Summit via Everett Collection
You can imagine that Renny Harlin, director and one quadrant of the writing team for The Legend of Hercules, began his pitch as such: We'll start with a war, because lots of these things start with wars. It feels like this was the principal maxim behind a good deal of the creative choices in this latest update of the Ancient Greek myth. There are always horse riding scenes. There are generally arena battles. There are CGI lions, when you can afford 'em. Oh, and you've got to have a romantic couple canoodling at the base of a waterfall. Weaving them all together cohesively would be a waste of time — just let the common threads take form in a remarkably shouldered Kellan Lutz and action sequences that transubstantiate abjectly to and fro slow-motion.
But pervading through Lutz's shirtless smirks and accent continuity that calls envy from Johnny Depp's Alice in Wonderland performance is the obtrusive lack of thought that went into this picture. A proverbial grab bag of "the basics" of the classic epic genre, The Legend of Hercules boasts familiarity over originality. So much so that the filmmakers didn't stop at Hercules mythology... they barely started with it, in fact. There's more Jesus Christ in the character than there is the Ancient Greek demigod, with no lack of Gladiator to keep things moreover relevant. But even more outrageous than the void of imagination in the construct of Hercules' world is its script — a piece so comically dim, thin, and idiotic that you will laugh. So we can't exactly say this is a totally joyless time at the movies.
Summit via Everett Collection
Surrounding Hercules, a character whose arc takes him from being a nice enough strong dude to a nice enough strong dude who kills people and finally owns up to his fate — "Okay, fine, yes, I guess I'm a god" — are a legion of characters whose makeup and motivations are instituted in their opening scenes and never change thereafter. His de facto stepdad, the teeth-baring King Amphitryon (Scott Adkins), despises the boy for being a living tribute to his supernatural cuckolding; his half-brother Iphicles (Liam Garrigan) is the archetypical scheming, neutered, jealous brother figure right down to the facial scar. The dialogue this family of mongoloids tosses around is stunningly brainless, ditto their character beats. Hercules can't understand how a mystical stranger knows his identity, even though he just moments ago exited a packed coliseum chanting his name. Iphicles defies villainy and menace when he threatens his betrothed Hebe (Gaia Weiss), long in love with Hercules, with the terrible fate of "accepting [him] and loving [their] children equally!" And the dad... jeez, that guy must really be proud of his teeth.
With no artistic feat successfully accomplished (or even braved, really) by this movie, we can at the very least call it inoffensive. There is nothing in The Legend of Hercules with which to take issue beyond its dismal intellect, and in a genre especially prone to regressive activity, this is a noteworthy triumph. But you might not have enough energy by the end to award The Legend of Hercules with this superlative. Either because you'll have laughed yourself into a coma at the film's idiocy, or because you'll have lost all strength trying to fend it off.
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UPDATE: According to Cpl. Kay Lester of the Fulton County police, Kelly's death "may have been a possible drug overdose," Fox News reports. Kelly's mother, Donna Kelly Pratt, has released the following statement in regards to her son's death (via Buzzfeed):
"It is with deep sadness that we announce that our beloved Chris Kelly has passed away on May 1. To millions of fans worldwide, he was the trendsetting, backwards pants-wearing one-half of Kris Kross who loved making music. But to us, he was just Chris — the kind, generous and fun-loving life of the party. Though he was only with us a short time, we feel blessed to have been able to share some incredible moments with him. His legacy will live on through his music, and we will forever love him."
EARLIER: Chris Kelly, one half of the popular 90s rap duo Kriss Kross, has passed away. He was 34 years old. Hollywood.com confirmed the news with the Fulton County Medical Examiner's office, but an official comment was unavailable.
According to a report from the Associated Press, Kelly was reportedly pronounced dead on the south campus of the Atlanta Medical Center at 5PM EST on Wednesday after being found unresponsive at his home. No further details were provided.
