Ashton Kutcher's imminent Two and a Half Men identity is a long-awaited bit of information, so I'm going to cut to the chase. No drawn-out introduction. No beating around the bush. I'm not going to string you along, toy with your emotions, dangle the carrot, delay gratification, postpone the inevitable, put off—sorry, old habits die hard. He'll be playing Walden Schmidt, internet billionaire.
And finally, you can exhale. No longer will theories be tossed about and ruminated on, because now we finally know. So all that's left is to actually... watch it.
After the death of Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen), Alan (Jon Cryer) and Jake Harper (Angus Jones) will welcome a new member to complete their trio (or du-and-a-half-o). Schmidt's role in the lives of the remaining Harpers remains ambiguous, although we do know that new ownership of Charlie's house will be a plot point of the season premiere, so the whole "Ashton buys the house and lets Cryer and Jones live in it" thing that people keep chatting about seems to be a lock. What's the reasoning behind this seemingly unlikely event? We'll see. Something tells me that the tired trope of eccentric billionaire will not be avoided.
Source: Hollywood Reporter
We thought it was just a venting of hostility. We figured, "They're not actually going to go through with something that dark." But Chuck Lorre is actually opening this season of Two and a Half Men with a funeral for Charlie Harper.
His cause of death is still a secret, although we can bet it won't be handled with much reverence. In fact, one wonders if the show will even depict Alan and Jake as sad over the loss of their brother/uncle, or if authenticity will be sacrificed for hilarity in Charlie Sheen-directed jabs.
Reportedly, a slew of ex-girlfriends will visit the funeral, likely armed with scorn and sarcasm to be shared with the (potentially) grieving Harpers. So funeral aside, one can't really expect this to be anything out of Two and a Half Men's ordinary routine.
The episode will proceed with the much talked-about introduction of Ashton Kutcher (perhaps in more ways than one) following a sea of celebrities interested in purchasing Charlie's lavish home.
This is a dark turn for the sitcom, sure. And furthermore, it's probably one that'll incur some sort of reaction from Sheen...because, really, what doesn't?
Source: AV Club
The theories on Ashton Kutcher's new character, being brought onto Two and a Half Men to replace Charlie Sheen's Charlie Harper, have been plentiful. He's Alan's new tenant. He's Alan's new landlord. He's Charlie's illegitimate son. He's Charlie Harper himself after reconstructive surgery (this is my personal favorite). But the latest possibility is that Kutcher will actually play Kutcher.
The actor is, admittedly, a character on his own. For better or worse, Punk'd really brought him out of the That '70s Show outline and into his own celebrity persona. So, it's not so hard to believe that Chuck Lorre and Co. would consider sticking Kutcher's actual persona into the reality of Two and a Half Men to pal around with (or perhaps be at odds with) Alan and Jake Harper (Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones).
The truth is, nobody knows yet. The secrecy extends to withholding the premiere scripts until just two days before the episode's table read. Whether Kutcher will play Kutcher, Charlie, Raymond, Kelso or some other character, celebrity cameos will not be spared in the Season 9 opener. Reportedly, various big names will show up in the premiere to play themselves, possibly as interested buyers of the Harper household (which Alan can no longer afford on his own due to Charlie's absence).
Sheen's character is still said to be removed "violently," without any hope of ever returning. Meanwhile, Sheen's Comedy Central Roast is still set to broadcast the same night as the Two and a Half Men premiere. So clearly, everyone has pretty much buried the hatchet on this whole mess.
We saw the questionable, half-naked photo of Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones alongside new Two and a Half Men castmember Ashton Kutcher, but that wasn't enough. We wanted to really know just how well Kutcher would fit into the natural order among the Men. Well, here's a good start: Kutcher taking Sheen's place in the show's trademark crooning-before-a-curtain shot. How's THAT for slipping right into character?
Kutcher signed on to the popular U.S. sitcom earlier this year (11) after embattled actor Charlie Sheen was fired from the show, and now the actor is taking great pains to ensure his debut will be a hit by disrobing with Cryer and fellow co-star Angus T. Jones for a fun teaser campaign.
In the advert, the shirtless and pantless trio hold a large sign, which reads, "All Will Be Revealed: 19 September (11)," leaving the rest up to the viewer's imagination.
Get ready to wrinkle your brow, because this is the new poster for Two and a Half Men. Newcomer Ashton Kutcher is sandwiched between Angus T. Jones and Jon Cryer in a very awkward, clothes-less position and the rest of us are left thoroughly perplexed. Even so, according to EW, this image will see a few different reincarnations with different messages displayed on the strategically-placed white board, but for now we get the premiere date and air of mystery that I don't think was all that present before. In actuality, this ad tells us nothing, other than the fact that it's clearly an opportunity for us to think of ridiculous captions to photoshop onto that whiteboard.
