Not every romantic comedy can be an Annie Hall or even a There's Something About Mary, but some, if not most, seem to be completely devoid of both romance AND comedy. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day -- and the amount of “Best Romantic Comedies of All Time!!” lists that have already been hashed and rehashed ad nauseam -- we take a look at the rom-coms that are so lazy, they miss both of the genre’s titular elements.
Good Luck Chuck
With Dane Cook in the lead role, it was immediately clear that this so-called romantic comedy would be very light on comedy. But Cook’s failure as a comic actor pales in comparison to his inability at making movie romance believable -- and let’s be honest, Jessica Alba didn’t help matters (nor did her insistence on being the only clothed actress in the movie). Chuck was nothing more than a gratuitously vulgar attempt at a Dane Cook vehicle, and luckily it proved that Dane Cook is not capable of operating a vehicle.
Only funny in how bad it is and only romantic in that director Guy Ritchie basically did a favor for his then-wife Madonna, Swept Away is probably the trough of 21st-century romantic comedies. Madonna and Adriano Giannini stumble, fumble and bumble, chemistry-free, through the romantic scenes, sex or no sex, and any bit of intended humor, satirical or broad, was clearly lost on everybody -- including the movie-going public.
Dismiss it as an action-adventure-thriller-comedy all you want -- truth is, Fool’s Gold is a rom-com at heart, aiming to capitalize on the lucrative “chemistry” displayed by Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey five years earlier in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. The results were atrocious, with no manner of physicality, be it in the pratfall or romance department, working in any fashion and McConauhudson turning in career-worst performances. Not that their A games -- or 250 more cameos from McConaughey’s bare chest -- would’ve been able to salvage such a ridiculous concept, but still.
Their brief off-screen romance was very difficult to believe, but at least Ben Affleck and J. Lo appeared to possess some sort of opposites-attract chemistry. The same most certainly cannot be said for Gigli, THE cinematic punch line of an entire decade. To say it wasn’t a straightaway romantic comedy is something of a cop-out and only true to a certain degree, as it was more so a case of director Martin Brest not knowing what he wanted the movie to be. It’s safe to assume he didn’t want it to be romantic or funny, either.
The modern-day poster child of rom-com awfulness -- and How to Succeed at the Box Office Without Really Trying -- Valentine’s Day’s A-list laundry list brought out Julia Roberts fiends (and perhaps their reluctant boyfriends) in droves. But there was scarcely, if ever, a moment of romance (or even a wholehearted attempt thereof) -- or a scene at which a single non-star-struck moviegoer would chuckle. Maybe the sequel, New Year's Eve, will fare rom-commier. Kidding.
Should Be Placed on Five Years’ Rom-Com Probation: Sarah Jessica Parker, Freddie Prinze Jr. (apparently Hollywood agrees!), Jennifer Aniston, Matthew McConaughey, Gerard Butler, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Kate Hudson and Jennifer Lopez.
Andy Bird, a broke aspiring director who dated pop icon Madonna for 18 months beginning in 1997, is now speaking to the press. Bird told Scotland's Sunday Mail that he supported the Material Girl's decision to abort their baby. Bird also said the couple split because he couldn't handle the attention that Madonna's fame brought. Apparently, he's a much stronger man now--or he's broke again.
Carol Burnett's daughter, Carrie Hamilton, passed away at the age of 38 on Sunday. The actress (TV's Fame) died at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles due to complications from cancer.
The Estefans--singer Gloria and husband Emilio--have been granted a temporary restraining order against Juan Carlos Diaz, who claims Emilio has sexually harassed and threatened him. Judge Deborah White-Labora did not comply with Diaz's request for a reciprocal TRO against Emilio, but did say she'd ask the elevators in the courthouse to stop playing Gloria's music.
The Toronto-based company Chum, which runs the music channel MuchMusic, has filed a complaint with the Canadian Radio-Television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), stating that rival MTV Canada is playing too many music videos, Variety reports. It's alleged that MTV Canada is violating their license agreement, predicated on the station's playing a maximum of 10 percent music videos. Memo fro Hollywood.com to MuchMusic: When MTV Canada airs videos featuring Britney Spears, they really don't count as "music" videos.
The 63-year-old agreement that restricts the activities of talent agents is nearing the end of its 15-month termination phase, and the Screen Actors Guild (SAG), which monitors the pact, is in frantic negotiations with agents. Primarily the pact prevents agents from acting as producers. The problem is, no one can figure out what it is producers actually do.
Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has regained hearing in one ear after receiving a cochlear implant. Limbaugh became profoundly deaf due to an autoimmune disorder. Either that, or due to listening to his own pusillanimous diatribe lo these many years.
Mike Tyson is being sued for divorce again, PageSix.com reports. Monica Tyson filed the requisite papers with Maryland officials Thursday. The second-year medical resident cited Iron Mike's penchant for the ladies as one reason for the split. Another being that when Mike nibbles on her ear he tells she tastes "just like Evander Holyfield."
The New York Post has calculated 21 TV stars' per-viewer salaries--and the results may surprise you. All My Children's Susan Lucci proved to be the biggest bargain at 23 cents per viewer, though Lucci earns $1 million per season for her work at ABC. And Katie Couric, despite her recent $65 million contract extension, logs in at only $2.82 per viewer. Hollywood.com has computed that Larry King (an incredibly high $5.78 per viewer) is still a bigger bargain than Drew Carey ($300,000 per viewer), as only four people actually watch The Drew Carey Show.
A ruby-encrusted, sterling silver and gold saddle owned by the late Roy Rogers was sold at auction for $412,000 Saturday. Hundreds of Czech rubies decorate the saddle, which was made using 1,400 ounces of silver and 136 ounces of gold. The anonymous winner was heard muttering, "No one told me the horse was sold separately."