Earlier today, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced they would be getting a divorce after five years of marriage. In a society built on basic humanity, news of any longtime romantic pair's splitting would be treated with a somber mood and, perhaps, best wishes to both parties involved. However, we do not live in such a world. We live in a world with Twitter.
After quite a while perusing the social networking site to get a taste of how the public was reacting to Cruise's and Holmes' split, a pattern became apparent. For, after immersing itself in the deepest, darkest knolls of the Twitterverse, Hollywood.com couldn't come across a single Tweet about Tom and Katie that was not making fun of their divorce.
Whether you find this to be shameful or entertaining, it's simply the turn our society has taken. So here it is: just a sample of the mass of Cruise/Holmes hate that is encompassing the Internet.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing? But they pretended to be so happy!— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) June 29, 2012
That awkward moment when you find out Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced, and you're just surprised they lasted this long.— That Awkward Moment (@SoVeryAwkward) June 29, 2012
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing. Probably because he makes Luna Lovegood look sane.— The Dark Lord (@Lord_Voldemort7) June 29, 2012
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce, apparently she wants a guy who she doesn't have to kneel down to talk to.— Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) June 29, 2012
If Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can't make it work, what chance do the rest of us have? A pretty excellent one.— Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) June 29, 2012
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing. Holmes says it's because he jumped on too many women's couches.— Spencer Althouse (@SpencerAlthouse) June 29, 2012
CNN reporting Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes happily celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary. #developing— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) June 29, 2012
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing. Apparently, she's a huge Jack Reacher fan and has just seen the trailer. #harsh #cruel— Marcus Woolcott (@Gyropitus) June 29, 2012
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes finally decided that pretending to be in love was 'Mission: Impossible'.— Darth Vader (@DepressedDarth) June 29, 2012
CNN just reported Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting married! #congrats— Shawn Garrett (@ShawnGarrett) June 29, 2012
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Crystal Lake. Dumb kids in the woods. Sex drugs booze. A hulking maniac in a hockey mask wielding a machete. Yeah that about sums it up.
Are you kidding? The new Jason Derek Mears probably fares best among the actors because he doesn’t have a single word of dialogue. Everyone else unfortunate enough to stumble in front of the camera – Jared Padalecki Amanda Righetti Danielle Panabaker Travis Van Winkle – is basically fodder for the slaughter. Some of them get naked. Most of them get dead. Some die more gorily than others. No one dies quickly enough. Having previously (and woefully) directed the 2003 remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre helmer Marcus Nispel does his best – and worst – to resurrect yet another popular horror franchise from the past. He also adds absolutely nothing new to the formula. Quite frankly anyone could’ve directed this film. Judging by the results anyone did. This is the 12th Friday the 13th film for those keeping score at home and with any luck it’ll be the last. Of course it won’t be. But we can always hope.
In the tradition of a classic Disney-esque animated fairy tale The Tale of Despereaux based on the award winning children’s classic by Kate DiCamillo is about a mouse named Despereaux (Matthew Broderick) with Dumbo-sized ears and an oversized heart. His home the Kingdom of Dor was once a happy place but now due to unexpected events it has been shrouded by doom and gloom. Not for Despereaux! The fearless rodent doesn’t adhere to the usual mouse-like criteria but instead yearns for adventure especially after he starts reading fables from the castle library. He also bonds with Princess Pea (Emma Watson) who is sad and lonely her kingdom is in such disarray. Despereaux looks at her as a damsel in distress and wants to help. Unfortunately these are all serious no-nos in Mouseworld and so Despereaux is banished him to live in the dungeon with the evil Rats where he meets an agreeable rat Roscuro (Dustin Hoffman) who is also different from his kind. Roscuro wants to right some past wrongs but is spurned by the princess. Needless to say things do indeed go awry and Despereaux must summon all his courage and bravery to save the day. Some of the best ensemble casts in movies are being assembled for animated features these days and The Tale of Despereaux is a prime example. Broderick is ideal as the dignified and ultimately courageous little mouse. Hoffman -- in his second ‘toon turn of the year (Kung Fu Panda) -- proves again as the soup-loving Roscuro he has a real future as an animated character. Harry Potter’s Watson has the perfunctory English princess role but plays it with compassion while Tracey Ullman as maid-cum-wannabe princess Mig doesn’t go for the laughs but portrays Mig as a hopeful outcast looking for a fairy tale ending to her humdrum life. A whole set of other wonderful vocal talents in Despereaux include Kevin Kline Frank Langella Richard Jenkins Stanley Tucci William H. Macy Robbie Coltrane and Christopher Lloyd. And to top it off with just the right touch of whimsy is the lilting narration of Sigourney Weaver whose comforting voice will assure the youngest kids in the audience that things in Dor aren’t quite as dire as they appear. Co-directors Sam Fell and Rob Stevenhagen invest into this gorgeous-looking film all the care that went into the art of DiCamillo’s beautiful book. In fact unlike many other recent animated features Despereaux is distinctly old-fashioned despite all the CGI. The look of the movie is definitely inspired by older more traditional Disney-style fairy tale classics. Gary Ross’ (Seabiscuit) fine screenplay is reverential to the book and doesn’t back away from the darker aspects of the story which despite its G rating might be a little on the scary side for the very young ones. For everyone else The Tale of Despereaux is most likely this season’s must-see movie event for the entire family.