Comedy Central
Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, then you know Justin Bieber finally got roasted. Thank you Comedy Central, we’ve been waiting years for this kid to get taken down a peg or two.
Roast Master Kevin Hart did his job well and started the night off on the right foot – with a dick joke. “He’s got a wax figure at Madame Tussauds in London. I’ve seen it. It’s face down in Usher’s lap. It’s weird.” As expected, the roasters did not hold back – on each other (poor Shaq) – and on the Biebs.
“Martha tonight it’s about another blonde bitch, its about Justin Bieber!”
Accurate #BieberRoast pic.twitter.com/NdlZQLgrPV
— Sophie (@AvonsBoyJustin) March 31, 2015
“Justin Bieber really has it all. Justin, he has a dick and a pussy.”
“Shaq you’re one of the most original rappers, and by that I mean most of your albums are still in their original wrappers.” #BieberRoast
— Bryce Hagman (@BryceHagman24) March 31, 2015
“He’s got a perfume called ‘Girlfriend’. That’s not gangster Justin!”
“you got a perfume called ‘Girlfriend’ THAT AINT GANGSTER JUSTIN” 15 minutes in & I’m already dead #BieberRoast
— Celeste (@SavageDorsey) March 31, 2015
“You might know Ludacris from your mom’s “That’s What I Call Music” CD.”
“Wow, Ludacris and Snoop Dogg are here. If I was 38 I’d be freaking out right now” – @petedavidson #BieberRoast
— HuffPostComedy (@HuffPostComedy) March 31, 2015
“Justin’s fucked more models than bulimia. They’re the only thing he swallows.”
“Please welcome the most successful rapper of 2001 – Ludacris.”
“[Martha Stewart] is so old, if you look closely at a $100 bill you’ll see her photobombing Ben Franklin.”
“Justins fans are called Beliebers because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards.” #BieberRoast
— Justin Bieber News (@JustinSociety) March 31, 2015
“Kevin Hart is going to be on the next season of Game of Thrones. He’s going to be Peter Dinklage’s shadow.”
“Snoop you look like Shaq’s skeleton.”
All these rappers on stage and Martha’s done the most time! Hahahahaha I’m dying #BieberRoast
— Chase Chrisley (@ChrisleyChase) March 31, 2015
“Jeff got a body like a cafeteria lady.”
“Justin got a tatoo of Jesus on his calf. Why you gotta bring Jesus into that mess? He’s already been through enough.”
“You have it all. Except for respect, love, friends, good parents, and a Grammy.” #BieberRoast
— Remington Lee (@HeyItsRemi) March 31, 2015
“Give it up for the ghost of Chris Tucker.”
“Might I suggest pulling out and finishing on some super absorbent Martha Stewart linens.”
“I’ve done a lot of gardening, but you are the dirtiest, used up hoe I’ve ever seen.”
“Paula Deen isn’t here because she refused to sit with this many black people.”
“i bet your pubic hair is 50 shades of grey” #BieberRoast
— guppy♡ (@GRACETBFH) March 31, 2015
“What’s your rap nam? Feminem?”
“What dating site did you two meet on? OKStupid?”
That’s not gangster Justin #Bieberroast pic.twitter.com/KC2AHs7rLd
— THANK YOU JUSTIN (@biebuhhoe) March 31, 2015
“Justin’s life changed when Usher heard one of his songs and liked it, which only goes to prove that Usher aint black.”
“You’re you so pretty, when the inmates saw your mug shot, they swiped right.” #BieberRoast
— Justin Bieber Babes (@belieberbabes) March 31, 2015
“He got a big smile on his mugshot cause he knows what goes on in jail.”
“Congrats on all your success Kevin. I’m sure it’ll last forever.”
“I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy.” – @hannibalburess #BieberRoast
— Comedy (@comedynetwork) March 31, 2015
“I’ve always encouraged people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging with Floyd Mayweather?”
JUSTIN BYBER #BieberRoast
— valentina (@WORLDWlDEJACKS) March 31, 2015
.@PeteDavidson can’t believe how cool the #BieberRoast dais used to be. pic.twitter.com/dlFdKPjG16
— CC:Stand-Up (@ccstandup) March 31, 2015
“When I get to tell people who I got for my 21st birthday, I get to tell them I got my dick kicked in.”
“I love Kevin hart’s career plan. Do everything Martin Lawrence did, only shittier.”
.@realjeffreyross is amazed that @JustinBieber had such an incredible career. #BieberRoast pic.twitter.com/PS0IKbBVCN
— CC:Stand-Up (@ccstandup) March 31, 2015
“I feel like I’ve known you my whole life but that’s because you look like Mr. Potato Head from when I was younger.”
Watch the whole hilarious roast here. What was your favorite joke? Chat with us on Twitter #BieberRoast!
