The Star Wars origin story films are a go, whether we're on board or not. So we might as well keep positive and hope for the best. We don't know for sure which Lucasfilm characters we'll see get individual treatment — beyond rumors about Han Solo, Boba Fett, and Yoda — but we can muster up a list of which denizens of that Galaxy Far, Far away would be most compelling. And, just to conflate our Star Wars nerd-dom with our general film industry nerd-dom, we can toss in a list of directors we'd like to see take on these projects. How likely are any of these creations we've come up with? Not at all. But this is a land for dreaming. Behold the Star Wars origin story movies we'd very much love to see...
Han SoloGreedo Shooter, a twisted account of the pilot's young days of skirting the law and living it up. Written and directed by Harmony Korine.
Boba FettThe Man with No Face, a vivid, heavy dramatic thriller. Written by Luc Besson and directed by Kathryn Bigelow.
YodaMaster, a weighty drama about the dark depths to which a Jedi's mind can plunge. Written and directed by Werner Herzog.
Princess LeiaThe Princess' Revolution, a politically-charged drama about ascending from royalty to righteousness. Written by Emma Thompson and directed by Joe Wright.
ChewbaccaThe Growl of Man, a wordless epic about the Wookiee's journeys through the forests of Kashyyyk. Written and directed by Terrence Malick.
C-3POJust the Droid You're Looking For!, a verbose comedy about one droid's neurotic self-sabotage. Written and directed by Woody Allen.
R2-D2(beep!), a charming Pixar film about a whistling robot who changes lives everywhere he goes. Written and directed by Brad Bird.
Jabba the HuttPorcelain Palace, a dark, perverse nightmare about the goings-on in a crime lord's den of sex and violence. Written and directed by David Lynch.
Lando CalrissianHead in the Clouds, a sardonic farce about the Cloud City kingpin's moral decay. Written by Diablo Cody and directed by Jason Reitman.
Admiral AckbarCalamari, a sweeping exploration of the waterlogged planet of Mon Calamari. Written and directed by James Cameron.
Figrin D'an and the Modal NodesA Kloo Horn Melody, a pithy mockumentary about the longstanding rivalry of the Mos Eisley Cantina's house musicians with the Max Rebo Band. Written and directed by David Guest.
Jar Jar BinksGungan Man, a disturbing mission to latch onto one of the universe's most vile, deplorable creatures. Written and directed by David Cronenberg.
Uncle Owen and Aunt BeruMidtown Tatooine, a dry dramedy about a loveless pair's decision to raise their ungrateful young nephew. Written and directed by Wes Anderson.
Grand Moff TarkinAbandon Ship, a wily, haunting adventure about a crew of Stormtroopers who want out of their dead-end business. Written and directed by Pedro Almodóvar.
Biggs Darklighter, Wedge Antilles, and Jek Tono PorkinsFly, a dreamy navel-gazer about three Academy students who'd rather soar through space than think about the future. Written and directed by Richard Linklater.
Ponda Baba and Dr. Cornelius EvazanWe Don't Like You, a subversive buddy crook comedy about two wanted men who only love each other. Written and directed by Edgar Wright.
Mon MothmaCenter of the Universe, a political satire about the deafening bureaucracy behind the curtains of the Galactic Republic. Written and directed by Armando Iannucci.
Mace WinduThe Mighty Purple, a bloody exploitation film about a no-mercy warrior who takes justice into his own hands. Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino.
General GrievousSo I'm a Robot Now, a screwball comedy about a man-turned-cyborg who must adjust to life in his new form. Written and directed by David Wain.
WicketFluff, a wondrous ballad about a delightful creature trying to find beauty in times of fear. Written by James Schamus and directed by Ang Lee.
What else can you come up with: a John Waters film about Bib Fortuna? A slow-burning Coen Bros drama about a young Qui Gon? Paul Thomas Anderson's take on pod racing? We're intrigued by all and any ideas. Sound off!
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The catastrophic battles of the Clone Wars are in their final stages as the crumbling Republic--supported by the ever-vigilant Jedi Knights--fight against the Separatist Alliance lead by a particularly nasty half-droid half-alien named General Grievous. Jedi überheroes Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) are sent to kill General Grievous and end the war but it isn't easy. Meanwhile Yoda Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) and the other Jedi Council members fear for the state of the Republic under the guidance of the nebulously sinister Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid). I know what you're thinking "Yeah yeah just tell us how Anakin goes bad." Poor Annie. He still has some serious anger issues which now revolve around his adoring young wife Padme (Natalie Portman) and their unborn child (or children in this case). He thinks he foresees Padme's death and will do anything to keep her safe including listening to Palpatine malevolently whisper promises of immortality and the power of the Dark Side into his ear. Not the best thing for this volatile fellow. Yes Darth Vader will soon emerge and the inevitable duel between the good and the Dark Side is at hand. Get your lightsabers ready.
Happily all the main actors--save for perhaps Natalie Portman as the ineffectual Padme--get a lot more to chew on in this final installment. Christensen is thankfully done being the whining teenager from Attack of the Clones and turns into a brooding conflicted pre-Vader who can't control his anger. Of course he overdoes it a bit with the scowling and evil cold stares but that's OK. It's what the part requires. The love story between Christensen and Portman however is still kind of painful to watch. The two actors look more than a little embarrassed professing their love for one another ("I'm so much in love with you" "No I'm so much in love with YOU!"). And besides bringing back the infamous Leia "cinnamon bun" look Portman isn't given a darn thing to do but fret and pace and rub her pregnant belly praying Anakin will be all right. You'd think after wielding a gun in The Phantom Menace she'd get to do more fighting. Oh well. On the flip side McGregor Jackson and even McDiarmid all get to kick some serious butt in Revenge of the Sith each with their own action-packed fight sequences. Jackson just seems happy to be swinging a lightsaber around. McGregor with the full beard and biting commentary does a nice job setting the stage for the elderly Ben Kenobi to come. And McDiarmid a veteran British stage thesp finally gets his chance to shine as the malicious Palpatine as we see his own transformation into the ultimate evil being he becomes.
Oh George what are you going to do now that it's all over? Of course Lucas has said he is going to redo all the six Star Wars episodes in 3-D as well as produce a TV series which follows the events after Return of the Jedi. Then there's the fourth Indiana Jones movie to look forward to. But Lucas will probably hole back up at his Skywalker Ranch in northern California and dream up even better ways to generate special effects for the big screen. That's what he does best. He truly is an amazing genius at creating visuals and Revenge of the Sith is no exception. From the battle between General Grievous and Obi-Wan to Yoda's clash with Darth Sidious to Obi-Wan's climactic duel with Anakin Sith is simply riveting. The only difficulty Lucas has ever had is with the human element. I'll admit I'm one of those die-hard fans of the original trilogy who had a problem with the lack of an emotional core in the prequels. After writing and directing the first Star Wars (or Episode IV for those counting) Lucas understood then that maybe he wasn't the best choice to write the next two handing the chores off to screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan. It worked. Big time. Yet with all three prequels (that's Episodes I-III) Lucas did it all himself and his obvious shortcomings are evident. But hey does it really matter how connected you feel to the characters when you've got the Force Jedi Knights evil Darths an ass-kicking little green guy clone armies droid armies Wookiee armies (yeah that's a lot of fur) and an ultimate turn towards the Dark Side? No. But it helps.