Forget Black Swan – Natalie Portman’s real crowning performance is to be found in the romantic comedy No Strings Attached in which director Ivan Reitman asks her to convey sincere unqualified affection for Ashton Kutcher. Portman much to her credit gamely complies and though she may not have the emaciated figure bloody nails and bandaged ankles to tell of her labors the psychic scars must no doubt be just as severe.
Exhibiting strong chick-flick leanings and a rambunctious soft-R comic tone (i.e. lots of F-bombs some menstrual humor and a few shots of Kutcher’s naked ass) No Strings Attached is built around a basic relationship role-reversal: The dude Adam (Kutcher) longs for a deeper lasting commitment; the chick Emma (Portman) insists on keeping matters purely physical. Emma’s motive is a practical one: As a doctor-to-be her busy residency schedule with its 80-hour work weeks and intensive exam preparations precludes a serious relationship. But alas a woman has certain needs (foreplay apparently not being among them) and who better to fulfill them than Kutcher’s non-threatening boy-toy?
Thus a “friends with benefits” arrangement is cemented whereupon the ripcord is to be pulled on the occasion that either of them develops stronger feelings. This does not last long for soon Adam is cloyingly lobbying for escalation. Emma demurs – not out of disinterest we are told but because she’s intimacy-averse and afraid of a broken heart. Why else would she resist a more permanent attachment to someone like Adam?
Perhaps it’s because Adam as played by Kutcher is about as interesting as cabbage. And yet No Strings Attached would have us believe he’s some kind of floppy-haired Albert Schweitzer. This despite the fact that his greatest aspiration in life is to join the writing staff of a High School Musical-esque television series the shallow inanity of which is one of the film’s recurring jokes. In vain support of his cause the filmmakers decorate Adam’s apartment with various props – vintage posters books about 1920s movies a guitar that is occasionally picked up but never actually played – that hint at a depth that Kutcher himself never manifests.
Still Portman sells us on Adam and Emma’s inevitable union with every ounce of her not inconsiderable talent. (And her comic chops are legit – as those who’ve glimpsed her appearances on SNL and Funny or Die can attest.) But she asks too much. And Elizabeth Meriweather’s script while witty and stocked with some keen observations on the evolving nature of relationships in the modern age becomes weighed down by sentiment unbecoming an R-rated comedy not directed by Judd Apatow. In the end Kutcher seals the increasingly contrived deal with the climactic line “I’m warning you: Come one step closer and I’m never letting you go ” (I’m paraphrasing but not loosely) by which time the film's already lost its grip.
Today marked a sunny day for The Dark Knight.
Also for a guy who grows younger as he gets older and a kid who beats all odds to win Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
The Producers Guild of America has announced its nominations for best movies, documentaries and TV shows. Nods in this movie category often foreshadow what’s to come by way of Oscar later on.
The 20th Annual PGA Awards will take place Jan. 24 at the Hollywood Paladium.
The complete list of nominees is as follows. First, for theatrical movies:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Kathleen Kennedy & Frank Marshall
The Dark Knight
And for documenaries:
Man on Wire
Standard Operating Procedure
Julie Bilson Ahlberg
Trouble the Water
And for animation:
Kung Fu Panda
And for episodic TV/comedy:
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Lori Jo Nemhauser
And for episodic TV/drama:
David E. Kelley
Mark A. Baker
Todd A. Kessler
Robert Lloyd Lewis
Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz
And for "nonfiction" TV:
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List
Lisa M. Tucker
This American Life
And for "live and competition" TV:
Bertram van Munster
Hayma “Screech” Washington
The Colbert Report
Stephen T. Colbert, DFA
Real Time with Bill Maher
And for "long-form" TV"
Bernard and Doris
A Raisin in the Sun
Finally, honorary awards and recipients:
Brian Grazer and Ron Howard
David O. Selznick Achievement Award in Theatrical Motion Pictures
Norman Lear Achievement Award in Television
MySpace founders Chris DeWolfe and Tom Anderson
The Stanley Kramer Award
Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen
MORE NEWS: It's Dolly and Charlie Romijn-O'Connell!
As the under-18 female world continues to mourn the loss of bachelorhood for Backstreet Boys (and cousins) Kevin Richardson and Brian Littrell, we've hunted down who we think are their blond, lucky fiancées, or as Backstreet fans know them, The Witches Who Stole Our Future Husbands.
Richardson and Willits Richardson, 28, is engaged to Kristin Willits, a dancer for Cher, says USA Today. The two met in a Disney World cafeteria when Richardson was working as a Ninja Turtle and have been dating off and on for seven years.
As for 24-year-old Littrell, we say his betrothed is longtime girlfriend Leighanne Wallace, a budding actress whose credits include "Wild America," "My Fellow Americans" and two Backstreet videos. She has a few Web sites of her own out there (whether they're hateful or supportive sites is another story). She's 30, which already puts her two decades ahead of most Backstreet fans and as far as they're concerned, dangerously close to Michael Douglas cradle-robbing territory.
