Given the astronomical ratings of The Big Bang Theory, currently the most-watched scripted show on television, CBS could get decent ratings for the rest of Thursday night if they just ran a loop of old aspirin commercials from the 1950s. Y'know, the ones with the little animated jackhammers attacking a cartoon x-ray of the pounding skull of a man in a gray flannel suit.
Actually, now that I say that, that would be awesome. They should totally do that.
Sadly, it would be more entertaining than either of the new sitcoms CBS has currently scheduled for Thursday nights between The Big Bang Theory and the increasingly irrelevant Two and a Half Men. Both The Crazy Ones and The Millers have excellent casts and high-powered off-screen talent, and yet both are seriously hampered by terrible scripts and inconsistent characterization.
Look At Me, I'm Wonderful!
The Crazy Ones is a bizarrely self-indulgent trifle from David E. Kelley, who indulges all of his most irritatingly whimsical mannerisms on this tale of an aging Chicago ad executive. Speaking of whimsical mannerisms, Robin Williams returns to television for the first time in over thirty years as creative genius Simon Roberts, caught in a strange no-man's-land between the cocaine-fueled anarchy of his old stand-up persona and the icky sentimentality of his "serious" film roles. Sarah Michelle Gellar has the thankless role of his daughter and creative partner Sydney, an underwritten part that's supposed to serve as the buffer between Williams' antic riffing and the audience. But since she spends most of her screen time being exasperated by her dad's schtick, the audience also finds his tics obnoxious and tiring.
The genuinely talented Hamish Linklater is utterly wasted as the agency's art director; his sole memorable character trait is that he talks at the same time as Sydney, making both of them unintelligible, which I suspect we're supposed to find endearing and make us want the characters to hook up or something. James Wolk, last season's Mad Men breakout, plays a smarmy charmer who makes Bob Benson look the soul of office discretion. But by far the most annoying is Amanda Setton as Sydney's assistant. She's a likeable actor, whom you may remember from the early episodes of The Mindy Project, where she gamely did the best she could as the generic Jersey-girl receptionist before she was written out of the show. But her key scene in the pilot, where she offered to let Simon smell her hair because "the scent of a young woman's shampoo" is supposed to reinvigorate an older man, was Kelley at his creepy, patronizing worst. I mean, it was just really icky.
Congratulations, Dads, You're No Longer 2013's Worst Sitcom
Still, as annoying as it is, The Crazy Ones is still at least slightly better than The Millers. Creator and executive producer Greg Garcia is in danger of losing all the goodwill he got as the creator of My Name Is Earl and the genially charming Raising Hope with this formulaic tripe. With Will Arnett, Margo Martindale and Beau Bridges in the leads, the show has an immensely talented cast. But the by-the-numbers plot (local news reporter Nathan finally tells his bickering parents that he divorced his wife, which promptly causes his father to walk out on his mother after 43 years) is more suited to one of those tongue in cheek retro series that they're making on Nick At Nite. The quality of the writing is even worse: unrealistically sitcommy, with telegraphed jokes and obnoxiously broad characterizations. The enormously talented Martindale is stuck playing a shrill, intrusive mother, and as the clueless and accident-prone dad, Bridges gives Homer Simpson a run for the most too-stupid-to-be-alive character currently on TV. The always-appealing Jayma Mays, as Nathan's younger sister Debbie, comes closest to likeable, but she's nowhere near enough to save this mess.
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It looks like Amanda Seyfried is saying goodbye to Hollywood men...at least for the time being. Multiple sources have confirmed that the actress -- who has dated Ryan Phillippe and Dominic Cooper in the past -- has been exclusively dating New York real estate executive, Andrew Joblon, for the last month. The couple were spotted together on Tuesday night at the Eric Trump Foundation's Golf Invitational & Gala at Trump National Golf Club in Westchester. At first the duo remained distant for the cocktail portion of the evening, but then cozied up to each other as the night wore on.
