Before a winner was crowned on Dancing with the Stars last night, Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough, Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer, and Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas all performed “instant cha cha chas” for the judges. But even before they did that, we watched taped segments in which Len Goodman made cases for why each one deserves the mirrorball.
The first to dance their cha chas was Kyle and Lacey, which was definitely not outstanding, or even very entertaining. Second in line were Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough, and even THAT wasn’t exciting. And finally, Bristol Palin was up, which was only watchable because she grinded up on Mark Ballas much more than usual and did every move four times, which means if you DVRed it, you can go back and learn the routine in time for New Year’s. Kyle and Lacey got a score of 28 points, Jennifer and Derek also got 28 points, and Bristol and Mark got 27 points.
SO WHO WON? Surprisingly and yet not surprisingly, Jennifer Grey was crowned the champion of this season, after earning 118 points. Kyle Massey placed 2nd with 110 points, and Bristol got third place with 104 points. Feel free to skip the gym on this new holiday.
After reports surfaced that Tea Partiers might be taking advantage of the very lax voting system (which explains why Bristol achieved the next to impossible and made it to the finals while doing little to no movement AND beat out the talented Brandy last week), and keeping in mind that a lot of people believe the winner should be the dancer who’s improved the most over the season and NOT the dancer who’s been a steady fantastic the whole way, I was thinking that Bristol was going to be crowned the winner. After all, if she’d made it that far, what would be the point of beating out all those talented (and arguably more deserving of the mirrorball) dancers if she wasn’t going to be crowned the champion? I suspect producers might have intervened at the last second and (not very judiciously) decided to just give Jennifer (the unequivocal best dancer, who was in first place on the leader board for seven out of the competition's ten weeks) the trophy to protect the show's integrity...because if Bristol had won, you can bet you'd be reading a lot less about the new Travolta baby and a lot more about political corruption seeping into the reality show universe.
John Travolta and Kelly Preston welcomed their new son, Benjamin, in Florida last night. The baby weighed 8 pounds, 3 ounces. Their representative issued the following statement: "John, Kelly and their daughter Ella Bleu are ecstatic and very happy about the newest member of their family. Both mother and baby are healthy and doing beautifully." - People
Emmy Rossum and Counting Crows frontman, Adam Duritz, have split up. They met through Twitter...so, surprise! - People
Jennifer Grey won Dancing with the Stars last night, and Bristol Palin got third place. So go back to putting using your "white powder" to get into your Louboutins, okay? - US
Eva Longoria regrets not leaving Tony Parker sooner, because apparently, five months into their marriage, Tony cheated on her, and she kneels at the pew in the church of "once a cheater, always a cheater." - PopEater
Jennifer Jason Leigh has filed for divorce from her husband, director Noah Baumbach. She cited irreconcilable differences and she's seeking spousal support and primary custody of their son, Rohmer. - People
People think Christina Aguilera is pregnant, and some guy named Matthew Rutler, a production assistant on Burlesque, made her that way. - Superficial
Leonardo DiCaprio was aboard Delta flight 30, which was forced to make an emergency landing in New York after one of the plane's engines cracked out and started leaking fuel. After signing autographs for the pilots, he boarded another plane to Russia, where he donated $1 million towards tiger conservation. Yes, but he's still a smoker!!! - People
Jessica Simpson is already making fun of her financé, who is vegan, for what he be eating this Thanksgiving. She says, "For Thanksgiving, we have to make Tofurkey! It doesn't sound right! It's gonna be jiggly and weird." - People
Surely you’ve heard the story of Aron Ralson, the mountain climber whose arm got trapped under a boulder and in order to survive, he had to amputate it himself. I’m also sure you’ve considered if you would be able to do that – if you would be able to realize you needed to cut your own arm off, and actually follow through with it. Before James Franco agreed to take the part in 127 Hours, he probably wondered if he would be able to adequately play a man who would surely die if he did not cut off his own arm. Franco stopped by Jay Leno to try and articulate the force of Aron’s willpower and describe how much of a transformation it was on him, but all Leno wanted to know is how many arms Danny Boyle went through to get the shot.
And after learning Bristol Palin did not vote in the midterm elections, Meghan McCain told Leno how she must only care about votes for Dancing with the Stars.
Zach Galifianakis told Jimmy Fallon about his life in L.A., and what it was like to smoke weed on Bill Maher’s show.
They also played that game, “Real People, Fake Arms” after Galifianakis shaved his head?
Tina Fey did another Sarah Palin imitation for David Letterman. She should start commanding a mall Santa Claus at Christmas-sized salary for each impression.
Jon Stewart reiterated how the Republicans took control of the House of Representatives, while the Democrats remained control of the Senate. He also talked about how nicely women handled themselves very nicely, considered one of them spent more money than anyone in history and she lost. He also played a clip of John Boehner crying BECAUSE HE WON, which means since Jon Hamm’s sobs were autotuned, his should be too.
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And Stephen Colbert parted ways with a bunch of congressmen and women he did not care for.
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