You might not realize that you're looking for a new favorite movie, but you are. And we've got just the movie to fill that spot: They Came Together, the latest project from Wet Hot American Summer and Role Models director David Wain. A send-up of the romantic comedy genre, the film stars Amy Poehler as the owner of a small candy shop, whose business is threatened by a major franchise that just happens to be run by Paul Rudd. Needless to say, love eventually conquers all, but there are plenty of hilarious missteps along the way. Are you on board yet? Yeah, we thought so.
Just in case the combination of Poehler, Rudd, and Wain wasn't enough to win you over, the trailer features a star-studded cast and every single rom com rope that you could possibly think of. Seriously, in the trailer alone, there's...
1. There's a montage of them falling in love that includes a stroll through Central Park, making dinner together, and goofing off in a public
2. Rudd hits Poehler in the face with a football
3. They have a confrontation in a public place
4. They bond over a general character trait they have in common
5. Their kisses are so passionate that it distracts them from the fact that they're destroying the house
6. Rudd notices a little thing about Poehler, and it's a touching moment
7. There's another, sexier woman competing for Rudd, who will break or has already broken his heart
8. Poehler goes on a terrible date with an obnoxious loser
9. Rudd gets relationship advice from his gross, sex-obsessed friend
10. Rudd's token black friend gives sensible advice
11. The whole conversation takes place during a pickup basketball game
12. Rudd has an insane, tempermental boss
13. People assume Rudd and Poehler are a couple, even though they're not
14. Two people accidentally wear matching outfits to a party
15. Poehler throws her drink in Rudd's face
16. A taxi sprays Rudd with water from a puddle, presumably while he's on his way to something important
17. A window gets broken
18. Because two adults are doing something they shouldn't be
18. Rudd does magic to impress a small child
19. Poehler wears a ridiculous outfit, presumably either for a costume party or as part of a makeover montage
20. Poehler is adorably clumsy
21. Poehler high-fives strangers on the street in celebration
22. Rudd starts a sentence with "You're pretty adorable when you..."
23. Their friends are charmed by their adorable, heartwarming totally unique relationship.
You can catch They Came Together in theaters or on VOD on June 27. We reccommend re-watching all of the Bobby Newport episodes of Parks and Recreation to tide you over in the meantime.
I know, that headline is trouble. You're always treading dangerous ground when you insist on defining what makes a good this or the right kind of that, as if there is no room for change or improvement when it comes to classic properties. Of course there is — Jason Segel's 2011 Muppet film approached the concept from an entirely different direction. It didn't hit all of its marks, but it prevailed overall in its conceit: make a movie not about Muppets, but about Muppet fandom. But Muppets Most Wanted, in absence of a clear mission statement and fueled largely by the monetary glimmers of the sequel game (the film's opening number admits this outright), has fewer marks readily available to hit. Landing in the ambiguity between the classic Muppet adventure formula and Segel's post-modern Henson appreciation party, Most Wanted feels like a failure on both counts. It doesn't know which kind of movie it wants to, or should, be. So it doesn't really be anything.
On the one hand, there's the half-cocked "get-the-band-back-together" through line, mimicking but not quite accomplishing the spirit of the 2011 picture. None of the Muppets are particularly likable or charming in this turn, and even fewer of them actually given anything to do. Kermit loses his s**t in the first act after a spat with Piggy and a barrage of insubordination from his troupe (provoked by the nefarious Dominic Badguy, Ricky Gervais), storms off in a huff, and gets swept up in a case of mistaken identity when his criminal doppelganger Constantine pulls the old switcheroo, landing Kermit in a Russian gulag. You'd think this would be a good opportunity for the second tier of Muppet favorites — Piggy, Fozzy, Gonzo, Scooter, Rowlf, et al — to go on a search and rescue... but save for a very brief sequence at the tail end of this achingly long film, none of the other Muppets are giving anything to do. They just hem and haw and perform the occasional "Indoor Running of the Bulls" while Dominic and Constantine scheme, rob banks, and bicker.
Meanwhile, Kermit has some fun in prison — a far more endearing plot that sees him befriending the merry convicts, organizing a penitentiary revue, and even winning the heart of the vicious warden Nadia (Tina Fey). If only we could spend more time with real Kermit and less time with fake Kermit and his second banana Gervais, an effectively boring pair.
On the other hand, though, there's the Muppet shtick that fans of The Great Muppet Caper and Muppet Treasure Island — and yes, The Muppet Show itself — will deem the movie's best material: CIA Agent Sam Eagle and Interpol Agent Jean Pierre Napoleon (Ty Burrell) hot on the trail of Constantine and Dominic. Here, we get a different type of Muppet movie entirely from what Segel and the A-plot in Most Wanted are opting: the old fashioned vaudeville act, with Sam standing as an independent entity from his googly-eyed brethren, on a goofy, musical prowl with Burrell that fuels the film with its best and most consistent chuckles. Their "Interrogation Song" number is outstanding, exemplifying the many talents of Flight of the Conchords' Bret McKenzie, who wrote all the music for this and the previous film.
