Fantasy Casting J.K. Rowling’s Detective Novel


If the truth of the pseudonym “Robert Galbraith” had remained untold, the film future of The Cuckoo’s Calling would be in question. But, now that we know the one and only J.K. Rowling is behind it, a movie version seems pretty much inevitable. Rowling is busy with a recently announced Harry Potter spin-off series based on companion book Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, so we’ll try to do some of the Calling prep work for her. In a perfect world, this would be the cast of the mystery/thriller.

Tom Hardy as “Cormoran Strike”

Private detective and ex-military man Cormoran Strike weighs “16 stone” (224 pounds, to the rest of us) and is compared to a grizzly bear because of “his height, his general hairiness” and “a gently-expanding belly.” Inception star Hardy would have to let himself go more than a little for this role, but we want to see his take on Rowling’s down-on-his-luck tough guy.

Jennifer Lawrence as “Robin Ellacott”

Once she gets the accent down, J-Law is a no-brainer to play Strike’s adventurous and resourceful new assistant: “a pretty girl; tall and curvaceous, with long strawberry blonde hair.” 

Antonia Thomas as “Lula Landry”

Should we see dearly departed supermodel Lula Landry in flashback, how about gorgeous Brit Thomas for the”bronze-skinned, colt-limbed, diamond-cut beauty”?

David Morrissey as “John Bristow”

Rowling describes Landry’s barrister brother Bristow as “whey-faced” and “leporine,” which basically means he looks like a white rabbit. We don’t know about that, but we think The Walking Dead star could pull off the character’s nervous demeanor and flashes of anger.

Bruno Mars as “Guy Somé”

At “nearly a foot shorter than Strike and had perhaps a hundreth of his body fat,” the actor playing in-vogue young fashion designer has to be short in stature. Mars is that, for sure, but a giant talent, musical and otherwise. Weren’t we all pleasantly surprised by his SNL episode?

Natalie Dormer as “Ciara Porter”

Once Dormer gets friendly with a little bleach, the Game of Thrones and Elementary starlet will be well-suited to play Landry’s “baby-blonde” supermodel bestie.

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