Vince Vaughn, and wife since January, Kyla Weber, welcomed a baby girl into their family on Saturday morning in Chicago. The healthy baby girl weighed 7 pounds, and Vince and Kyla named her Locklyn Kyla Vaughn. Vince's rep confirmed the birth and said "both of them couldn't be happier to welcome their sweet little girl into the family." Congratulations to Vince and Kyla.
Locklyn, here's the thing: you actually kind of lucked out because instead of your friends comparing your name to the infamous Loch Ness Monster, they're just going to keep making fun of your old man's idiocy in lapping up Brad Pitt's sloppy seconds. HA! And, they'll remember the time your dad quit smoking! WHAT A LOSER! And OH! How about the time he was considered for the role of Chandler on FRIENDS but the part went to Matthew Perry instead? And how can we forget when your dad likened the stupidity of electric cars to homosexuals during a preview for his upcoming new movie, which (even though it was scripted and not a unique comment made by your old man), was not well-received at all! All this means that the part of the brain that your classmates would use to make fun of your name is already occupied with the malfeasances of your dad! In other words, good luck with leading a contributory existence!
Early Tuesday morning, Charlie Sheen was found in the Eloise suite at the Plaza Hotel here in NYC naked, coming down from a coke binge, and bleeding from an incident involving the chandelier. Oh, and how could I forget! There was a naked escort locked in the closet...as if she was the shameful activity. And his two young daughters were right down the hall from him! He is to be treasured.
After the incident, his representative told us it was an "adverse allergic reaction to a medication," which really just shows us that some people are really boring when it comes to playing Mad Libs. Sheen was taken to New York Presbyterian Hospital for psychiatric evaluation, and he agreed to pay the hotel $7,000 for ruining the suite and doing everything short of writing "REDRUM" on the walls with the escort's share of his blow. He wasn't arrested when he was found in the hotel because he elected to go to the hospital, and cops couldn't find any drugs on the scene so no criminal charges were filed against him. Today, Sheen told RadarOnline that he's totally fine, and we're all crazy for thinking this is something more than someone's normal reaction to having their prom date rescind their invitation. He even made a funny and said, "The story is totally overblown and overplayed as far as the reality of the scenario."
Isn't it fun to imagine which part of the "scenario" is overBLOWn? Do you think the media reported that it was an escort, when it was really just a hermit crap trying to find a new home in a shoe? Or do you think that instead of him doing lines of coke, he was doing waiting to get on line because he's silly and still uses AOL? OR, do we think he called the chandelier "Chandler from Friends" and he got punished?
In any case, Sheen is keen (nice) on going back to work. His representative said he was currently filming a cameo for one of his friends' movies, and he would be back to making $1.8 million an episode on Two and a Half Men next week. So rest assured! Even you, Martin Sheen! Everything is F-I-N-E!
Sources: People, People, Radar Online, Gothamist
Don't have the heart to sit through the three hour broadcast? That's fine, but you're no better than those of us that do (even if your name was written in the sky today). In the event you still care who won, I've bolded the winners of each category as soon as they were announced. If there's no bold name in a category, it means the award hasn't been given out yet, but be sure and check back later to see who took home the prize.
