Country star Carrie Underwood couldn't resist playing a prank on Hunter Hayes on the last night of their joint tour on Saturday (18May13) by arranging for a screaming goat to accompany his performance. The Somebody's Heartbreak hitmaker joined Underwood on the road earlier this year (13) as the opening act of her Blown Away Tour, and while playing his final gig in Alberta, Canada, the American Idol star got the best of her new pal by calling on engineers to project video footage of an angry goat on a large screen to the right of the stage.
The clip appeared several times throughout the show as he sang Light Me Up, but, ever the professional, Hayes took the incident in stride and continued playing even as the audience chuckled.
All jokes aside, Underwood later took to Twitter.com to thank Hayes for the laughs and shared a video of the gag with fans - she wrote in a post, "Hunter Hayes' last show on the #BlownAwayTour = time for pranks! Tee hee! Thanks @HunterHayes for being on the road with us! You will be missed!"
Welcome to the Christina Aguilera Show Recap! I'm sorry, did you think we were going to talk about voices? Oh, I'm sorry, America. This is a show about Christina Aguilera and her many thoughts, opinions, and her 99 problems. (See what I did there?!)
Before we get to the heart of the matter, let's discuss the completely unnecessary filler that took up 90 percent of the program. This, of course, meant more quality segments from part-time brain surgeon Christina Milian, and other great mistakes.
One non-mistake was the follicle fits of Juliet Simms. Homegirl went and got herself un-blonded. Thanks for listening, future BFF.
Now onwards! When asked by Late Night ghost, Carson Daly, Christina managed to not say a damn word about her team member Chris Mann. Because Christina is intuitive: She's acting on some Miss Cleo-type knowledge and she knows that when Carson asks about her thoughts on her pupil, what he's really asking about is how she's feeling, what she thinks about the show, and how her son is there to root her on! Because, you know, this show is not about four unknowns trying to make it in the music industry. So humble, Xtina. You went to work with a cold? Aww girl, you definitely deserve a cookie because most Americans definitely don't have to do that, ever. Above and beyond the call!
But to give Christina a break from her adoring audiences, NBC's thrown in a few performances from some other randos.
First, there's this kid Jermaine Paul. Have you heard of him? He can sing pretty alright, you know. I mean, he's no Christina Aguilera (pish-posh!), but he'll make due for now. “I Believe I Can Fly” is the ditty du jour, and (don't tell Christina!) he totally sang the pants off that song. He's fantastic vocally, but I never connect with his performances. But! He did have the first (of many, many, many) choirs for the evening. So, kudos for being a trendsetter or something.
NEXT: Christina Wears a Dress of Sorts
After the commercial break, we are returned to the Christina Milian Playhouse, where she is worshipping at the church of Jermaine's parents. Should I be getting communion from Xtina?
Another fluff piece for the evening — which the judges had, like, totally no idea about at all, what a surprise, OMG! — are the tribute performances for their judges. So basically, this is like the Hunger Games. (Wait... which one is Peeta then?) Anyway, Juliet Simms is up first with “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley. Her energy is low and she sounds very reserved.
Returning to The Christina Aguilera Show, we have her duet performance with Chris Mann — “The Prayer” by Christina Aguilera-Andrea Bocelli and Christina Aguilera-Celine Dion — and everyone (including Christina's son) has been waiting for this Main Event. On a catherdral-ized Lazy Susan made for two, they perform. They are two attractive people with attractive voices that can sing very big opera songs. Hee-hoo. Christina decided to keep things subtle and understated in her wardrobe choices and wore two extremely long, glittery nipple tassels as her dress. My favorite part about that was definitely Chris' reaction later in the evening when asked about it: “Yeah... Christina's dress... I saw that.” But what did you really see, Chris? Because I don't think it was dress.
NEXT: Tony's 99 problems and a rip-off's one!