Kelly performed in the popular group alongside his friend Chris Smith as a young child in the early 90s, even scoring a chart-topping hit, "Jump" from their 1992 debut album "Totally Krossed Out." Kelly was more commonly known as Mac Daddy, while Smith was Daddy Mac. The two were discovered by popular producer/artist Jermaine Dupri at a shopping mall in the group's hometown of Atlanta, Georgia. In their short career, the men (who were young children at the time) performed with Michael Jackson, and were featured in the music videos of popular groups Run D.M.C and TLC. The pair recently reunited for the So So Def (the record label started by Dupri) 20th Anniversary concert earlier in 2013.
From Our Partners:Beyonce Flaunts Bikini Bod for H&M (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
On Revenge characters Amanda (or Emily, we can never tell) and Daniel are cruising for a breakup, but it looks like things are heating up for Emily VanCamp and Josh Bowman, the actors that play the roles. They were all lovey-dovey (and hanky-panky) by the pool at the Beach Club Sea Lounge in Monaco yesterday where Josh rubbed an ice cube on her chest (dirty) and they made out in their lounge chairs and while swimming in the pool like they play Kelly and Dylan on 90210 and not Amanda and Daniel on Revenge. Thank god the PDA Police were out to lunch, but if I was in Monaco with a beautiful date, I'd probably get more than a little frisky too.
Bowman was previously linked to the late Amy Winehouse and this is VanCamp's third relationship with a costar, following her Everwood costar Chris Pratt (who is now married to Anna Faris) and her Brothers & Sisters sibling turned fiance Dave Anable (who is now married to actress Odette Yustman). Well, if the third time isn't a charm, it's at least charming.
[Photo Credit: FameFlynet Pictures]
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
More: VanCamp 'dating co-star Bowman' Photos: See Daniel Propose to Emily on 'Revenge' All the Mysteries 'Revenge' Needs to Solve
Some men love bragging about how many women they've had sex with. I imagine that in their minds it's the higher the number, the greater the manhood. It's a ridiculous belief system, but men will be men, right? Well apparently not all men are as anxious to reveal their secret number -- not even to their significant other. Anna Faris claims that her husband, Chris Pratt, refuses to tell her how many women he's slept with. But the actress doesn't seem all that stressed about not having that private information, revealing, "My husband won't tell me his number, and I think it is probably a really good policy." She's probably right -- no use digging up the past if you're happy with the present. Knowing your loved one's number isn't always for the best.
Speaking of numbers, the What's Your Number? star shared the number of kids she and her hubby would like to have one day. She proclaims, "I would love to have eight!" but adds that, I don't think I could handle it, though!" Faris does admit though that they might be expanding their family sooner rather than later. Faris confesses, "I don't know...maybe in the next few years. We want to populate!" So it looks like Anna's love life has never been better. Now if she could only get her husband to change the toilet paper roll. She jokingly commented, "What is wrong with men about the refllling of the toilet paper? Why does that never happen?" That's a question I think all women would like answered.
Click on the image below for more photos of Anna Faris.
S1E3: Ringer is trucking right along, ramping up the drama at every turn. It’s now been established that Bridget is going to continue pretending to be Siobhan. She’s been a little back and forth about the whole thing, but she finally decides that she wants to stop running. But you know what that means: trouble is just going to have an easier time finding her. I mean, she just started living her sister’s life and she’s already got one dead body on her hands -- a dead body which has since gone missing. Don’t you just hate when that happens? Then again, she’s got the dead man's cell phone – and we've seen how helpful that’s turned out to be so far.
And how about that twin sister of hers? Oh, Siobhan, when are you going to get more screen time? We saw a little more of her tonight, but not nearly as much as I would like. It’s going to be so much more confusing if she becomes more involved in the plot since I have a hard enough time telling the sisters apart as it is, but I think it’ll really add even more suspense to an already gripping show. But for the time being we still have a lot on our Ringer plot plate. Things have gotten a little tense between Bridget and Andrew after she uncovers some information about him. Agent Machado continues on his seemingly never-ending quest to find Bridget. Have you ever spent an insane amount of time trying to find your keys when you realize they’ve been in your hand the whole time? I can’t wait to see his reaction when he finds out that what he’s been looking for has been right in front of him the entire time. And then we’ve got Henry and Gemma arguing over an investment -- I guess they’ve decided to put that little cheating problem on the back burner for now. And then there's Malcolm, who was just injected with a whole new set of problems of his own.
