You know how it feels. Shortly after you realized you were no longer immune to the pop culture zeitgeist, you picked up a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey at your local book store. (Just kidding — you ordered it through Amazon to avoid judgment from Barnes & Noble employees.) And as if your realization that your mother is reading the same book about graphic S&M sex wasn’t enough to scar you for life, the knowing stares from those surrounding you certainly did the trick. I swear, you say through a telepathic stare, I’m only reading to understand all the fuss/for my book club/for a mental break/for work! I’m in between Tolstoy novels! Wait, you’re reading Fifty Shades Darker?! Geez, what kind of deranged person are you?
But! We’re here to help (ourselves)! Hollywood.com has created printable, designed-to-scale book covers you can place over your copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in order to disguise it on the subway, in your favorite café, or in your bedroom. (Because it’s even too embarrassing to read in front of your cat.) So go ahead: Click on the picture above to print out our covers and trick everyone into thinking you’re reading a math textbook, a novel about Dorian Gray with E.L. Fudge, or the Henry James-esque Hearts of Edy Gyffis, which so happens to scramble into Fifty Shades of Grey. (And, to see all your options, click here to see the covers in photo gallery form.) After all, Christian Grey will punish you if you don’t.