It used to be crazy that Ashton Kutcher had enough time in his schedule of filming Nikon Coolpix commercials and building up his “be a man and don’t make children have sex with you” campaign to take on the task of replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. But then it was okay and seemed plausible, because we were kind of like, “well what else is he going to do with that goofy smile other than tell that $300,000-an episode earning Angus T. Jones that all the cool people are named after cattle and explain to him that if you put a lime in some seltzer water, it kind of looks like you’re drinking alcohol!?” But now, any remaining questions we may have regarding Ashton’s agreement to appear on the show (you know, like WHY, and whatnot) don’t really matter anymore because it has been announced that his contract is only for one year. And who hasn’t ever found themselves in a situation where they just have to do something shitty for one year?
Anyway, the Wall Street Journal reports that the reason why the contract’s length is so short is because CBS has only licensed the TV show for another year. However, If CBS decides to pick up the show for another season (which would air in 2012 and 2013), Warner Bros. could either extend their contract with Kutcher or end it. The WSJ claims that both CBS and Warner Bros are fingers crossing that the show will go on for two or three more seasons, meaning the show could be on the air for a grand total of eleven or twelve seasons. But that is ridiculous because that is unnecessary, and offensive to Dolly the cloned sheep who stipulated that unnecessary things should only have a lifespan of six years.
Kutcher is reportedly earning $700,00 per episode, which is a prosciutto slice of Charlie Sheen’s $2 million per episode salary, but again: it’s only for a year. After that, Kutcher can go back to filming commercials for a camera that is totally appealing to college freshman, which is an audience that can only afford it if they convince their parents they need a new comforter.