The beginning of August brings blood-stained tears to our eyes. Yes, it's a bummer that summer's coming to a close way too soon, but we're mostly saddened that the end of True Blood is near. Can you believe we're only two episodes away from the sixth season finale? This season flew by almost as fast as it took Bill to behead Governor Burrell.
But we don't have to bid farewell to this season of True Blood quite yet! We still have a hell of a lot of drama going down in Bon Temps! So, let's clear up some of the gory and bloody bits that this week's episode bombarded us with.
Feisty FellowsThe episode starts off with Eric and Bill in a fight because Bill's all like, "Let's go save our kind!" And Eric's like, "Dude, chill, my sister just died, give me a hot sec." So then the two verbally bash each other. And can I just say that I do love watching two hot gentlemen get all worked up?
Even Werewolves Have A HeartAlcide's pack is PISSED – and I mean pissed, hence the caps – since Alcide lied about Nicole and her pals' deaths, which causes Rikki to challenge Alcide to take over a pack-master, but Alcide's ripped as anything so he obviously kicks her ass…
Sam against Alcide's orders comes back to Bon Temp to mourn over Terry's loss, but since Alcide's not so chill with his pack right now to say the least, he tells Sam its quite alright to be in town… Alcide even returns Nicole and her momma to Sam, and the two bond as the throw back some shots. Aw! We missed Alcide's sweet side, glad to have the handsome hunk's heart back in the game. Oh, and to add to the shifter/werewolf drama-mill, we find out that Nicole's preggers… yet, she has no effing clue. But hey, I guess Sam's superb sense of smell is good for something, eh?
Arlene In The KnowBack at Arlene's pity-party in memory of Terry, Lafayette (who rocks a killer headscarf, might I add) shares with Arlene that thanks to life insurance, Arlene's entitled to two million dollas. After finding out that Terry purchased insurance only a few short days before he got shot and killed, Arlene melts down as she realizes that it was his choice to exit from the world for good. Ugh, that poor ginger!
Go Out In StyleSarah Newlin, whose been busy lying her ass off about Governor Burrell's death, gets a surprise visit from a True Blood rep Ms. Suzuki, who threatens to call the FDA on Newlin's ass for contaminating True Blood, which elicits quite the cat fight to go down and Sarah ends up beating Suzuki to death with a stiletto heel. If you're going to go out, might as well go out in style, eh? P.S. Can we talk about just how bats**t crazy Sarah is?
Adelyn's all grown up and not only is she making out with Holly's son but also attracting Eric, well kind of, the vamper just needs some fairy blood pumping through his veins. But it's downright hilarious when Eric glamours Holly's son scrapping memories from his mind, including the image of Adelyn's naked. I don't think Eric feels guilty for sinking his fangs into Adelyn, but at least he feels a bit of remorse for seizing the memory of her rack!
Here Comes The SunSteve Newlin squeals to Sarah that it was James, who clued him in about the contaminated True Bloods, Sarah threatens to squish all the vampers refusing to drink their True Blood rations into the dreaded circular room along with Steve and James into…. and yeah, this room looks like the one from Bill's vision! Oh snap!
And after Violet and Pam get into a tiff over Violet hogging Jason, the guards realize their refusing to drink the True Bloods as well. So the two gutsy gals along with Tara, Jessica, and Willa get pushed into this room. At least Jessica is kind enough to warn her vampire friends they are destined to meet the sun. But let's be real, a warning that you're about to fry up and die isn't going to worry you any less about frying up and dying. But thanks for trying Jess! Major kudos.
Fairy-Vampire Bride to BeBack in fairy world, Sookie tries to convince Warlow to offer up his super powered blood to save the vampire race, but he's only down to become a donor if Sookie will be his one and only forever and always. Sookie's hesitant to become Warlow's "fairy-vampire bride." But after a visit to her parent's grave where she gives them a final "F**k you," she reveals how she'd rather roam the world as a corpse than die and rot by her parents' side.
