praise (and an Oscar nomination for screenwriting) for his 2000 directorial debut You Can Count on Me Kenneth Lonergan was in-demand. In September 2005 the writer/director began production on a follow-up feature: Margaret which touted Anna Paquin Matt Damon Mark Ruffalo Matthew Broderick Allison Janney as well as legendary filmmakers Sydney Pollack and Anthony Minghella (The English Patient) as producers. The movie wrapped production in a few months time. The buzz was already growing.
Now six years later the movie is finally hitting theaters. So…what took so long?
The journey to this point hasn't been an easy one and it shows. If a film's shot footage is a block of granite and the editing process is the careful carving that turns it into a statuesque work of art Margaret feels like it was attacked by a blind man with a jackhammer. The film is a cinematic disaster a mishmash of shallow characters overwrought politics and sporadic tones. The story follows Lisa Coen (Paquin) a New York teenager who finds herself drowning in chaos after distracting a bus driver (Ruffalo) causing him to hit and kill a pedestrian (Janney). Initially Lisa tells the police it was all an accident but as time passes regret takes hold and the girl embarks on a mission to take down the man she now regards as a culprit. That's just the tip of the iceberg–along the way Lisa deals with everyday teen stuff: falling for her geometry teacher (Damon) combating her anxiety-ridden actress mother losing her virginity dabbling in drugs debating 9/11 and the Iraq War cultivating a relationship with her father in LA and more. There are about eight seasons of television stuffed into Margaret but even a two and a half hour run time can't make it all click.
For more on Margaret check out Indie Seen: Margaret the Long Lost Anna Paquin/Matt Damon Movie