Later on in the evening while Bret Michaels entertained the crowd, the In Time star was spotted affectionately laying her head on Joblon's shoulder and running her hand along his arms. A source close to the handsome exec stated that Joblon was "surprised but pleased" that Seyfried appeared to be so comfortable in public with her new beau. This isn't Joblon's first celebrity relationship, and he previously dated 43-year-old Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon. But apparently he prefers to hang out with a younger crowd these days (Amanda is 25-years-old). We will just to have to wait and see if this one sticks.
Click on the image below for more photos of Amanda Seyfried!
First in "Order"
Despite a strong showing by NBC's Law and Order, which topped the Nielsen ratings list for the first time last week with its season finale, CBS remained the top-rated network last week as such reliable standbys as JAG and Everybody Loves Raymond performed above expectations. The network wound up with an average 7.4 for the week with a 13 share. NBC was close behind with a 7.3/13, while ABC finished with a 6.4/11. Fox remained in last place among the Big 4 networks with an average 2.5/5 for the week.
The top 10 shows of the week according to Nielsen Research:
1. Law and Order, NBC, 14.2/23; 2. Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS, 13.3/20; 3. Law and Order (special), NBC, 12.2/19; 4. Frasier, NBC, 12.1/19; 5. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (Tuesday), ABC, 10.9/18; 6. Judging Amy, CBS, 10.8/18; 7. Millionaire (Monday), ABC, 10.7/17; 7. NYPD Blue, ABC, 10.7/18; 9. JAG, CBS, 10.5/17; 10. ABC Monday Night Movie: Anne Frank Pt. 2, ABC, 9.5/15; 10. Dharma & Greg, ABC, 9.5/15.0.
ABC's Brown to become new face of CNN
ABC News veteran Aaron Brown, familiar to many as the anchor of the Saturday edition of World News Tonight, has been nabbed by CNN, which is expected to feature him in an hour-long evening newscast beginning next fall, according to published reports. Thursday's New York Times said that CNN was hoping to use Brown to replace the recently retired Bernard Shaw as the news network's "defining face."
Ousted BET host Smiley to land at ABC
Former BET talk-show host Tavis Smiley, who was fired by the black cable network last March after he sold an interview to ABC's PrimeTime Thursday, is close to a deal that would see him hosting a daytime talk show on ABC as well as contributing to its magazine shows -- including PrimeTime Thursday -- on a regular basis, published reports said Wednesday.
No backlash to "Survivor" revelations, says CBS
Following the release of a deposition by Survivor contestant Dirk Been in which he acknowledged being influenced by producer Mark Burnett to change a key vote during the production of the show, CBS has received no letters and only two email messages about the matter, the Wall Street Journal reported Thursday, citing a CBS spokesman. Both email messages supported the network, the newspaper said. Analysts contacted by the WSJ expressed doubt that an audience backlash would materialize as a result of the lawsuit brought by another contestant, Stacey Stillman, against CBS and the Survivor producers. "This is no quiz-show scandal," Robert Thompson, director of Syracuse University's Center for the Study of Popular Television, told the WSJ.
Porn site pays Anderson and beau "seven figures"
The Internet porn site Internet Entertainment Group has settled a lawsuit brought against it by former Baywatch star Pamela Anderson and Bret Michaels, the lead singer of Poison, for "a seven-figure sum" for attempting to sell video of the couple having sex. Previously IEG had settled a case with Anderson over another sex tape that it distributed showing her having sex with Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee. According to published reports, unlike the Anderson-Lee video, the Anderson-Michaels tape was never widely distributed because Anderson's attorneys took prompt legal action against IEG to block it.
"Big Brother" is Britain's "most censored" show
The live daily telecasts of the hit reality show Big Brother on the U.K.'s digital channel E4 have easily become the most censored shows in TV history, the London Daily Mirror reported Thursday. Broadcast on a 10-minute delay to allow the station to screen conversations between the contestants in a house where TV cameras are trained on them throughout the day, the telecasts frequently include long segments in which no sound is heard at all. During one hour sampled by the Mirror, only 27 minutes was broadcast uncensored, with the sound cutting out more than 30 times. A spokesman for the British Broadcasting Standards Commission, an official watchdog, told the newspaper: "There is nothing in living memory as heavily bleeped as Big Brother." Meanwhile, contestant Penny Ellis, whose employer, a private school, has threatened to fire her after she appeared briefly in the nude during a Big Brother telecast, said Wednesday that she will be probably quit. "I would be a lunatic [to return]," she said. "I wouldn't get any work done. It's best not to go back for the safety of the kids and the structure of the school."
