Every day, while you and I continue to do the things we do, like go to work and look at puppies online so we can know where to get a puppy when we’re actually ready to adopt one (and researching how one would obtain a hedgehog if one is never ready to obtain the aforementioned puppy), Barbra Streisand continues to exist. I know! SO WEIRD. Like truly, she’s still around. Oh, well, I just remembered that she’s been in two of the three those Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller movies, so we all know she’s still around. But those two films were shot SIX YEARS APART, which means what does she spend the rest of her time doing? Probs the usual things, like gardening. Isn’t that what people do when they have nothing else to do — care for things that aren’t even as useful as trees? I guess that’s what she does. But do you know what she’s certainly not doing? SHE’S DEFINITELY NOT APPEARING IN ANYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT OR CARE ABOUT, AND THAT INCLUDES CRUMBS BAKERY AND GLEE! At the pre-Grammy MusiCares thing on Friday night, someone smart asked Streisand if she’d ever consider participating in an episode of Glee, she said “Not if I can help it.”
Once Streisand realized that she’d just cemented her fate as if she’d watched that videotape from The Ring, she backtracked and said, “When asked if I would ever appear on Glee, I should have said ‘you never know.’ It was wrong to say, ‘Not if I can help it.’ What I meant was that I’ve been overwhelmed preparing for my performance at MusiCares, the Grammys, recording a new album, and starting a new movie. So I couldn’t take on any more work, and besides that, I wasn’t asked. I’m so honored that a lead character on Glee is so admiring of my work. In my speech at MusicCares, I thanked them for ‘exposing young people to music they might otherwise not hear today: Lea Michele, Matthew Morrison and Darren Criss…you’re all so gifted.”
Is Barbra Streisand a Republican? Can someone go check for me? Please, one of you. You’re all closer to the thing you can use to check with than I am. I’d be very surprised if she wasn’t a Republican because that tactic she just used, that one right up there, the “apologize, explain, and commend” thing is right out of an O’Reilly hole. First she apologized for saying FUCK NO, IT’S GLEE, then she explained all the other NEW things she’s busy doing in hopes that that our minds will extricate themselves from the FUCK NO, IT’S GLEE that she said and focus on, like, the return of other ‘FUNNY’ things, and then she said how great all the people who act in GLEE are. In other words, she’s the human with the laser pointer and we’re the cats. In other words.
Source: E News
