Celeb Speak: Elton John Tells Billy Joel To Go Back To Rehab

elton john and billy joelLike the incredibly annoying neighbor who acts superior even though her son is a shit who lynches caterpillars, Elton John told a Rolling Stone reporter that he’s disappointed with how Billy Joel has been too drunk to write songs lately. He said, “At the end of the day, he’s coasting. I always say, ‘Billy, can’t you write another song?’ It’s either fear or laziness. It upsets me. Billy’s a conundrum. We’ve had so many canceled tours because of illnesses and various other things, alcoholism. He’s going to hate me for this, but every time he goes to rehab they’ve been light. When I went to rehab, I had to clean the floors. He goes to rehab where they have TVs. I love you Billy, and this is tough love. Billy, you have your demons and you’re not going to get rid of them at rehab light. You’ve got to be serious. People adore you, they love you and respect you. You should be doing better than what you’re doing now.”

Now, I understand Elton’s pissed that Billy’s only gone to easy rehabs, where the sheets are clean and bloody vomit is gone before it has the chance to coagulate. Wouldn’t you be pissed if you and your friend each had Strawberry frosted-flavored doughnuts, but yours was twice as harder to shove down your gullet? Yes, you would be pretty pissed. So in that regard, Elton brings up a fair point in that if Billy’s going to get clean, he needs to go to a place a little bit more stern than where he’s been going. But if Elton’s going to maintain that sobriety will not leave Billy a broken musician, he should turn over the “GO TO REHAB!” endeavor to someone else because he was the one who performed at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding last year for $1 million.

Source: TFL