R-rated movies walloped by enforcement
Ticket sales for R-rated films have plummeted since movie theaters, bowing to political pressure, began tightening their enforcement of age restrictions, the Washington Post reported Thursday, citing a study by research group MarketCast. The study concluded that "significant numbers" of children under 17, especially girls, were being deterred from seeing R-rated movies. The theaters' policies, the study said, caused the recent releases The Mexican, starring Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt, and Angel Eyes, starring Jennifer Lopez, to lose a major share of the audience that ordinarily would have been attracted to them, the study said. It estimated that the movie Tomcats, from Joe Roth's Revolution Studios lost 30 percent of its potential audience because of theater enforcement of age restrictions. "I think the implications are that studios will take a hard look at movies that could be cut to be PG-13," Michael Schwartz, research director at MarketCast, told the Post. "They'll ask whether the R-rated scenes will gain them enough appeal to offset the losses, especially where there is strong teen interest." Indeed, Roth told the newspaper that he would never make a movie like Tomcats again. "This is material that's mostly innately appealing to 12- to 16-year-olds, so you're really stuck."
"The Star offers Blake $100,000 to take lie test
Supermarket tabloid The Star has offered actor Robert Blake $100,000 to take a lie detector test in connection with the murder of his wife, Bonny Lee Bakley. Neither Blake nor his attorneys have responded to the offer. In an interview with Thursday's New York Post, Star editor-in-chief Tony Frost commented: "If Mr. Blake has nothing to hide, what better way is there of removing the umbrella of suspicion? ... The results of a polygraph are not admissible in a court of law, but they do go a long way to convincing the court of public opinion."
Cahners pink slips "Variety," "Broadcasting" employees
Cahners Publishing, whose trade publications include Variety and Broadcasting & Cable, said Wednesday that it is pink-slipping 140 employees, representing about 3 percent of its work force. The company also eliminated an honor-system policy of allowing employees to leave at 1: p.m. on Fridays, provided that they make up the missed time during the rest of the week. The company said that it was reacting to current economic conditions.
Wanna buy a Muppet?
EM.TV, the troubled German media company that paid $680 million for The Muppets just two years ago, may only get about $200 million if is able to unload the characters, who include Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, the New York Post observed Thursday, citing industry analysts. Chris Bryne, editor of Toy Report, told the newspaper: "The problem is that the Muppets aren't hot the way they once were. ... Any new owner will face the difficulty of trying to make all these characters relevant again." Among the possible buyers, the Post said, are Disney, Viacom and Jim Henson Productions, the Muppets' creators.
News spoof says Disney planning "enhanced edition" of "Pearl Harbor"
Newsweek magazine, in an apparent spoof of itself, began running a "Web Exclusive" on its Internet site Wednesday, saying that the Walt Disney Co. is planning to spend an additional $145 million on an "enhanced edition" of Pearl Harbor that will be "longer, louder and dumber" than the original and will be the "most historically inaccurate" movie ever made. The article said that a number of big stars will be added to the film, including the musical groups 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys "who will appear together in an exciting 'battle of the bands' sequence during which they will be struck by Japanese bombs and perish. "The sequence 'tested through the roof,'" according to the satirical piece, which Newsweek credited to "The Borowitz Report."
In Wednesday's edition of Studio Briefing, we quoted FoxNews.com's Roger Friedman as saying that Town & Country has emerged as the biggest box-office flop in history. A reader responded that 1995's Cutthroat Island, which cost $92 million to make and earned only $11 million (and, in the process, wrecked Carolco, the indie studio that made it), may rightfully claim that dubious distinction.