Yesterday, one source gobbled up a bunch of Power Bars and disposed of the wrappers in their mom’s furnace and went on a quest to make everyone believe Beyoncé was pregnant with Jay-Z‘s child. It made the end of day pretty enjoyable, because we were all left wondering if it would be cuter for Jay-Z to have his daughter or his son sitting next to him at a basketball game. The person responsible for getting out the rumor had a pretty miserable day, though, because they didn’t think to buy a life-size mouse wheel for themselves.
But in an episode of Ellen that will air today, Beyoncé’s mom, Tina, told Ellen that her daughter isn’t pregnant. See below to learn who’s really pregnant.
I know, I know. But slurp up that tear! Beyoncé still could be pregnant, and she’s just being really cautious and waiting until later into her pregnancy to confirm it. That’s what new mom Alicia Keys and not-yet mom Penélope Cruz did both did– their representatives only acknowledged Keys’ fall during a performance onstage during a concert was a big deal and Cruz’s use of a body double while filming the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean was both because they were four months pregnant. So you see? Destiny could still get a new child! Who’s a survivor and isn’t going to give up! Who’s too bootylicious for ya, babe! Who doesn’t think you’re ready for that jelly! YOU SEE WHY YESTERDAY WAS SO BUSY?!