Sony Pictures via Everett Collection
There is a certain level of enjoyment you are guaranteed when signing on for a movie that boasts a cast of George Clooney, Matt Damon, John Goodman, and Bill Murray. And that's the precise level of enjoyment you'll get from The Monuments Men — that bare minimum smirk factor inherent the idea that your favorite stars are getting to play together. In FDR-era army helmets, no less. But what we also get from the film is an aura of smug self-confidence from project captain Clooney, who seems all too ready to take for granted that we're perfectly satisfied peering into his backyard clubhouse.
So assured is the director/co-writer that we're happy to be in on the game that there doesn't seem to be any effort taken to refine the product for the benefit of a viewing audience. An introductory speech from art historian Frank Stokes (Clooney) sets up the premise straight away: the Nazis are stealing and destroying all of Europe's paintings and sculptures, and by gum we need to stop them! The concept doesn't complicate from there, save for a batting back and forth of the throughline question about whether the preservation of these pieces is "really worth it." Stokes rallies his own Ocean's Seven on a fine arts rescue mission, instigating an old fashioned go-get-'em-boys montage where we learn everything we need to know about the band mates in question: Damon has a wife, Goodman has gumption, Murray doesn't smile, Bob Balaban is uppity, and Jean Dujardin is French.
The closest thing to a character in The Monuments Men comes in the form of Hugh Bonneville, a recovering alcoholic whose motivation to take on the dangerous mission is planted in a festering desire to absolve himself of a lifetime of f**king up. When we're away from Bonneville, the weight disspears, as does most of the joy. Without identifiable characters, even master funnymen like Goodman, Murray, and Balaban don't have much to offer... especially since the movie's jokes feel like first draft placeholders born on a tired night.
Sony Pictures via Everett Collection
But wait a minute, is this even supposed to be a comedy? After all, it's about World War II. And no matter what Alexandre Desplat's impossibly merry score would have you believe (coupled with The Lego Movie, this opening weekend might be responsible for more musical jubilance than any other since the days of "Make 'Em Laugh!"), warfare, genocide, and desecration of international culture all make for some pretty heavy material. But The Monuments Men's drama is just as fatigued as its humor, clumsily piecing together a collection of mini missions wherein the stakes, somehow, never seem to jump. We're dragged through military bases, battered towns, and salt mines by Clooney and the gang — occasionally jumping over to France to watch Damon work his least effective magic in years on an uptight Cate Blanchett, who holds the key to the scruffy American's mission but doesn't quite trust him... until, for no apparent reason, she suddenly does. We never feel like any of these people matter, not even to each other, so we never really feel like their adventures do.
The Monuments Men doesn't have much of a challenge ahead of it. Its heroes are movie stars, its bad guys are Nazis, and its message is one that nobody's going to refute: art is important — a maxim it pounds home with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, through countless scenes of men staring in awe at the works of Michelangelo and Rembrandt. And in this easy endeavor, Clooney decides to coast. How could it possibly go wrong? Just grab hold of the fellas, toss 'em in the trenches, and let the laughs and danger write themselves. "This is what they came to see," Monuments Men insists. "Just us guys havin' a ball." But we never feel in on the game, and it isn't one that looks like that much fun anyhow.
Follow @Michael Arbeiter
| Follow @Hollywood_com
Sightseers has your eyes from start to finish. From the opening shots of a moaning old woman, clutching fast to the soul of her adult-child daughter Tina (Alice Lowe), through the visual spectacles that follow Tina and her boyfriend Chris (Steve Oram) on their cross-country caravan tour, you're engaged. And quite often in the unsettling feature, this works against you. Ben Wheatley's film, conceived and written by his two starring players, doesn't want you slump comfortably into a comical story about a road trip around Great Britain. What it wants, instead, is to jar you inside and out.