“I have the dead man’s cell phone.” – Bridget
Bridget now has the dead hitman’s cell phone, which could be very helpful in finding out who is trying to kill Siobhan, but there’s only one little problem: she’s unable to track the calls or learn about any transactions made over that phone without the help of the police. So, for right now she’s at a dead head (so to speak) at uncovering more to that particular riddle. She does, however, discover a framed photo of Andrew and Siobhan, which happens to match the cropped picture that the dead man had on him when she shot him. This, of course, makes her believe that Andrew is behind the hit. When she relays this information to Malcolm he smartly reminds her that she has no proof of this and tells her to find the connection between the phone and Andrew before jumping to conclusions.
Right after getting off the phone with Bridget, Malcolm is knocked out and taken to see the mob boss who's after Bridget: Bodaway Macawi. The mobsters beat Malcolm up pretty badly and when he refuses to tell them any information about Bridget’s whereabouts, they inject him with drugs. Just to remind everyone, he’s a recovering drug addict -- so this is definitely not good.
“You killed our mutual friend in your loft.” – Mystery Man on the phone
Henry wants to withdraw an investment from Andrew’s firm and we’re not really sure why yet, but Andrew’s partner doesn’t allow it and coyly has Gemma find out about her husband’s actions. This immediately puts an end to any withdrawals. Henry isn't too happy about his wife’s constant control of their money, so he lashes out at Andrew and storms out.
During the day, the dead man’s phone rings, so Bridget answers it and a man admits that he knows she killed someone. He orders her to place the phone down on the bench nearby and walk away. (Big Brother is watching!) She does what he says, but then quickly changes her mind and walks away with the phone in-hand.
When she’s back at her place (or rather, her sister’s place), Bridget finds a business card for Aubrey Zimmerman, a big time divorce lawyer, in her sister’s planner. She goes there to investigate what her sister was up to there and the lawyer said that he got the impression she was scared of her husband last time she visited. He also thinks Andrew was trying to alter the deed to an apartment on Pratt Street by making it look like it didn’t cost as much as it actually does, so that way if they were to get divorced she wouldn’t get as much money. So Siobhan’s husband has been potentially violent with her in the past and he may be trying to cheat her out of money -- this definitely supports her suspicions that he wants her dead. She goes to investigate, but Andrew confronts her about going to see a divorce attorney. He claims the Pratt Street place is worthless and thought they were threw playing games with each other. When she goes to visit the apartment it appears to be a dump and it seems Andrew was telling the truth. But she’s not alone – the man that passed by her when she opened up the trunk to remove the dead man’s cell phone is there waiting for her. He wants the phone (this must be the mystery man who called her earlier and disposed of the body), but Bridget runs away from him and escapes into a cab.
“I just bought myself some insurance.” - Bridget
Scared and unsure of what to do next, Bridget calls Agent Machado. Little is actually accomplished by this little rendezvous, but he admits that he knows a lot about her -- her affair with Henry, the money withdrawal she took out of her bank account the other day -- so you know he’s bound to get suspicious sometime soon. The dead man’s cell phone rings again (man, that's a lot of phone calls – is this why the show is called Ringer?), but this time Bridget is the one doing the threatening. She says that if he comes after her then she’ll turn the cell phone over to the police, which will lead them directly to him. This is a nice idea, but I’m not sure she thought this all the way through. Couldn’t he just simply kill her and take the cell phone that way? Unless she plans on hiding it somewhere that he couldn’t easily find, but that would also mean the cops wouldn’t be able to easily find it either. She may want to have a back-up plan.
