The God of Legion secular Hollywood’s latest Biblically-inspired action flick is old-school an angry spiteful Almighty with a penchant for Old Testament theatrics. Fed up with humanity’s decadent warmongering ways He’s decided to pull the plug on the whole crazy experiment and start over from scratch.
Fortunately for us the God of Legion is also a rather lazy fellow. Instead of doing the apocalyptic work himself and wiping us out with a giant flood which worked perfectly well last time He opts to delegate the task to His army of angels — a questionable strategy that starts to fall apart when the archangel charged with leading the planned extermination Michael (Paul Bettany) refuses to comply.
Michael who unlike his boss still harbors affection for our sorry species abandons his post and descends to earth where inside the swollen belly of Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) an unwed mother-to-be working as a waitress in an out-of-the-way diner sits humanity’s lone hope for survival. Why is this particular baby so important? Is it the one destined to lead us to victory over Skynet? Heaven knows — Legion reveals little details its script devoid of actual scripture. What is clear is that God’s celestial hitmen want the kid whacked before it’s born.
But Michael won’t let humanity fall without a fight. Armed with a Waco-sized arsenal of assault weapons he hunkers down with the diner’s patrons a largely superfluous collection of thinly-sketched caricatures from various demographic groups led by Dennis Quaid as the diner’s grizzled owner Tyrese Gibson as a hip-hop hustler and Lucas Black as a simple-minded country boy.
Together they mount a heroic final stand against hordes of angels who’ve taken possession of “weak-willed” humans turning kindly old grandmas and mild-mannered ice cream vendors into snarling ravenous foul-mouthed beasts. They descend upon the ramshackle diner in a series of full-frontal assaults commanded by the archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) the George Pickett of End of Days generals.
Beneath its superficial religious facade Legion is really just a run-of-the-mill zombie flick a Biblical I Am Legend. Bettany an actor accustomed to smaller dramatic roles in films like A Beautiful Mind and The Da Vinci Code looks perfectly at ease in his first major action role wielding machine guns and bowie knives with equal aplomb. Conversely first-time director Scott Stewart a former visual effects artist does little to prove himself worthy of such a promotion serving up some impressive CGI work but not much else worthy of note.
On Friday, a California judge dismissed drug charges against actor Robert Downey Jr. and ended his probation, The Associated Press reports. Downey pleaded no contest to cocaine possession and being under the influence last July and was sentenced to a year at a live-in rehabilitation center and three years' probation. But Downey has stayed clean and sober for 14 months now, prompting Riverside County Superior Court Judge Randall D. White to deny the district attorney office's request to extend the actor's probation for another six months. Downey's attorney said his client was "absolutely ecstatic and very optimistic he'll be able to stay sober and get movie parts again."
A new biography on Nicole Kidman claims the actress has had three great loves in her life: Hollywood heartthrob Tom Cruise, Australian actor Tom Burlinson and a third, who remains a highly guarded secret. According to Australia's The Sunday Telegraph, the book, titled Nicole Kidman, The Biography, speculates the mystery man could be one of two boyfriends from her teen years, including a surfer and carpenter named Doug.
Charlie Sheen has put his four-bedroom, 6,000-square-foot Malibu Lake, Calif., home on the market for $3.6 million--$1 million less than the listing price he sought a year ago--the Los Angeles Times reports. Dubbed "the ultimate bachelor pad," the property boasts a poker room, a cigar room, a fire pole that descends from the closet in the master suite to the front entrance and a guest house converted into an "aqua room" with walls of saltwater aquariums. Sheen reportedly spent 10 years redesigning the house but is now looking for a different kind of home with his new wife, Denise Richards.
Veteran actor Mickey Rourke and Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale have reportedly joined the cast of the British gangster flick Red Light Runners, Ananova.com reports. The all-star cast already includes Harvey Keitel and Dennis Hopper. Runners' writer and producer, Clark Westerman, also revealed plans to insert a dead celebrity into one scene using special effects, but he wouldn't say who. Rossdale will also contribute to the film's soundtrack.
Adam Sandler will executive produce Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, a comedy about a 30-something washed-up child actor who hires a foster family to re-create the childhood he never had. David Spade will star with Charmed actress Alyssa Milano playing his love interest. The project will be directed by What's the Worst That Could Happen?'s Sam Weisman.
Bernie Mac turned down Damon Wayans' plea for help in the Wednesday night sitcom face-off, the AP reports. "Wherever I am, I have to play. I have to put on a good show," Mac said. "That's not my fight." Wayans recently expressed concern over Fox's decision to move The Bernie Mac Show opposite Wayans' My Wife and Kids at 8 p.m. on ABC Wednesday nights. Mac believes there is room for both shows at the same time because they attract different audiences.
Conan O'Brien is close to signing a deal to serve as master of ceremonies for the 54th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards show this fall, Reuters reports. O'Brien is expected to be formally announced as host next Tuesday, with NBC set to broadcast the Emmys live on Sept. 22 from the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles.
While O'Brien will be busy emceeing the Emmys, Saturday Night Live star Jimmy Fallon will be hosting the MTV Video Music Awards on Aug. 29, Variety reports. Fallon, who co-anchors SNL's Weekend Update newscast with Tina Fey, will host the show solo. Jamie Foxx hosted last year's VMAs.