Tony Lucca. Tony f**king Lucca. He's on some sort of crusade with every performance he does. Tonight he decided to honky-tonk it up on his rendition of Jay-Z's “99 Problems.” (WHICH! America! Please do not think this is original. Because it isn't. This is a carbon copy of someone else's rendition. The show just casually left that part out because it's easier to create a storyline this way.) Do we think doing this rendition was a way to try and entice Adam Levine away from the clutches of his other bromance, Shufflin' Shelton? Intrigue! Mystery! Dudes!
Actually, it was probably just a dig at Christina Aguilera because Tony Lucca and Adam Levine are what we call (in the biz!) Bitter Bettys.
Ms. Aguilera has a problem with the song's anti-feminist nature (didn't she used to say she worked with rappers and hip-hop artists all the time at the beginning of this dog and pony show? Has she actually ever heard any rap that is currently out there today?), so Adam Levine gets all punchy and says that it's a metaphor — because Adam Levine knows the difference between a metaphor and an analogy, America! — but Christina is all "nah man that ain't what Jay is saying," so Adam Levine just gets cranky and takes his shirt off to reveal his true allegiances. Is he trying to sleep with everyone on this show or piss them off? I'm not really sure I can tell the difference.
Next: Christina's Mannwich
In order to provide some sort of pseudo-relevancy to Christina Milian's backstage mugging, she is instructed with the task of giving the finalists each a brand-new Sprint phone! Because shitty service is universally adored and way cooler than money.
Chris Mann's ode de Christina is “The Voice Within,” and I just have to ask the obvious question: Do you guys think they did it? Although I do believe he called her “mom” after his performance, so that's sort of weird and makes me uncomfortable, but like, maybe that's a thing they're into? Or maybe Christina just wants to get in on a Mannwich, but he's not interested, so he desexualizes her by calling her mom?
Am I thinking about this too much?
Onto the next! Heavy-metal hippie and her coach Captain Tinyarms performed “Born to Be Wild” by Steppenwolf. All I can say about this is that our dear figment Mr. Clarence St. Clair really out-did himself with the motorcycles. I'm crying real tears of joy.
Unfortunately, there is so much fluff in this show I could stuff 16 down comforters with it all, so let's keep this brief — we've got to get back to The Christina Aguilera Show, after all!
Tony and Adam performed “Yesterday” by The Beatles because everyone always seems to think they can do justice to that song. Jermaine performed Blake's “God Gave Me You.” We good? Okay good.
NEXT: Chris Saw The Sign
Chris Mann went with the most obvious choice with “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban. Of course, there is another choir! And a sign language interpreter! And then the choir is doing the sign language, too! Christina is crying real human tears, so is Chris. Homegirl has such a ladyboner for Chris Mann — you can just barely see it through the narcissistic commentary guys. Watch it again, you'll see it. He's a real man, America! A real man! So much so that she has to get on stage after his performance because it's The Christina Aguilera Show.
More fluff — this time in hyper-speed! — Blake & Jermaine performed the oddest of odd couple duets (“Soul Man”), and Tony Lucca paid tribute to future soulmate Adam Levine by performing “Harder to Breathe.” Tony, all butterflies and tiddlywinks in his stomach, messes up the lyrics because he was too busy giggling and making eyes at Adam. In the end, Tony thanks all of the judges — not just his own — for their dedication and support during the show, but Christina is too busy texting the producers that she wasn't in enough of the duet performances to notice.
NEXT: The bird revolution will be televised
Finally, to close the show out one last time, Juliet Simms takes on “Freebird” because she is totally free and bird-like, which was made all-the-more evident with the FIERCE cape moment she had when a burst of wind from underneath the stage came up and engulfed her, shooting the cape around her like a billowing cloud of ferocity. It even made Poor Chad Kroeger look awesome. Proud Poppa Cee Lo was a bag full of tears and serious business as he declared that he had no problems, thanks to Juliet. Unlike Tony, who has 99 of them. And Christina.
So we're back tomorrow to find out who wins the whole thing. While I fear Tony Lucca may have it on lock, I hope that the universe sees that Juliet Simms deserves to win this. Only time will tell!