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy SeriesJesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern FamilyChris Colfer, GleeJon Cryer, Two And A Half MenTy Burrell, Modern FamilyEric Stonestreet, Modern FamilyNeil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy SeriesJane Lynch, GleeJane Krakowski, 30 RockKristen Wiig, Saturday Night LiveSofia Vergara, Modern FamilyJulie Bowen, Modern FamilyHolland Taylor, Two And A Half Men Outstanding Actor In A Comedy Series Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm Tony Shaloub, Monk Steve Carell, The Office, Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory Outstanding Actress In A Comedy Series Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, The New Adventures Of Old Christine Tina Fey, 30 Rock Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie Toni Collette, The United States of Tara Lea Michele, Glee Outstanding Reality-Competition Program American Idol Dancing With The Stars The Amazing Race Project Runway Top Chef Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series John Slattery, Mad MenMartin Short, DamagesAaron Paul, Breaking BadTery O'Quinn, LostAndre Braugher, Men Of A Certain AgeMichael Emerson, Lost Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama SeriesChristina Hendricks, Mad MenRose Byrne, DamagesArchie Panjabi, The Good WifeSharon Gless, Burn NoticeElisabeth Moss, Mad MenChristine Baranski, The Good Wife
Outstanding Actor In A Drama Series Jon Hamm, Mad Men Hugh Laurie, House Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights Michael C. Hall, Dexter Matthew Fox, Lost Outstanding Actress In A Drama Series January Jones, Mad Men Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU Glenn Close, Damages Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series The Tonight Show with Conan O'BrienThe Daily Show with Jon StewartThe Colbert Report with Stephen ColbertSaturday Night LiveReal Time with Bill Maher Outstanding Actress In A Miniseries Or Movie Dame Judi Dench, Return To Cranford Hope Davis, The Special Relationship Claire Danes, Temple Grandin Joan Allen, Georga O'Keeffe Maggie Smith, Capturing Mary Outstanding Actor In A Miniseries Or Movie Sir Ian McKellen, The Prisoner Dennis Quaid, The Special Relationship Jeff Bridges, A Dog Year Al Pacino, You Don't Know Jack Michael Sheen, The Special Relationship Outstanding Made For Television Movie Endgame Moonshot Temple Grandin Georga O'Keeffe The Special Relationship You Don't Know Jack Outstanding Drama Series True Blood Dexter Mad Men The Good Wife Lost Breaking Bad Outstanding Comedy Series Curb Your Enthusiasm Modern Family The Office 30 Rock Glee
7:50: I'm ready to start this. I've just finished some leftover Chinese food, and now I'm ready to tear some people apart. Good thing I'm not at my own apartment because my old neighbor Madeline would surely stop giving me lemon tarts every week after a full night of screaming for more shots of Christina Hendricks.
7:51: Ah, commercial. Back to Law and Order: SVU to watch Robin Williams reboot his One Hour Photo creep.
7:59: HERE WE GO! BRING ON THE LOSERS!
8:00: OHHHHH snap just show me Tina Fey and I'll play along. Kate Gosselin, not so much.
8:01: NICE. BETTY WHITE AND JON HAMM. I'm liking this more than the cold noodles I just ate. Oh look! Jane Lynch's wax figure.
8:05: I really like this and everything, but if Conan O'Brien isn't there, I almost don't even want to watch anymore.
8:06 It's funny, I know I'm supposed to be looking at Jimmy Fallon, but I just keep going back to the guy from Lost who was in the news recently about something who had to do with Weezer.
8:07: January Jones is sitting next to Jason OMG CONAN IS THERE!
8:09: Ah yes, a montage of a year in comedy. Set to Chris Brown. Too perfect.
8:11: Is this the first category? Betty White looks like some kind of gradient you use in a Microsoft paint application.
8:13: Eric Stonestreet's rockin that "what's in his tux pocket?" look. So is Seacrest, incidentally. Aw, parents.
8:15: Can I just say thank Prosecco that it's not Jon Cryer?
8:18: Sofia Vergara's supposed to run naked if Modern Family wins. If she does, I suspect you'll check out a little bit early from this and I'll get to go do something crazy, like put on my Thundercats t-shirt.
8:21: Modern Family won best writing. Cool. Why did we go from Best Supporting Actor to best writing?
8:23: Every time I update this I just realize how I have 2 more hours to do this. It's like waiting for a plane that keeps getting delayed, and you're not in a cool city like Manhattan, Kansas.
8:25: BADASS, JANE LYNCH! BADASS. Thank your wife, Jane.
8:27: Matthew Perry's coming on? Where has he been? What, they couldn't get the cow that stands outside Stew Leonard's?
8:31: Oh, I see Lauren Graham was available.
8:33: Ryan Murphy for Best Directing, yeah, I see that. I also see that tux.
8:37: Alright bitches, let's slab some lube on Steve Carell and give him something new to play with.
8:38: WELL SHIT! JIM PARSONS FOR BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY. I don't get this one. Is he even strong enough to be wearing that tie?
8:40: Do I have any designated pee breaks while I'm doing this? I forgot to ask my boss. Maybe this commercial for "You Again" is the best one I'll get.