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Unfortunately, Muppets Most Wanted isn't sure that it wants to be The Great Muppet Caper, beheld so stubbornly to its Segelian roots. There's a palpable compulsion to stick with this agonizingly self-aware, nostalgia-crazy, brimming-beacons-of-the-past-in-a-callous-today theme that doesn't work a fraction as well as it did in the 2011 film. Without a legitimate celebration of any of our favorite characters, how could it? With so much going on in this movie, and such a lengthy runtime at just under two hours, it's a sure sign of failure that we walk away feeling like we spent barely any time with the Muppets.
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Top Story: Whitney Houston in Rehab Center
Whitney Houston, who told Diane Sawyer on ABC's Primetime in December 2002 that she had gotten away from her drug usage through prayer, is undergoing treatment in a drug rehabilitation clinic, The Associated Press reports. A spokesman said the singer "thanks everyone for their support and prayers" but declined to offer any further details. Houston, 40, lives in Atlanta with her husband, R&B singer Bobby Brown, and their 10-year-old daughter, Bobbi Kristina. Life in the Houston-Brown household, however, has always been far from humdrum. Last month, Brown was sentenced to 60 days' jail time for violating probation. One of the violations was for allegedly hitting Houston last December, leaving her with a bruised cheek and a cut lip. Houston has also had her shares of run-ins with the law. In January 2000, she lost a bag at Hawaii's Keahole Kona International Airport that contained less than half an ounce of marijuana and three partially smoked marijuana cigarettes. But the drug possession charges were dropped after a drug counselor said the singer did not need treatment for substance abuse.
Sheen, Richards Proud Parents
Charlie Sheen and wife Denise Richards became parents to their first child, daughter Sam Sheen, Tuesday in Los Angeles, Reuters reports. The baby weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces at birth, and both mother and daughter "are doing great," Sheen's publicist said in a statement issued Monday. Sheen, 38, who currently stars on the hit CBS comedy Two and a Half Men, has a 19-year-old daughter, Cassandra, from a previous relationship. It is the first child for Richards, 33, who was last seen in the horror spoof Scary Movie 3.
Paris and Nicole Take Show on the Road
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have loaded up their pink pickup truck in Miami Beach, Fla., and are headed to Beverly Hills, Calif., in a road trip to be documented for The Simple Life 2--the follow-up to the hit Fox reality show The Simple Life. Here, the socialites-turned-TV stars are driving themselves on a 30-day cross-country trip with no money, credit cards, cell phones or boyfriends and will stay with several different families, the AP reports. Filming is expected to begin in the next few days with the eight episodes set to air in June.
Jada Pinkett Smith Tours With Britney Spears
Jada Pinkett Smith, who stars in the upcoming thriller Collateral opposite Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx, is moonlighting as a singer. MTV.com reports that Pinkett Smith will open for all eight of Britney Spears' Onyx Hotel Tour shows in the U.K. beginning on April 27 in London with her band Wicked Wisdom. Wicked Wisdom, which formed about a year ago, does not yet have an album out yet but the group frequently plays the Los Angeles club circuit. Collateral, which is set for release Aug. 6, was helmed by Michael Mann, who directed Pinkett Smith and husband Will Smith in the 2001 biopic Ali.
Sugar Ray Leonard Joins The Contender
Five-time world boxing champion Sugar Ray Leonard will be joining Sylvester Stallone in the upcoming NBC reality show The Contender. The series, developed by Survivor creator Mark Burnett, DreamWorks SKG co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg and Stallone, features aspiring boxers vying for $1 million in prize money and a shot at becoming America's next boxing superstar. According to Reuters, Leonard, 47, will serve with Stallone as an on-air adviser and mentor to aspiring boxers competing on the show. The 16-part series is scheduled to debut sometime next season.
Prince Inducted Into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Prince, who will launch his 38-city Musicology tour March 29 in Los Angeles, was among eight musicians inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Monday in New York. Others honored at the 19th annual induction were the late George Harrison, Texas group ZZ Top, singer-songwriter Jackson Browne, English rock-jazz fusion band Traffic, rocker Bob Seger, R & B vocal group The Dells and Rolling Stone magazine co-founder Jann Wenner, The Purple One kicked off the festivities with a performance of "Let's Go Crazy," "Sign O' The Times," and "Kiss," that, according to Reuters, brought the formally dressed audience in the ballroom of the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel to its feet.
Geffen Victorious in Guns N' Roses Album Dispute
U.S. District Judge Dale Fischer cleared the way yesterday for Geffen Records to release a greatest hits album next week from the rock band Guns N' Roses over the objection of its lead singer, Axl Rose. Rose had argued that he did not give consent for Geffen to release a new greatest hits compilation, which consists of 14 singles including "Welcome to the Jungle," "Sweet Child O' Mine" and a cover of the Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" from the Interview With the Vampire soundtrack, and objected to the selection of songs, the timing of its release, the album's artwork and the remastering of the original tapes. A spokesman for Universal Music called the lawsuit meritless and said the album will be released as scheduled on March 23.
Role Call: Gurinder Chadha Takes Nine Wives
Bend It Like Beckham director Gurinder Chadha will helm the romantic comedy Nine Wives for New Line. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the project is about a commitment-phobic guy who breaks up with his longtime girlfriend and wakes up every morning with a different wife. Chadha, who is just completing the Bollywood musical Bride and Prejudice, is also developing I Dream of Jeannie at Columbia and Tucker Ames at Fox 2000.