You have kids, right? Or one baking on the George Forman grill? Of course you do — everyone does! So once your little bundle of joy arrives, have you thought about what you’re going to do with him or her? I know it’s bad luck to count the chickens that will ruin your social life completely before they’re hatched, but some things you can plan for! Like, you can plan if you’re going to reward them for good grades with money or with CDs or not at all and instead say things like, “you’ve given yourself the reward!” You can also spend this time figuring out how you’re going to teach your little one to be tough — perhaps you can do this by insisting your little girl play on the boys softball team, or insisting she eat her carrots without cutting them so her throat will widen and she can be Bear Gryllis’ even more successful replacement! There really are just a ton of ways to raise a child, and you have to consider what kind of parent you’re going to be. Everyone hopes to be a good one, you know. But even the ones who try and sell their kids at Taco Bell for $500 thought they were doing the right thing!
Anyway, there are tons of magazines you can read to obtain parental advice. But it’s very risky to have those magazines delivered to your house because then your neighbors will look at your doorstep and see what is, essentially, your admission that you have no idea what you’re doing! And then they’ll never accept another one of your baked “apologies for our incontinent dog!” pies because they’ll assume you don’t know how to do other stuff, too! It’s just dangerous to broadcast such low self-confidence. And so how can you avoid screwing your kids up for good WHILE making it look like that you’re the greatest parent of all? It’s SO EASY! It turns out, all you have to do is what Gwyneth Paltrow does! She’s been establishing her greatness in every lifestyle arena for years now! And if you aren’t a subscriber to her e-newsletter, GOOP, you totally should become one because it allows you to get answers to all the questions you’re too embarrassed to ask (like, what do I wear to a potluck dinner?) in the privacy of your own home!
And so if you expectant parents have been having issues with figuring out what religion to raise your child, you are in luck. Gwyneth has in fact JUST announced that she plans to instill in her children the teachings of Judaism. According to Daily Mail, Gwyneth previously praised her parents for raising her as both Christian AND Jewish, and she said “It was such a nice way to grow up.” However, she continued with “I don’t believe in religion. I believe in spirituality. Religion is the cause of all the problems in the world.” So what made Gwyneth choose Judaism for her children? It turns out that since she’s been studying Kabbalah, it appears as though she feels it’s the best option for her family. However, this presents somewhat of a problem because Gwyneth’s mother Blythe was Christian and her father Bruce was Jewish (thereby making Gwyneth Christian, since genealogy experts say the child’s religion is the same as the mother’s religion), And so technically, her children are not likely to considered Jewish by religious authorities.
But who cares! Gwyneth Paltrow does what she wants, which means you can to! Why not dare to be different by serving fruit at your kid’s birthday parties instead of cake?! Are you worried that he or she will get made fun of by his or her friends? Well guess what!! You have control over his or her friends, too!
Source: Daily Mail