Kutcher was announced as fired Charlie Sheen's replacement on the hit sitcom on 13 May (11) and the Just Married actor made his public debut as a castmember at a TV industry event less than a week later, hitting the stage at the CBS Upfronts alongside Cryer and teenage co-star Angus T. Jones.
Cryer admits they had little time to bond as programme bosses rushed to fill Sheen's spot and stick to their tight production schedule in order to get the show back on air by the end of the year (11).
He tells U.S. TV host David Letterman, "We had a very quick meeting to see if we could deal with each other and we could. They threw everything together very quickly, so they had to fly us to New York to put us in front of advertisers for the Upfronts, so we got the CBS corporate jet."
Cryer became a little worried things wouldn't work out quite as well as he'd hoped after Kutcher made a playful comment onboard the flight.
Cryer jokes, "What gave me pause was, Ashton came on the plane (and) he said, 'Ah, you know what I love about private jets? You can bring knives onboard!' Yeah... that's what I love about private jets!"
Production on the new Two and a Half Men series begins in August (11).
Now, I know many of you Two and a Half Men fans out there hope that the show gets an Emmy every year, but even you have to admit this year doesn't exactly qualify for an award in TV excellence. Apparently, Warner Bros. TV is taking that stance as well. Though the multicamera sitcom is technically eligible for an Emmy, they've decided not to submit the show in the best comedy series category.
But is this really all that detrimental to the show's reputation? Probably not. Besides the fact that it's been nominated three times and garnered no trophies, it's probably best to steer away from talking about the show as a whole after the year it's had. Between Charlie Sheen's complete mental breakdown marring its luster and the fact that said mental breakdown caused the show to halt production midway through the season, I doubt it would fare very well on a night honoring the best American television.
Of course, this curtailing of the show's overall Emmy campaign isn't stopping the show's stars from leading their own, and WB is completely behind those efforts. Actors Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones, Holland Taylor and Conchata Ferrell are all gunning for nominations themselves. Honestly, I don't even like the show and I want Cryer to at least nab a nomination. That poor guy's fate has been hanging in the balance -- until CBS snagged Ashton Kutcher earlier this month -- thanks to Sheen's ego-maniacal hijinks. Plus, he's just so darn likable -- probably more due to his role in Pretty in Pink back in 1986 than his work on Men, but still. Besides, he's the only Men star to ever actually win and he's been nominated every year since 2006. He's probably got the best shot out of any of these folks.
As for Sheen, he missed the April 29 deadline for nomination submissions, but there's a loophole that will allow for a write-in bid at this point. There's no word on whether or not he'll try sneaking in for a nomination, but seeing as he's already WINNING, DUH, he probably has no need for a little golden lady -- and he's probably already got his own creepy, real-life version of that at home anyway. Ew.
It used to be crazy that Ashton Kutcher had enough time in his schedule of filming Nikon Coolpix commercials and building up his "be a man and don't make children have sex with you" campaign to take on the task of replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. But then it was okay and seemed plausible, because we were kind of like, "well what else is he going to do with that goofy smile other than tell that $300,000-an episode earning Angus T. Jones that all the cool people are named after cattle and explain to him that if you put a lime in some seltzer water, it kind of looks like you're drinking alcohol!?" But now, any remaining questions we may have regarding Ashton's agreement to appear on the show (you know, like WHY, and whatnot) don't really matter anymore because it has been announced that his contract is only for one year. And who hasn't ever found themselves in a situation where they just have to do something shitty for one year?
Anyway, the Wall Street Journal reports that the reason why the contract's length is so short is because CBS has only licensed the TV show for another year. However, If CBS decides to pick up the show for another season (which would air in 2012 and 2013), Warner Bros. could either extend their contract with Kutcher or end it. The WSJ claims that both CBS and Warner Bros are fingers crossing that the show will go on for two or three more seasons, meaning the show could be on the air for a grand total of eleven or twelve seasons. But that is ridiculous because that is unnecessary, and offensive to Dolly the cloned sheep who stipulated that unnecessary things should only have a lifespan of six years.
Kutcher is reportedly earning $700,00 per episode, which is a prosciutto slice of Charlie Sheen's $2 million per episode salary, but again: it's only for a year. After that, Kutcher can go back to filming commercials for a camera that is totally appealing to college freshman, which is an audience that can only afford it if they convince their parents they need a new comforter.
The trio hit the stage at the CBS Upfronts and Kutcher compared his new gig to winning the lottery.
He said, "In my 13 years of showbusiness, I have never received more calls and emails for getting this job.
"I always thought you surround yourself with the best and work your a** off, and I am surrounded by the best and I will work my a** off!"
Kutcher will replace fired star Charlie Sheen on the show when it returns after a lengthy hiatus later this year (11).