Just in time for Christmas comes Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel a giant furry lump of coal in the stockings of fans of quality filmmaking everywhere. The latest episode which picks up soon after 2007’s absurdly successful live action/CGI hybrid Alvin and the Chipmunks finds the titular singing rodents on uncertain ground after their manager/guardian Dave Seville (Jason Lee) is injured in a freak concert accident. (In a gimmick lifted right out of Revenge of the Nerds II he spends the entire film in the hospital bedridden.)
Dave’s befuddled substitute a videogame-obsessed ne’er-do-well named Toby (Zachary Levi wielding a strained slacker schtick even less convincing than his bumbling geek act in Chuck) is ill-suited to helping Alvin Simon and Theodore handle the rigors of high school or deal with the challenge of a rival all-female singing chipmunk trio the Chipettes. With dissension in the ranks and a decisive battle of the bands looming the three brothers must find a way to overcome their differences and rekindle the magic that first propelled them to the top of the charts.
In theory adding a girl group to the mix roughly doubles the selection of songs to choose from but the actual singing and dancing in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel presumably the whole point of this tedious exercise feels greatly reduced in comparison to the first film. (I wouldn’t know for sure — I’ll be damned if I sit through another screening torturous screening of it.) Which depending on your perspective may not be a bad thing. Personally I found it to be a double-edged sword: Fewer excruciating squeaky-voiced covers of songs like “We Are Family” and Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” means more room for lame jokes and awful acting both of which can be found in ample amounts.
As with its predecessor this Squeakuel is the perfect movie for those who find Teletubbies and Dora the Explorer a little too highbrow.
Author Stephanie Meyer unleashed a phenomenon with her Twilight novels a teen vampire romance that has spurned a teen cult following. The good news is the movie is surprisingly just as potent -- a spellbinding terribly romantic hypnotic and entertaining film. At its heart are the elements that make any teen drama work; in this case it’s forbidden love. It starts with 16 year-old Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) who relocates from her sunny Phoenix to the cold gray foreboding atmosphere of Forks Washington to live with her father. At her new high school she meets the incredibly attractive but mysterious Cullen clan including the allusive Edward (Robert Pattinson) who immediately intrigues her. What she doesn’t know yet is that Edward and his “family” are a group of vegetarian vampires who drink only animal blood and must live in the terminally cloudy region of Northwest. Edward tries to drive a determined Bella away by revealing his true identity but soon realizes she is the girl of his dreams. But as the two begin their complicated romance things get dicey when another group of um meat-lovin’ vampires target Bella. Teen Beat should clear their covers for a new group of stars sure to become huge with the female teen set -- and probably their mothers as well. Exuding a brooding reserve and air of mystery the follicley-endowed Robert Pattinson is reminiscent of James Dean and completely believable as a conflicted bloodsucker who becomes dangerously attracted to a mere mortal. His Edward’s unpredictable nature becomes irresistible for the attractive Kristen Stewart’s Bella as she grows closer to him despite his attempts to keep her at arm’s length. Not since Baby yearned for Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing has there been such an effective pairing for the acne-challenged set. Pattinson and Stewart simmer with teen angst and desire and could be the next big thing -- especially if there are more Twilight sequels to follow. The Cullen clan led by foster parents Peter Facinelli and Elizabeth Reaser is perfectly cast with a good looking bunch of vampiric thesps including newcomers Ashley Green Kellan Lutz Jackson Rathbone and Nikki Reed. Red-headed Rachelle LeFevre as bad vamp Victoria is ideal along with Cam Gigandet and Edi Gathegi as the guys in her group of nomadic vampires. Director Catherine Hardwicke has certainly shown she understands the ever-changing moods of youth with her previous efforts (Thirteen Lords of Dogtown). But those flicks were just warm-ups for what she taps into with Twilight. She creates a wonderful creepy kind of muted dark and cloudy society with imposing camera angles and aching teen lust from her bright red-lipped hormonally charged leads. And thankfully she leaves the fangs on the cutting room floor. These vampires are actually relatable and Hardwick takes what could have been an awful juvenile programmer and lifts it into a different league creating not only a movie that should cross over beyond it’s target demo but one that makes us genuinely excited for the inevitable sequels.