A Neo-Nazi Metal Musician Was Arrested for Flushing Oranges Down the Toilet in an Attempt to Cause Mayhem in France

A neo-nazi flushed some oranges down a toilet to try and take over Franceabdul-yunir/Flickr

Take a minute to peruse this comprehensive list of Pinky and the Brain episode premises, if you haven’t already today. You will find schemes ranging from “Pinky and the Brain travel to the Hubble Telescope in an attempt to melt the ice caps and flood the Earth,” to “Brain grows an army of giant, animated vegetables to take over the world,” to “The mice become baseball players and lead their team to victory so that Brain can release a special perfume on the pitcher’s mound at the right time to enslave the human race.” They’re all more or less of that ilk, as is the recently revealed plan of black metal icon and neo-Nazi Varg Vikernes, who spent his weekend trying to overthrow France. By flushing oranges down the toilet.

No, you’re not really missing anything. That’s it. That’s the plan. See, the 40-year-old, Norway-born Vikernes — holed up at Paris’ L’Hotel Aisselle — came up with this airtight ploy that flushing oranges down his toilet would disrupt the plumbing, result in some flooding, and unleash mayhem unto the French city and thus result in widespread panic and a governmental overthrow.

I’d repeat that for you, but I fear that writing it twice would actually result in a deterioration of brain matter. As a result of this diabolical scam, Vikernes was apprehended by hotel staff, arrested by French police, and detained for 47 hours, during which time he revealed his brainchild to the authorities. While the city crumbled under the weight of a citrus-clogged toilet, Vikernes would oversee the rise of a proto-fascist black metal dictatorship! All, as Vikernes would declare, “in the name of Odin!”

So… how’s everybody else’s day going?