Daily Shuffle: Rob Lowe NOT Replacing Charlie Sheen

rob loweRob Lowe WILL NOT WILL NOT WILL NOT replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men because he’s under a “multi-year contract,” says a Parks and Recreation producer. Who made this happen? DID YOU MAKE THIS HAPPEN? Nice job, but it’d be cool if you could get Parks and Rec renewed, too. – THR

When Lindsay Lohan goes to court today, she is not expected to accept a plea deal for her charges of felony grand theft over that stupid, unimportant, not-even-as-interesting-as-the-money-Qaddafi-paid-Beyoncé-to-sing-for-him necklace. Previously, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge, Keith L. Schwartz, told Lindsay that a plea deal would involve jail time. He also told her, though, that if she did not accept the deal and he found her guilty, he would sentence her to jail time. – THR

Here is a list of things we’re supposed to know about Ryan Reynolds‘ new girlfriend, Agnes Fischer: she’s a Pisces, she’s been banned from MTV, and she’s diverse. – People

Charlie Sheen is sorry he called Jon Cryer a troll, but he’s not ashamed of anything. – THR, X17