Charlie Sheen’s Third Webcast Doesn’t Mention His Unemployment

After it was announced that Warner Bros. had terminated Charlie Sheen’s involvement with Two and a Half Men based on the violation of a clause in his contract that said he must obey federal, state and local laws, Charlie released a third episode of Sheen’s Korner on USTREAM. Curiously, he did not mention his Edward Scissorhands costume, or anything related to his new unemployment status and instead, he talked on the phone with Bob Maron, who has something to do with Charlie’s Twitter account. They discussed their new business deal with (for which one at-reply or mention of the service was awarding Sheen six figures), and it became clear that Charlie continues to believe companies should pay him when he uses their product by saying, “I’m smoking a cigarette and drinking something that I won’t reveal, unless they PAY me!” Then he went on a rampage against phones and how they were built by trolls before doing what is his best party trick, and that’s telling Bob that “If you own the home in which you own the trash can, you should never have to empty it ever again.”

Then Charlie talked a little bit about his poetry book, called A Piece of My Mind, that he published himself in 1990. He said it was ahead of its time and that now, in a time when everyone’s looking for more Charlie Sheen, he’s shocked because they could have gotten all the Charlie Sheen they wanted if they had just picked up his book instead of discarding it with their rusted-over dog bowls. Charlie mentioned he wanted to write another book and call it Apocalypse Me: The Jaws of Life, and he wanted to have it on Amazon and available for e-readers because trees give us oxygen and he was contemplating marrying a tree because not one of his marriages worked out. And then a second helicopter flew over his house and it ended. If you don’t believe me and would die of a drug overdose like a loser, check it out below.

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Video streaming by Ustream