8:44: I feel like Jimmy isn't even in this. Where's the tweeting? AAAAND Neil Patrick Harris brings the first funny joke of the night.
8:45: Nice! Edie Falco just schooled Tina Fey and Lea Michele. That's her fourth Emmy! She's tied with Tina now, I think! What's the point of Jimmy Fallon's guitar? Is there a theme? Was I drinking when they tried to make it obvious?
8:49: Ah yes, Top Chef for best reality program. I can really say I've never watched this show because nobody ever breaks up with anybody. Padma looks like she just had Angelina Jolie/Billy Bob Thorton limo sex with the baby-daddy we know but kind of don't -- the one who invented Dell or something.
8:52: Lots of commercials for Oprah's last season. I feel like this award show is already so bipolar the Oprah stuff is overkill.
8:59: I will be VERY SURPRISED if Connie Britton and/or Kyle Chandler win. But this cliché montage music...WAIT. THE END OF LOST IS A MASS SUICIDE?! That dog must've been pretty pissed if he'd been there since the plane crashed.
9:04: NICE. Aaron Paul for Breaking Bad. This guy looks so ADD, but cool.
9:05: Did he even thank his mother? I know he told her to stop crying, but that just shows you how ADD he really is.
9:10: Wow, I have nothing to contribute about Archie Panjabi's win for The Good Wife. So instead, here's some video of a shih tzu puppy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpjyCE-R4Y4 My boyfriend doesn't have Firefox, so I can't actually put the link in this post. But I promise you, it's worth the trouble of copying and then pasting into a new window. TRUST.
9:13: AWESOME. Bryan Cranston won his third Emmy. I seriously just started watching Breaking Bad yesterday, and to Michael C. Hall, whom I love: you deserve recognition too. Maybe go have a kid?
9:22: If Dexter only gets an award for Best Director, I will never watch another Emmys again.
9:23: If Jimmy Fallon's going to do this, he might as well go back to SNL. Seriously. JIMMY! HAVE YOU HIDDEN YOUR BALLS IN SOME STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE? Oh, I take it back. Boys II Men. Very nice.
9:27: AVON AVON AVON.
9:30: AVON AND WHISKIES.
9:31: These Twitter updates Jimmy Fallon keeps giving almost make me want to quit Twitter. Wow, Kyra Sedgwick for The Closer! Nobody saw that coming. Not even Paul the Octopus! WAIT SHE JUST PASSED HER EMMY OFF TO TINA FEY! Kyra, you got some bitch in you!
9:34: Do you think she's going to make Kevin Bacon do the Footloose dance tonight in celebration? It's such a waste if she doesn't. He even pimped it out for an episode of Will and Grace!
9:35: VARIETY! CONAN'S CATEGORY! WHAT SHALL I DO IF HE WINS? OH GOD, PLEASE LET HIM WIN. I WILL SIT DOWN IN SOMEONE'S BEDBUG-RIDDEN APARTMENT IF HE WINS.
9:37: Oh, nevermind. Writing for a variety special. Go back to watching some shih tzu puppies.
9:40: Did this asshole just thank Jay Leno?
9:43: How do you guys think Conan is passing the time while he's there? Do you think he's playing Tetris or something? He hasn't been tweeting.
9:46: Ricky Gervais should just do a vampire show already. Now that he's so skinny, your eyes immediately go to his Edward teeth.
9:47: Ah yes, Ricky Gervais does a Mel Gibson joke. "Not worse than the Jews!" he says! Stellar. Not even worse than when you walk into Pets on Lex because you're hungry and you find every puppy that's there in a dead puppy sleep.
9:51 OH SNAP IT'S HERE. I HOPE COCO SAVED HIS TETRIS GAME. THAT SHIT'S A BITCH TO START OVER.
9:53: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'WEFHIAOWR723057208YFJNASDMVNMCXZV.NASDKLJF;EW857429---DWRU I;FDSHAF;ASHG;AGY8EWAOPTY9WPQT5729357Q2PIUE'WJFEIJIAKOFJLAKS;HFLAHREOIWRYOIWEYRDKVNSKLNVLFASKHFOAIWEYRO3YO3ITHASHGDSAKLFNLKSDFOIHOWA;IEHR;WOIH;OAEIHTO;AHW;OIASHGO;ADYG
9:53: JON STEWART. AND HE'S NOT EVEN THERE TO ACCEPT IT. I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE AN HOUR LEFT OF THIS.
9:57: I can't even enjoy a commercial for Nate Berkus' new show now.
10:00: And now I have to watch George Clooney accept something he'll probably lose on a plane when he's going to stay at his villa in Italy? Please.
10:01: Betty White even stood up to honor George. It just got like a vomitorium all up in here.
10:04: Does anybody watch these "mini-series" or "movies" things?
10:10: That commercial for Jimmy Smits playing a lawyer for Outlaw did less for me than Kim Kardashian's Twitter background.
10:17: GAMECHANGER! JEWEL! PLEASE TELL ME SHE'S GOING TO MISUSE THE WORD 'CASUALTY' AGAIN!
10:26: I think it just hit me that John Slattery didn't win for Mad Men.
10:30: Claire Danes for the win for Temple Grandin. She didn't thank her husband. Downgrade. Now I'm going to go back to googling whether or not Roy Disney was an anti semite.
10:35: Alexander Skaarsgard is officially Jack Skellington. If you don't know who that is, you don't get me and you never will.
10:38: Very nice, Al Pacino for You Don't Know Jack.
10:45: Laurence Fishburne! How's it going brother?! No Montana tonight? That's okay, she's probably studying algorithms.
10:51: Mad Men's third Emmy! I'd like to make a joke about how Fred Armisen deserves and Emmy for having been married to Scientologist Elisabeth Moss for 10 months, but I already took a crack at Jewel and I've gotten lazy after doing this for 2 hours and 53 minutes.
10:57: Who's this goat (thanks EB) and what did he do with Ted Danson! AAAND UPSET! MODERN FAMILY FOR BEST COMEDY SERIES!
10:59: AAAAAAAAAND I'm spent. Remember to tip your lobotomist and visit Hollywood.com for the latest and greatest on awards you'll never win.
The Emmy Nominations Are Here
This morning, the Emmy nominations were announced and we learned which shows the Academy encourages us to use one-liners from when we joke around with each other (because most of us are neither original or funny).
Leading off with the most nominations was The Pacific, who racked up an impressive 24 chances to walk away with a faux gold statue. I don’t know much about the show, but even if I did, I wouldn’t say anything about it because I’d be too excited to tell you that Conan O’Brien was nominated for his stint as host of The Tonight Show. If Jay Leno had a car he didn’t care about, he’d probably not wash it today or chew gum inside it.
30 Rock is obviously nominated for “Best Comedy Series,” as is Curb Your Enthusiasm, Modern Family, Glee, Nurse Jackie, and The Office. The contenders for “Best Drama Series” are Breaking Bad, Dexter, The Good Wife, Lost, Mad Men and True Blood.
The ladies up for “Best Actress in a Comedy” are Lea Michele from Glee, Julia Louis Dreyfuss for The New Adventures of Old Christine, Edie Falco of Nurse Jackie, Amy Poehler of Parks and Recreation, Tina Fey from OBVIOUS TOWN and Toni Collette of The United States of Tara. The gentleman puffing their chests out in hopes of walking away with “Best Actor in a Comedy” are Jim Parsons of The Big Bang Theory, Larry David of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Tony Shaloub of Monk, Steve Carell from The Office, Alec Baldwin of 30 Rock, and Matthew Morrison from Wildcard (Glee).
The women vying to be recognized for their crying abilities by imagining spoiled milk are Kyra Sedgwick of The Closer, Glenn Close who taught your mother how to hit you, Connie Britton of Friday Night Lights, Julianna Margulies of The Good Wife who marries the bad husband, Mariska Hargitay of Law and Order: SVU and January Jones of Mad Men. The men up for the same title are Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad, Michael C. Hall of Dexter, Kyle Chandler of Friday Night Lights, Hugh Laurie of House, Matthew Fox of Lost, and Jon Hamm of Mad Men.
The nominated reality competition programs are American Idol, Amazing Race, Dancing With The Stars, Project Runway and Top Chef.
