Patton Oswalt's pitch to Disney for Star Wars Episode VII on last night's Parks & Recreation, released earlier this week in its full, unedited form, is a hallucinatory explosion of geek imagery. It imagines a red lightsaber-wielding Luke, an adulterous Leia, a chump Han Solo, a Sarlaac-regurgitated Boba Fett, and a disembodied Chewbacca tangling with the omnipotent alien warlord Thanos from Marvel, along with Spider-Man, the X-Men, the Avengers, and the Greek gods from Clash and Wrath of the Titans. Because Sam Worthington will not rest until he's in every franchise. Some of it makes perfectly geeky sense, like bringing back Brian De Palma to write the opening crawl. (Seriously, I've suggested that myself.) It also strikes fear that Star Wars, like the Marvel films also produced by Disney, probably will have post-credit scenes from now on.
Our good friends at EW.com took Oswalt's pitch and ran with it, producing this fantastic fake poster below that imagines Disney's multiple franchises existing in one continuous multiverse.
Click over to EW.com to see the full-size image, designed by photo editor extraordinaire Jef Castro. A few questions, though. Is Luke so determined to pay tribute to his father that he doesn't just wield his red lightsaber, he also dons daddy Anakin's Darth Vader armor? Is Leia cut out of the poster — only her hand, being kissed by her lover Lando Calrissian, is visible — because that is how underwritten the female roles really are in Oswalt's vision? And will Samuel L. Jackson really still be playing Nick Fury in Episode VII, even though he played Mace Windu in the prequels?
This is all we can say, EW: "Impressive...most impressive."
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In the cinematic desert that is the January-February movie-release schedule one gains a greater appreciation for mere competence. And that’s precisely what you’ll get with Man on a Ledge a mid-budget thriller with modest aspirations and genuine popcorn appeal. Sam Worthington (Avatar Clash of the Titans) stars as Nick Cassidy a former New York City cop wrongly convicted for the theft of a prized diamond. After exhausting all judicial avenues for exoneration he takes the unusual and seemingly desperate next step of planting himself on a ledge outside the penthouse of midtown’s Roosevelt Hotel and threatening to jump. An NYPD psychologist (Elizabeth Banks) is summoned to talk him down unaware that Nick harbors an ulterior motive. From his perch above midtown he is secretly orchestrating a scheme to take revenge against the corrupt corporate chieftain (Ed Harris) who engineered his demise and prove his innocence once and for all.
Director Asger Leth making his U.S. feature-film debut with Man on a Ledge keeps the pace brisk and never allows the tone to stray into self-seriousness which is crucial for a movie whose premise is so devoutly ridiculous. The script from Pablo F. Fenjves provides enough feints and twists to keep us engaged. Jamie Bell and Genesis Rodriguez aren’t the most believable of couples but there’s a screwball charm to their comic routine as amateur thieves charged with aiding Nick’s scheme. (Leth can’t resist inserting an entirely superfluous – but nonetheless greatly appreciated – scene of the criminally gorgeous Rodriguez stripping down to a thong in the middle of a heist.) Worthington makes for a likable populist protagonist even if his Australian accent betrays him on copious occasions and Harris’ disturbingly emaciated frame lends an added menace to his devious plutocrat villain.