Beyonce’s Perfume Is No. 1: What Sense Will She Conquer Next?

Credit: Michael Carpenter / WENN

Slowly but surely, Beyonce Knowles is taking over the human brain. The vast majority of the American populace is entranced by her dominating allure, each of us falling victim to her thanks to her stronghold on a growing number of our sensory receptors.

Right out the gate, she reigned supreme in the occular. Obviously, Beyonce is objectively beautiful. Of course, there’s the auditory. Her musical numbers are what made her famous in the first place, as we all know. And now, the olfactory. Yes, Beyonce’s perfume line Heat has been named the No. 1 celebrity fragrance worldwide. Now, she officially has our noses.

So what’s next? A Beyonce cooking show to snag taste? A Beyonce massage parlor for touch? And what about those weird other ones scientists are talking about now — balance and proprioception and humor? Where will it end, Beyonce? When will you be satisfied?!

Follow Michael Arbeiter on Twitter @MichaelArbeiter | Follow on Twitter @hollywood_com

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Staff editor Michael Arbeiter’s natural state of being can best be described as “mild panic attack.” His earliest memories of growing up in Queens, New York, involve nighttime conversations with a voice from his bedroom wall (the jury’s still out on what that was all about) and a love for classic television that spawned from the very first time he was allowed to watch “The Munsters.” Attending college at SUNY Binghamton, a 20-year-old Michael learned two things: that he could center his future on this love for TV and movies, and that dragons never actually existed — he was kind of late in the game on that one.