WHAT’S IT ABOUT?
Cliff and Cydney are happy newlyweds headed to Hawaii for a quiet honeymoon on a remote portion of the island of Kauai. Their marital bliss is abruptly interrupted however when they receive word that just a few days prior a pair of newlyweds not unlike themselves were murdered on Maui and that the killers believed to be a man and a woman were still at large.
Dismayed by the unsettling news Cliff and Cydney nonetheless resolve to move forward with their honeymoon but start to become anxious when they encounter not one but two exceedingly strange couples each of whom seemingly fit the profile of the killers. Miles away from civilization unable to get a decent cell phone signal and seemingly surrounded by possible murderers they begin to wonder if they might be the next victims.
WHO’S IN IT?
Playing the part of Cliff is Steve Zahn a prolific character actor best known for supporting roles in films like Rescue Dawn and Sunshine Cleaning. As a jittery Hollywood screenwriter who too often lets his overactive imagination get the best of him Zahn’s performance is the most credible aspect of the movie. In the role of his wife Cydney is Resident Evil series star Milla Jovovich demonstrating how truly unremarkable she can be when not cast opposite expressionless zombies.
Despite being saddled with most of the film’s worst lines Hitman star Timothy Olyphant proves convincing as Nick a wild-eyed survivalist who claims to have served as an army special forces operative in Iraq. Laying it on a little too thick with the fake Southern accent is Kiele Sanchez who plays Nick’s equally suspicious girlfriend.
Director David Twohy (Pitch Black The Chronicles of Riddick) makes an earnest attempt at crafting a modern-day murder mystery and for the most part he does a commendable job of messing with audience expectations setting the stage for a major second-act plot twist that proves every bit as surprising as advertised.
Twohy is one of the more likable Hollywood directors and it’s good to see him back from the dead after the Riddick disaster set fire to his career. Unfortunately he falls headlong into the M. Night Shyamalan trap with A Perfect Getaway focusing too much on pulling off the big twist and forsaking just about every other element of the movie. To be fair Twohy’s film isn’t nearly as dreadful as Shyamalan’s recent Razzie-amassing efforts like The Happening and Lady in the Water but its deficiencies are similarly multifaceted. Awkward dialogue mediocre performances by Jovovich and Sanchez and an excessively aimless pre-twist plotline are just a few of the problems that plague the movie.
But my biggest gripe with A Perfect Getaway is that Twohy fills the story with so many seemingly important plot devices which end up going nowhere that the film could very well be re-titled Red Herring: The Movie. At a certain point you throw up your hands and ask “Well then is any of this s--t real?” And the answer is: No probably not. But isn’t Kauai beautiful?
Admittedly the twist is pretty darn clever. Too bad we have to wait over an hour to see it.
The climax features an excruciating scene in which a key character’s cell phone previously assumed to be out of service receives a sales call from an Indian-accented telemarketer. Rather than simply hang up and dial 911 the character pleads with the befuddled phone company rep to alert the police with predictable lack of success. All this while a deranged killer stalks the vicinity. Characters that stupid deserve to die.
Welcome to My Best Friend’s Four Scottish Weddings and No Funeral. Indeed Made of Honor borrows heavily from both films which naturally leaves no surprises. Patrick Dempsey plays Tom a sexy successful guy who has all the luck with the ladies. His male friends (Kadeem Hardison Richmond Arquette Chris Messina) all envy him but Tom’s one constant in his life is his best friend Hannah (Monaghan). He doesn’t ever have to worry about wooing her; he can just be himself. But when Hannah goes overseas to Scotland on a six-week business trip Tom is stunned to realize how empty his life is without her. So he decides to come clean and tell her how she feels once she gets back--except she returns engaged to a Scottish duke (Kevin McKidd) who is just about the most perfect guy there is. D’oh! What’s a boy to do but break up the girl’s wedding and win her for himself? There’s no doubt Dempsey has become the poster boy for romantic comedies what with his turn in Enchanted and his McDreamy role on Grey's Anatomy. Problem is he generally never offers anything more than his handsome face leaving all the heavy lifting to his leading ladies i.e. Enchanted’s Amy Adams and now Honor’s Monaghan. This lovely actress who has proven herself to be more than just an ingénue in films such as Gone Baby Gone and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang has a natural effervescence which exudes in just about anything she does. She does everything in her power to drum up chemistry with the bland Dempsey--and we’re thankful for her effort. McKidd best known for playing the kick-ass Roman solider Lucius Vorenus on HBO's Rome has very little to do as the Scottish stud but effectively comes across as near-perfect. And Sydney Pollack also does a nice turn as Tom’s oft-married dad who gives his foolish son some sage words of advice. Made of Honor may be a derivative yawner but director Paul Weiland (City Slickers II) tries his best to inject some personality into the proceedings. The prelude to the wedding in Scotland is sort of fun. Us lowly Americans are introduced to many interesting Scottish customs like throwing tree trunks in a competition of strength--in kilts no less. Other than that there really isn’t anything going on of any major note. Honor’s only chance to make something of itself is if the ladies head into a different theater while their male companions go see Iron Man.