The God of Legion secular Hollywood’s latest Biblically-inspired action flick is old-school an angry spiteful Almighty with a penchant for Old Testament theatrics. Fed up with humanity’s decadent warmongering ways He’s decided to pull the plug on the whole crazy experiment and start over from scratch.
Fortunately for us the God of Legion is also a rather lazy fellow. Instead of doing the apocalyptic work himself and wiping us out with a giant flood which worked perfectly well last time He opts to delegate the task to His army of angels — a questionable strategy that starts to fall apart when the archangel charged with leading the planned extermination Michael (Paul Bettany) refuses to comply.
Michael who unlike his boss still harbors affection for our sorry species abandons his post and descends to earth where inside the swollen belly of Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) an unwed mother-to-be working as a waitress in an out-of-the-way diner sits humanity’s lone hope for survival. Why is this particular baby so important? Is it the one destined to lead us to victory over Skynet? Heaven knows — Legion reveals little details its script devoid of actual scripture. What is clear is that God’s celestial hitmen want the kid whacked before it’s born.
But Michael won’t let humanity fall without a fight. Armed with a Waco-sized arsenal of assault weapons he hunkers down with the diner’s patrons a largely superfluous collection of thinly-sketched caricatures from various demographic groups led by Dennis Quaid as the diner’s grizzled owner Tyrese Gibson as a hip-hop hustler and Lucas Black as a simple-minded country boy.
Together they mount a heroic final stand against hordes of angels who’ve taken possession of “weak-willed” humans turning kindly old grandmas and mild-mannered ice cream vendors into snarling ravenous foul-mouthed beasts. They descend upon the ramshackle diner in a series of full-frontal assaults commanded by the archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) the George Pickett of End of Days generals.
Beneath its superficial religious facade Legion is really just a run-of-the-mill zombie flick a Biblical I Am Legend. Bettany an actor accustomed to smaller dramatic roles in films like A Beautiful Mind and The Da Vinci Code looks perfectly at ease in his first major action role wielding machine guns and bowie knives with equal aplomb. Conversely first-time director Scott Stewart a former visual effects artist does little to prove himself worthy of such a promotion serving up some impressive CGI work but not much else worthy of note.
George Clooney is reportedly dating a young actress and bartender he met while working on the set of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind in Montreal, Canada. According to Canada's National Post, the 40-year-old actor has been meeting Maria Bertrand, 27, at the Globe restaurant, a hot spot for celebs shooting films in the city. However, Bertrand's agent Cha Cha DaVinci insists the stars are just friends who enjoy being with each other. Bertrand, who has a small part in the movie, was on the set of Dangerous Mind Thursday to shoot a sequence with Matt Damon and Brad Pitt. The film is based on the life of game-show host Chuck Barris, who claimed to be a CIA hit man.
Film critics Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper had planned to review movie trailers at the annual ShoWest conference in Las Vegas but hit a wall because studios wouldn't give them any trailers. Ebert and Roeper instead griped about trailers in general, saying they were too loud, too long and give out too much about the plot, Reuters reports. Ebert, who recently underwent surgery, also complained about the state of modern theaters, asking, "Is it possible to sell anything at the concession stand that doesn't kill?"
Audiences will have to wait until next week to watch knee whacker Tonya Harding and presidential scandalmonger Paula Jones duke it out. While the Fox network's Celebrity Boxing was taped Thursday, the event will not be broadcast until next Wednesday, the Associated Press reports. Also set to face off in the ring are Danny Bonaduce versus Barry Williams, and Vanilla Ice against Todd Bridges.
William Baldwin, Paul Sorvino and Valerie Harper plan to build a movie studio in Trenton, N.J.'s abandoned factories. The three met with state lawmakers Thursday in a bid to gain support for the project, which they say would generate $100 million in taxable revenues and bring hundreds of jobs for construction workers, hairdressers, tailors and dry cleaners.
Glenn Close, Matthew Modine and Stephen Fry are the latest additions to the cast of James Ivory's Le Divorce. According to Variety, the film is a comedy about two American sisters confronted with the decadence of French bourgeois society. The film, which begins shooting Monday in Paris, also stars Naomi Watts, Kate Hudson, Stockard Channing and James Waterston.
Former NYPD Blue star David Caruso is leaving what he calls the "cynical, hard-core energy" of Los Angeles for Miami Beach, AP reports. Caruso, who owns a $1 million South Beach condo with his wife, will co-own a clothing and home furnishings store.
The Screen Actors Guild rerun election is heading into its final week, with mud slinging at an all-time high. Melissa Gilbert won the election in January, but a SAG election committee ordered a rerun election when rival Valerie Harper alleged balloting irregularities. Ballots mailed out last month are due back March 8.
Mariah Carey may have found something useful to do with the $28 million pay-off she received from Virgin Records recently. According to Miami's Power 96 radio station, the currently un-signed singer wants to have a semi-independent subsidiary label of her own. A spokesperson for Carey said she is meeting with a number of labels and looking into a variety of possibilities.
Rumors are circulating that Green Day will induct the Ramones in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on March 18 at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in New York. Launch.com interviewed Johnny Ramone, who said he would love to be ushered in by Green Day frontman Billy Joe, but nothing has been officially confirmed. Singer Jewel, who may or may not perform, will also be inducting Brenda Lee.