After its soft-spoken introduction, the film shifts abuptly to a platform of physical and emotional violence: validating everything that Tina's sadistically overbearing mother (Eileen Davies) warned her about, Chris transforms from a good-natured romantic to a sociopathic murderer. Not a metaphor, the dude starts killing people left and right, with provocations as slight as littering, heated arguments, and judgmental eye-rolls. The murders prove a cinematic outlier — embedded in far greater realism than the likes of Tarantino, sensationalized well beyond the average death you'd see in an action-adventure. You're pulled in full force to every one of Chris' prideful, wrathful murders, begging for the scene to change back to a tepid conversation between the fellow joureyers.
But then, even these scenes become scathing. Although we're chauffered through some of Chris' darker turns at close proximity to the mad explorer, our real journey is with Tina, whose horror and amazement with her beau's deeds are all so morbidly steeped in her desperate need to feel good about herself. Tina's arc has her fleeing the grasp of her mother for the first time to pioneer a bout of self-efficacy, unprepared for the hurdles that amount when Chris rears his bizarre hobby, or undertakes an adulterous transgression with an intoxicated bachelorette partier.
Every ounce of Tina, from the first seconds of the film throughout, is drenched in a lonely, anxious pain. Her proverbial road trip offers up countless speed bumps on the path to a gratification she seems to have dreamt up or seen on television, never having received any sort of kindness from her mom, whose only affections appear to have been reserved for the pet terrier that Tina inadvertently killed one year prior. And as we watch her struggle and shrivel at the whim of her own tormented, self-unaware psyche, it's almost too much to handle.
But luckily, Wheatley makes Sightseers manageable. Operating alongside all the darkness and pain, the galaxy of loathing that is this story, is an odd air of color. Shot like a marvelous picture book, the movie doesn't marry its subject matter with gritty aesthetic, but with a bright, beautiful visual spectrum. Even the smaller, personal scenes look pristine — the arguments inside the camper are terrifically staged, the mobile cocoon of Chris' eccentric pal a delight for the eye.
And of course, the comedy. In spite of yourself, in spite of the goings on onscreen, you'll laugh at Sightseers. You'll laugh at Chris' outbursts, knowing full well that they are building toward certain horror. You'll laugh at Tina's misgivings, completely aware that they stem from a lifelong solitude and self-loathing. Somehow, the movie manages darkness and brimming light at the same time. When you're laughing, you're not forgetting about the turmoil, you're just accepting it.
Again, the only shortcoming of the film might be that it is at times too powerful. With such a visceral experience carrying throughout, it lands in a conclusion that seems to spring from, and lead to, nowehere. We're hard-pressed to figure out what we're meant to have learned, understood, or even experienced in Sightseers. For some, this will translate as a flaw — if you like to walk away from a movie with new thoughts and ideas, you'll find frustration in Sightseers. But if you're content just feeling, vividly, for an hour, and leaving the theater a little bit shaken as a result, then you'll have a fun, albeit tremendously upsetting, time with Sightseers.
Follow Michael Arbeiter on Twitter @MichaelArbeiter
More:'Iron Man 3' Review'The Big Wedding' Review'Pain & Gain' Review
From Our Partners:Eva Longoria Bikinis on Spring Break (Celebuzz)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
Breck Eisner, director of The Crazies, has signed on to adapt graphic novel Blood Of The Innocent for the big screen. Eisner, son of former Disney CEO Michael Eisner, is set to begin adapting the film after completing the Escape From New York remake.
Blood’s author, Mark Wheatley, spoke with Fearnet and described the plot of the novel. "It's Dracula versus Jack the Ripper. That's it. That's the whole concept." said Wheatley. “The events that take place in Stoker's Dracula, date by date, mesh perfectly with the Jack the Ripper murders. That was the core of what started us off on doing the story."
Eisner is also planning to remake old-school action hero Flash Gordon, but Wheatley claims that the director will tackle Blood Of The Innocent first.
Writer Bill Marsilii has been brought on to refine the script. But when you have a premise like this, who needs a script?
Source: Fearnet, ComingSoon