Spurned fans, meanwhile, are pouring their hearts out on chat boards across the world, some slamming the Backstreet fiancées as "Yoko Onos" (how do prepubescents even know that reference?) and warning that the group "probably won't be number one or number two on [MTV's 'Total Request Live'] I'll tell you that." Others, who say they have met Wallace, call her everything from "really sweet" to "trash." On MTV Online, another fan wrote: "Now they're just throwing us away like a piece of trash."
Leighanne Wallace But others, bless their hearts, take comfort in knowing the other three Boys -- young blond heartthrob Nick Carter, tattooed, follicularly challenged A.J. McLean and bearded, ponytailed Howie Dorough -- are still single, and their Meaty Cheesy-inspiring music lives on. But one fan dared to speculate, "With all this negativity looming around with those who are obviously fair-weather fans, I wonder what will happen when ANY of the guys from 'N Sync become engaged."
Okay, now that's not funny.
THE BIRTH ACCORDING TO TRAVOLTA: John Travolta's about to become a father again, and reveals that he and wife Kelly Preston plan to introduce the unborn child to Scientology right out of the womb. According to "Entertainment Tonight" and the New York Daily News, Travolta, 45, says Preston, who is eight months along, will have a "quiet birth."
"We do the traditional French Lamaze, but in Dianetics [the teachings of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard], you try and keep the delivery room quiet so there's nothing recorded in the child's mind that shouldn't be there while there's pain going on," Travolta explains.
It's not completely quiet, though. Preston, 37, is allowed to moan in pain -- thank goodness -- but "any people saying any kind of negative verbiage may adversely affect the baby later on," says Travolta. Does this mean no discussing around the kid why Travolta agreed to star in "Michael"?
AGE MADE HIM DO IT: Film critic Rex Reed has been working to lift the negative reviews he's gotten since his shoplifting arrest last week. In a column for the Feb. 21 edition of the New York Observer, Reed, 61, claims a "senior moment" caused him to take three CDs from a Manhattan Tower Records store. When he was caught with the compact discs (by Mel Torme, Peggy Lee and Carmen McRae) in his pocket, he offered to pay by credit card, "or the $500 in cash I had in my wallet," but was rejected. "I don't consider myself guilty of anything but careless stupidity," Reed says.
But all is not lost. Reed got a call from Lee's press agent, who said the pop-jazz legend "was so thrilled I wanted one of her CDs enough to put myself through so much hell that she was sending me an entire collection. I hope none of the songs is 'My Funny Valentine.' "
MUSIC BEAT: Carlos Santana, closing in on his likely Grammy sweep on Wednesday, retook the top spot on Billboard's album chart this week. "Supernatural" was followed by: Dr. Dre's "Dr. Dre 2001" and Celine Dion's "All the Way: A Decade of Song," which each moved up one spot. D'Angelo's "Voodoo," which held at No. 1 for two weeks, slipped to No. 4, and Christina Aguilera's self-titled debut stuck to No. 5.
The Top Five singles in the country are as follows: "I Knew I Loved You," Savage Garden; "Thank God I Found You," Mariah Carey featuring Joe and 98 Degrees; "Amazed," Lonestar; "What a Girl Wants," Christina Aguilera; and "Breathe," Faith Hill.
QUICK TAKES: A court has dismissed a bid by the undercover Los Angeles policeman who arrested George Michael in a public restroom in 1998 to sue the British pop star for $10 million on the grounds of emotional distress. Marcelo Rodriguez claimed emotional and mental distress and slander after Michael released the music video for "Outside" shortly after his arrest. The video was shot partly in a lavatory and features two policemen kissing. A Los Angeles Superior Court judge dismissed the case on Monday, saying Rodriguez was a public official and could not under law recover damages for alleged emotional distress ...
... "As the World Turns" star Michael Park, who plays Jack Snyder, and wife Laurie welcomed 7-pound daughter Kathleen Rose into the world Monday in New York ...
... Universal Studios president Ron Meyer threw an engagement/baby party for Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones last weekend, according to the New York Daily News. Sean Connery and Danny DeVito were among those in attendance ....
... So Leo and Brad won't be there, but you can always count on Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Terminator himself has been tapped as a presenter for the 72nd Annual Academy Awards. Same goes for "Austin Powers" groovester Mike Myers. Look for both dudes at the big show, happening March 26 at the Los Angeles Shrine Auditorium.
... After playing God (literally) in "Dogma," rocker Alanis Morissette will make her Broadway debut in "The Vagina Monologues" March 21-April 2 at Los Angeles' Westside Theater, says Variety. Morissette filled in for Calista Flockhart Wednesday night in Los Angeles for a V-Day 2000 benefit performance.