Britney Spears Covers Madonna’s ‘Burning Up’

Do you know what’s really pathetic? Playing ‘Where in the USA is Carmen Sandiego?” and asking your dad to help you. But do you know what’s also really pathetic? That Britney Spears‘s agents or studio or whoever released a track of her singing Madonna‘s Burning Up to get excited for her upcoming Femme Fatale tour. Can you understand how that’s pathetic? It’s not even Britney’s song! It’s a song we’ve been hearing for 28 years! When has something that insignificant ever aroused any excitement, ever? Obviously studio executives are trying to prove that Lady Gaga isn’t the only pop star who can be compared to Madonna, but the difference is that Lady Gaga wasn’t compared to Madonna because she was singing Madonna songs — she earned it by being original and being smart enough to revamp old chord progressions from the 80s. In fact, while Lady Gaga admires Madonna and credits her for inspiring Born This Way, she rejects the notion that her music and Madonna’s music are the same. Britney Spears’s career, on the other hand, is so dead that it’s only hope of continuing is to manually insert itself into all the Madonna comparisons and cover a track used during water aerobics classes at the local senior center.

Also, just so everyone knows, you cannot try and create a comparison by doing exactly what someone else did. The objects being evaluated have to be different if they are going to be sized up against each other. You can’t compare something to itself. JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS.