Yesterday, when we learned that Lindsay Lohan was being charged with assaulting a Betty Ford staff member, we didn’t really think twice about who was in the wrong because we’ve seen cocaine on Lindsay’s shoes before. But there have been a lot of developments this morning about the incident that have started to make us change perspectives, and I would just love to relay them to you so when you go into your boss’s office to ask for a raise later, you can get him to smile just one more time before your fate about moving out of your studio apartment is decided.
First, let’s start with Lindsay’s side of the story. Lindsay told friends and family that the confrontation occurred when she returned to the facility from a hair appointment. The staffer, named Dawn Holland, grabbed Lindsay by the wrist even though she was willing to submit to a breathalyzer test to prove she hadn’t been drinking. But Holland refused to administer one and the shoving continued until Lindsay went inside her sober house and called 911.
Now, is that in your head? That’s Lindsay’s account. Dawn’s account is somewhat different. She told her story to TMZ, and in this video says Lindsay and her two roommates came back to the clinic around 1 AM, violating the facility’s curfew policy. Dawn said Lindsay and her friends “jumped a wall” because they wanted to get back inside without being noticed. However, when a security guard stopped the three of them, Lindsay started cursing and when Dawn asked her to take a breathalyzer test, she refused and shoved Dawn away from her. Then Dawn went inside and called 911. Upon calling for help a second time, Lindsay rushed over to her and ripped the phone out of her hand, which resulted in a severe sprain to her wrist (a rehabilitative brace can be seen in the video).
But that’s not all! It has been discovered that Dawn has been fired from the Betty Ford Clinic for telling TMZ her version of the story and for breaking confidentiality about a patient. Additionally, Dawn’s ex-husband filed a complaint against his wife for an incident where “she got out of bed” and “hit [him].” There was also another incident in 2008 where Dawn’s ex maintains she “lost control” and broke a lot of his personal belongings and attacked him. His petition for a restraining order against her was denied.
Is this the first time Lindsay Lohan has been wronged by someone, other than the baby in the stroller that rolled in front of her Maserati? This is a total mess. This is a mess! There is no end to this. Why is she this way? Why isn’t her mother tearing her hair out at all this? Lindsay’s, not Dawn’s. Shouldn’t Lindsay want to keep her shit together so they let her out on time for good behavior? But hold on: JUMPING A WALL? DAWN, RICO SUAVE DOWN. WHERE WOULD SHE HAVE LEARNED THAT? Where, on the set of a Garry Marshall movie? You are know comparable to the basketball player on the 5th grade team that just scored the championship basket for the other guys.