Sooke gets all glammed up for her lover boy Warlow, but by the time she arrives to fairyland with Bill, Warlow's not in good enough shape to walk down the aisle. The endearing fairy-vamp suffered a nasty attack from Eric. And I was just picking out my dress to wear to the wedding… Damn!
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And you thought the Frog Prince had it bad. Our cruelly taunted “pig-faced” damsel in distress (Ricci) requires more than just a knight in shining armor. He must also be a blue blood--like her--who wants to marry the heiress. Then and only then will a generations-old family curse be reversed and Penelope’s snout be magically transform into a nose even a supermodel would covet. Hidden away from the world by her loving but slightly embarrassed parents (Richard E. Grant and Catherine O'Hara) Penelope now wants to lead a normal life. But despite the best matchmaking efforts of Penelope’s mother she remains young not so free but definitely available. Prospective husbands line up to meet Penelope in the hopes of claiming her sizeable dowry but as soon as they lay eyes on her that’s all folks. Then there’s Max (James McAvoy). Not that Max has seen Penelope. In an effort not to scare him off Penelope remains behind a one-way mirror while she’s courted by this kindhearted suitor. What she doesn’t know is that Max--who’s gambled away his family’s fortune--is also only in it for the money. He’s being paid to take Penelope’s photo by a sleazy tabloid reporter (Peter Dinklage) with an ax to grind. When all is revealed a hurt Penelope trots off to the city to live the life she’s always wanted to experience for herself. Only she doesn’t realize that Max harbors feelings for her. If you were Max how much would you bet that true love prevails? Admit it you’re curious as to how Ricci--one of Hollywood’s most unconventional beauties--looks like as a freak-show attraction. After a few minutes with her face hidden from view Ricci’s prosthetic snout is revealed in all its porcine glory. Honestly she’s adorable in a Miss Piggy-gone-Wednesday Adams way. But a sunny Ricci rightfully portrays Penelope as a wounded soul whose confidence and resourcefulness masks the pain caused by her physical abnormality and the rejection she endures. Sparks do fly between Ricci and McAvoy who reveals a roguish charm that for obvious reasons are absent from the more dramatic performances he gives in Atonement and The Last King of Scotland. Penelope suggests McAvoy has what it takes to pull off a Hugh Grant-style rom-com. O'Hara is hilariously harried as Penelope’s well-meaning but unintentionally interfering mother though she does manage to make her somewhat sympathetic. Dinklage’s post-Station Agent career has found him playing many nasty fellows but he slowly and slyly reveals that there’s more to his vindictive eye-patched journo than we first suspect. Perhaps in an attempt to protect her investment Penelope producer Reese Witherspoon makes a fleeting appearance as Ricci’s motor-mouthed gal pal. She’s quite amusing but her role is superfluous. Penelope also does it bit to keep many familiar British faces gainfully employed but that’s not to say Richard E. Grant Nick Frost Lenny Henry and Nigel Havers have much to do. The oddest thing about Penelope is not that Ricci has a pig’s face. No it’s the strange world that director Mark Palansky halfheartedly creates around her. You don’t need to be an Anglophile to spot that Penelope was filmed in London. So why is the city overrun with Americans? Worse everyone uses retro-futuristic contraptions--from phones to spy cams--that look like they were pilfered from wherever Terry Gilliam keeps his props from Brazil. But they clash with the contemporary sensibility that Penelope projects. If you’re going to place the heroine in a world unlike our own one in which magic exists be committed to doing so. Otherwise it’s just confusing and off-putting as proves to be the case with Penelope. That said Palansky knows what makes a fairy tale work even one that feels a bit stale and predictable in this Shrekian era. He presents us with a spunky heroine we can love and admire a flawed Prince Charming whose redemption hinges on the love of a good woman and villains deserving of our loudest boos. He keeps things light and fluffy and there’s an undeniable innocence to Penelope that should make it quite appealing to young girls who adore Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Unlike Shrek though Penelope may leave the Princess Barbie set somewhat confused by the mixed messages it sends on body image. For a fairy tale that takes pride in its heiress’ graduate realization that she loves herself for who she is not how she looks Penelope’s happily ever after seems sadly and shamefully obsessed with the skin deep.