Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s Wedding: How We Picture It

ALTYes, as the entire world has heard, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the road to say “I do.” (Despite how that might make some feel.) And, yes, the entire world is now wondering what the duo’s dream wedding will look like. Unfortunately for us superfans, it’s likely the press-shy couple will be hush-hush about the affair. That doesn’t mean we can’t create the dream Brangelina wedding of our dreams. What will their wedding look like? Here’s how we’ll picture it. 

Angelina’s Wedding Gown

This is an epic moment in Bridal Fashion — wedding dress designers likely haven’t been this excited since Kate Middleton’s Royal moment. But while most brides usually opt for the classic white or off-white gown with lace and silk, designers better be keeping Angie’s fashion sense in mind. If you open any of of the actress’ many, many, many closets, you’d be hard-pressed to find anything brighter than black. (Unless blood counts?) So, for her most special occasion, we imagine she’ll opt for a simple black frock with a high leg slit (like the one she wore to the Oscars this year)… just in case she needs room to throw a kick if Jennifer Aniston decides to pull a Rachel in “The One With Ross’ Wedding.” (Just so long as Pitt doesn’t pull a Ross in “The One With Ross’ Wedding.”) Christian Louboutin should throw in a pair of his infamous spike heels so that Angie’s prepared with a semi-secret weapon. That’s an accessory Mrs. Smith would be proud of.

Three Ring Bearers and Three Flower Girls

This is an easy one for Brangelina: Maddox, 10, Pax, 8, Zahara, 7, Shiloh, and 5 and 3-year-old twins Knox and Vivienne will no doubt appear in the wedding party. Maddox, Pax, and Knox could team up and walk the ring down the aisle. Zahara and Viv can throw the flowers — but little Shiloh may decide to wear a tux and join her brothers. Either way, at least Brangelina don’t have to ask Tom Cruise if little Suri could be the flower girl. She would probably think the aisle was a runway set up just for her to show off her newest pair of red heels.

Billy Bob Thornton gives Angie away

Thornton may be Jolie’s ex-husband, but the two have remained shockingly close. (Blood vials are the new friendship bracelets, guys.) And since the actor is 20 years her senior, Thornton’s role would be age-appropriate. Heck, why don’t we make this a tabloids’ dream and invite Jonny Lee Miller — Angie’s first ex-hubby — to walk her down the aisle with Thornton?

Brad’s Best Man

Pitt’s buddies Johnny Depp and George Clooney will have to fight for this title — and if it comes down to a battle, practical prankster Clooney is guaranteed to win. (Oh, please, let it come down to a prank battle!) Depp can always sing at the reception with his new duet partner Marilyn Manson.

A destination wedding

This detail won’t be simple — the couple owns houses all around the world. Which to choose? But we’ll picture Jolie selecting one of her favorite countries, Cambodia, as the destination. Maybe to celebrate the union, they could adopt baby No. 7?


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