“If we’re going to move forward then I have to stop listening to other people and trust you.” – Bridget to Andrew
While visiting with Gemma later on that day, Bridget finds that same photo of Andrew and Siobhan around Gemma’s house. Turns out it was their holiday card last Christmas, so now she’s not as worried that it’s Andrew trying to kill her. So she explains the whole divorce attorney visit, saying that she had met with them months ago when they were having problems, but she went over there today to end it because she wants to work things out. Andrew is truly touched by her genuine sentiments and wants them to be completely honest with each other from now on. We’ll see how well that plan goes.
And the episode ends as it always does, with a quick glimpse into the real Siobhan’s actions. She was previously seen in her hotel room and making out with some guy she met at the bar, but suddenly felt sick and asked him to leave. (By the way, does Sarah Michelle Gellar get paid double for playing two main characters?) Anyway, she ends up calling Henry -- but doesn't say a word -- while holding a positive pregnancy test in her hand. I wonder how this will affect her mysterious plans now that she knows she’ll be eating for two.
Just over two weeks since Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced their split after seven years of marriage, the American Idol judge has decided to open up in the September issue of Vanity Fair. J-Lo confesses that she wasn't being treated properly anymore in the marriage saying, "Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves.To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself – if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me." The gorgeous singer claims that both her and Marc seriously tried to make the marriage work, but it just wasn't meant to be. "Sometimes it doesn’t work – and that's sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love." Lopez claims to be looking forward to the challenges ahead and plans on being the best mother, entertainer, and person she can be. As for her remaining feelings for her ex, "He will always be in our lives. He will always hold a special place in my heart as the father of my children." Now the biggest question remains: how many of J-Lo's assets are his? - People
Apparently, Charlie Sheen is applying for Saint-hood because he's taking a special interest in getting his ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, the best rehab money can buy -- and he's footing the bill for her treatment. Sources close to Sheen claim that he didn't like the idea of Mueller going down to Mexico to get treated with a pill that's still not legal in the United States. He felt it was too dangerous and that she could die, so he supposedly went down to Mexico himself to get her and bring her back to the states. Sheen then decided to set her up with his own team of doctors that he used a few months back when the Two and a Half Men crew wanted him to get treatment. So he's set her up at an undisclosed location and is paying for everything. With Charlie's doctors on the case, Brooke should be winning rehab in no time. - TMZ
For years Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag lived a fake life for the cameras and reaped the benefits of undeserving fame, but recently life isn't as grand for the fame-whoring couple. Sources are reporting that Speidi are broke and living in a beach house in Santa Barbara owned by his folks rent-free. Perhaps it was Heidi's one too many ridiculously unnecessary surgeries, or perhaps their crazy antics on television has made them the anthrax of the work force so no one wants to hire them. Either way, these former The Hills stars are hard up for cash. I suppose this is the part where we feel sorry for them for spending their money so foolishly on cars, clothes, and let's not forget Heidi's music career. - Hollywood Gossip
According to Variety, The Office star Mindy Kaling has officially joined Five Year Engagement -- and boom, just like that, this movie somehow got even more exciting. The comedy, which reunites the creative team behind Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Nicholas Stoller behind the camera, Judd Apatow producing and Jason Segel writing and starring) already sports a pretty amazing cast: Emily Blunt, Rhys Ifans, Chris Pratt, David Paymer and Kevin Hart. With the addition of Kaling, we're not even quite sure what to do with ourselves; but we're sure she's gonna look amaaazing.
The former pop singer was left devastated after learning of Worrall's alleged infidelities and split from the model last month (Jul10).
But Osbourne is in love again, according to Britain's Daily Mail - she has reportedly embarked on a romance with Hansen - a BMX champion who has previously dated The Hills star Stephanie Pratt.
The pair was spotted together at her dad Ozzy Osbourne's Ozzfest event in Chicago, Illinois, recently and they dined out over an intimate meal at Los Angeles' Katsuya restaurant on Wednesday (18Aug10).
And Osbourne has been making it clear she thinks highly of Hansen on her Twitter.com page, urging her own fans to start following the 26 year old after making a bet with him.
On her page, she writes, "Please follow Josh Hansen - if he does not get 10,000 followers by the end of the day he is going 2 get Sid (my dog) for a day this can't happen!!!"