So what do you think? Are we hoping that Justin Bieber and Hall & Oates perform a duet tomorrow, or is that just me? Do we think the show will be super-dragged out, or just regular-type dragged out? Does Christina have the power to turn in an upset for Chris Mann in the name of The Christina Aguilera Show? Sound off below!
Follow Alicia on Twitter: @alicialutes
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Theatrics slapstick and cheer are cinematic qualities you rarely find outside the realm of animation. Disney perfected it with their pantheon of cartoon classics mixing music humor spectacle and light-hearted drama that swept up children while still capturing the imaginations and hearts of their parents. But these days even reinterpretations of fairy tales get the gritty make-over leaving little room for silliness and unfiltered glee. Emerging through that dark cloud is Mirror Mirror a film that achieves every bit of imagination crafted by its two-dimensional predecessors and then some. Under the eye of master visualist Tarsem Singh (The Fall Immortals) Mirror Mirror's heightened realism imbues it with the power to pull off anything — and the movie never skimps on the anything.
Like its animated counterparts Mirror Mirror stays faithful to its source material but twists it just enough to feel unique. When Snow White (Lily Collins) was a little girl her father the King ventured into a nearby dark forest to do battle with an evil creature and was never seen or heard from again. The kingdom was inherited by The Queen (Julia Roberts) Snow's evil stepmother and the fair-skinned beauty lived locked up in the castle until her 18th birthday. Grown up and tired of her wicked parental substitute White sneaks out of the castle to the village for the first time. There she witnesses the economic horrors The Queen has imposed upon the people of her land all to fuel her expensive beautification. Along the way Snow also meets Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) who is suffering from his own money troubles — mainly being robbed by a band of stilt-wearing dwarves. When the Queen catches wind of the secret excursion she casts Snow out of the castle to be murdered by her assistant Brighton (Nathan Lane).
Fairy tales take flack for rejecting the idea of women being capable but even with its flighty presentation and dedication to the old school Disney method Mirror Mirror empowers its Snow White in a genuine way thanks to Collins' snappy charming performance. After being set free by Brighton Snow crosses paths with the thieving dwarves and quickly takes a role on their pilfering team (which she helps turn in to a Robin Hooding business). Tarsem wisely mines a spectrum of personalities out of the seven dwarves instead of simply playing them for one note comedy. Sure there's plenty of slapstick and pun humor (purposefully and wonderfully corny) but each member of the septet stands out as a warm compassionate companion to Snow even in the fantasy world.
Mirror Mirror is richly designed and executed in true Tarsem-fashion with breathtaking costumes (everything from ball gowns to the dwarf expando-stilts to ridiculous pirate ship hats with working canons) whimsical sets and a pitch-perfect score by Disney-mainstay Alan Menken. The world is a storybook and even its monsters look like illustrations rather than photo-real creations. But what makes it all click is the actors. Collins holds her own against the legendary Julia Roberts who relishes in the fun she's having playing someone despicable. She delivers every word with playful bite and her rapport with Lane is off-the-wall fun. Armie Hammer riffs on his own Prince Charming physique as Alcott. The only real misgiving of the film is the undercooked relationship between him and Snow. We know they'll get together but the journey's half the fun and Mirror Mirror serves that portion undercooked.
Children will swoon for Mirror Mirror but there's plenty here for adults — dialogue peppered with sharp wisecracks and a visual style ripped from an elegant tapestry. The movie wears its heart on its sleeve and rarely do we get a picture where both the heart and the sleeve feel truly magical.
SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg understands that to turn what is in essence a series of 10-minute segments into a 90-minute feature it's necessary to keep things very simple. With that he's envisioned a sort of Pee-Wee's Big Adventure for SpongeBob in which the hapless hero sets out on a quest to find the balding King Neptune's treasured crown. We all know it's been stolen by that tiny green megalomaniacal one-eyed sea creature known as Plankton--who sold it and has framed SpongeBob's boss Mr. Krab with the crime so he can be rid of him and rule the world--but the rest of Bikini Bottom doesn't including King Neptune who wants to turn Mr. Krab into an appetizer. Now even though he has just been passed over for the promotion of his dreams SpongeBob still believes his boss is innocent and convinces the king to spare Mr. Krab's life long enough to allow SpongeBob to go retrieve the crown. Along with his best pal Patrick SpongeBob embarks on the treacherous mission battling any number of obstacles in order to save Mr. Krab's life restore order in Bikini Bottom and prove once and for all he can be a real man…wait a grown up…er a big bad sponge? Yeah something like that.
The whole gang is here including standup comic Tom Kenny who provides the high nasal voice of SpongeBob; Bill Fagerbakke (TV's Coach) who voices the dopey but lovable Patrick; and the booming I'm-master-of-the-universe voice of Mr. Lawrence as the evil Plankton. There are also a few celebrity voices thrown in for good measure including Arrested Development's Jeffrey Tambor as the vain and insecure King Neptune; Scarlett Johansson as his kind and patient daughter Mindy (who looks a little like Velma from the Scooby-Doo series); and Alec Baldwin as a malevolent hit man. But the best cameo of all belongs to David Hasselhoff appearing as himself--in Baywatch mode of course. Hasselhoff helps SpongeBob and Patrick who find themselves in the "real" world get back to Bikini Bottom safely and looks like he's having a ball poking a little fun at himself--as well he should.
Hillenburg a former marine science teacher created SpongeBob after he decided he wanted to do a sea cartoon and thought a square sponge wearing shorts who lives in a pineapple house in a world of real sea animals was just the ticket. Sure we get why the kids love it. The cartoon is madcap slapsticky gross-out fun with SpongeBob and Patrick just big ol' kids themselves living in an undersea community where eating Krabby Patties showing your underwear and blowing bubbles are the bomb. It's the parents you gotta wonder about--the ones who say they are only watching it because their kids do but who secretly look forward to SpongeBob SquarePants episodes so they too can laugh their asses off. "It's about keeping your kid-nature in life and not totally becoming a curmudgeon " Hillenburg explains--but it's more than that. SpongeBob's humor is oftentimes aimed completely at the adults following the habits of some stellar predecessors such as the old Looney Tunes shorts and even more recently Ren and Stimpy. Examples: SpongeBob and Patrick laughing manically for five minutes longer than they should; the two of them getting totally blasted after eating too many ice cream sundaes and then waking up the next morning in a puddle of their own sick; and confused side glances at the camera from some scary-looking sea monsters who stop short from eating SpongeBob and Patrick after the two start singing about being real men er well you know what I mean. Funny funny stuff.
She's gone! Kathie Lee Gifford said goodbye today to her 12-year gig (15 years if you count the pre-syndication period) on "Live! With Regis & Kathie Lee" with a highlight reel, a cake and a song from Reeg.
The celebrity testimonials, which have poured in all week on the morning talkfest, continued but for this last episode they were all videotaped rather than in studio. Susan Lucci, Rosie O'Donnell and David Letterman with sidekick Paul Shaffer all said heartfelt sayonaras.
But Gifford was atypically tongue-tied at the climactic moment, when Philbin sang a personalized rendition of "Thanks for the Memories" (with lyrics like, "You've made a lot of money, you've come a long way since you were just a Hee Haw Honey, and met Mr. Football ...") and presented her with a big cake inscribed with the same sentiment.
Oh, and husband Frank Gifford was there, too, as were their kids, Cody and Erin. The ex-football great and caught-red-handed adulterer didn't get much camera attention, though; and, perhaps tellingly, when the final strains of goodbye music played, the kids stood by Kathie Lee's side, while Frank remained at arm's length.
Kathie Lee, who made her Broadway debut last year, plans to forge a singing and acting career. She got it under way Friday with an appearance on "The View."