Last but not least, the nominees for “Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series” are The Colbert Report, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Saturday Night Live (which I’ll just gloss over unless the Emmy will only go to the Betty White episode), Real Time With Bill Maher, AND THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O’BRIEN.
So let’s hear it: who should’ve made it on here, and who should we stuff into a locker because they don’t deserve to be on here?
Source: USA Today
Based on a novel by Catherine Ryan Hyde "Pay It Forward" is about a boy named Trevor McKinney (Haley Joel Osment) who is inspired by his social studies teacher Mr. Simonet (Kevin Spacey) and comes up with a school project based on a simple concept: Don't wait to pay back good deeds; pay them forward three times over. One of the boy's attempts to do good includes bringing his teacher together with his alcoholic single mother Arlene (Helen Hunt).
This movie has all the makings of Oscar. Two-time Oscar winner Spacey is solid as usual and escapes into the role of Mr. Simonet whose facial and bodily burn scars hide a tragic secret. Oscar winner Hunt gets a chance to really flex her acting muscles and she does. Her scenes with young Osment are especially gripping. But the revelation in "Pay It Forward" is Osment. This boy was born to act and he improves upon his already impressive turn in "The Sixth Sense." It would be nice to see Osment win Oscar this year and Spacey and Hunt will surely receive nominations. Providing strong supporting work are Angie Dickinson Jay Mohr and James Caviezel and Jon Bon Jovi appears in a fortunately brief cameo.
Mimi Leder ("Deep Impact " "The Peacemaker") takes a break from action films and slows it down way down with "Pay It Forward." Her foray into the non-action realm is shaky. Some of the scenes are out of place and take away from the overall effectiveness of the film. One major and surprising plot point is heartbreaking unnecessary and executed in a contrived manner. And the ending is disjointed from the feel of the rest of the film. Fortunately for Leder she has an amazing cast and a strong story from author Hyde.
Bobby Garfield (David Morse) returns to his small hometown to attend the funeral of his childhood friend and remembers the fateful summer in 1960 when his whole world changed. The story flashes back to when 11-year-old Bobby (Anton Yelchin) and his best friends Carol (Mika Boorem) and Sully-John (Will Rothhaar) capture the pure joy of youthfulness. When a mysterious stranger named Ted Brautigan (Anthony Hopkins) moves upstairs and starts to pay attention to Bobby the boy suddenly realizes what's truly missing from his life--the love of a parent. Bobby's mother Liz (Hope Davis) is embittered by the death of Bobby's father and shows little compassion for her son's growing needs. Ted fills a void with the boy opening his eyes to the world around him and helps Bobby come to terms with his real feelings for Carol--and his mother. But Ted also has some deep dark secrets of his own and Bobby tries hard to stop danger from reaching the old man.
The performances make the film especially in the genuine camaraderie of the kids. Yelchin Boorem and Rothhaar never deliver a false move with an easiness that makes us believe we are simply watching three 11-year-old children grow up together. Yelchin in particular is able to get right to the heart of this young boy who misses his father and clings to the only adult who will listen. And his scenes with Boorem simply break your heart. (Davis) does an admirable job playing a part none too sympathetic. She manages to show a woman whose been beaten down but who does truly love her son in her own way. Morse too is one of those character actors you can plug in any movie and get a performance worth noting. In Hearts you want to see more of him. Of course the film shines brightest when Hopkins is on the screen. It may not be an Oscar-caliber performance but the actor is unparalleled in bringing a character to life--showing the subtleties of an old man looking for some peace in his life.
If you are expecting the Stephen King novel you may be disappointed. Screenwriter William Goldman and director Scott Hicks (Shine) deftly extracted the King formula of telling a story through a child's eye and explaining how the relationships formed as a child shaped the adult later. Hicks did an amazing job with his young actors especially Yelchin and Boorem. But where the novel continued into a supernatural theme explaining Brautigan's fear of being captured by "low men in yellow coats" (a reference to King's The Dark Tower series) the movie downplayed the mystical elements instead giving real explanations for Brautigan's man-on-the-run. That was the one problem with Hearts--we needed more danger. Introducing men from another dimension may not have been the way to go but had there been more tension the film would have resonated more especially when Bobby risked his own safety to save Ted.