Just when Melanie C‘s unexpected UK Top 20 collaboration with Matt Cardle and Mel B’s surprisingly competent piece of Eurodance, “For Once In My Life,” appeared to be restoring at least a bit of pride to the Spice Girls’ much-maligned solo careers, along comes Geri Halliwell with arguably the nadir of the group’s entire back catalogue, “Half Of Me.”
Bizarrely premiered during an Australian NRL football show last month, the song itself is embarrassing enough as the former Ginger Spice clumsily pays tribute to the man who has reignited her faith in love (“you’re better than chocolate, you’re right in the pocket”) over a tinny pop production which sounds like it was recorded on a child’s miniature keyboard.
However the video takes the track to new cringeworthy levels as a scarily smiley Halliwell surrounds herself with a motley crue of extras who appear to have been hauled in straight from the street to perform a sign-language-inspired dance routine.
Indeed, alongside a parade of shirtless men, there’s also a ukulele-playing ‘Man From Del Monte,’ a moody cowboy and most surreally of all, a trio of dancing bear mascots who Halliwell then proceeds to twerk against.
It’s an utterly bewildering attempt to revive a pop career which initially started out brightly with four consecutive UK number ones but entirely fizzled out when third album Passion, could only peak at a dismal No. 41.
Of course, when the likes of Alison Gold can score a US Top 40 hit with a track which makes Rebecca Black’s “Friday” sound like a Grammy-winning masterpiece, the train-wreck pop song/video can sometimes have its short-term benefits.
But while a naïve and innocent 12-year-old can get away with a laughably bad ode to chow mein, someone who’s technically almost old enough to be her grandmother should know better.