Hollywood’s Highs And Lows: June 16, 2010

Today’s Highs

ALTJonah Hex and Harvey Dent Should Discuss Plastic Surgery

I’ve been on the fence when it comes to Jonah Hex. It’s undoubtedly going to be a stupid action film, but I still can’t predict whether it’s going to be an entertaining one. While these clips aren’t a definitive answer, other than confirming that, no, Megan Fox cannot act, it certainly seems to tip the scales in favor of “fun”. Mostly due to the horse with Gatling guns. Some other folks at the site have been predicting a “western revival”, and while I’m still not sold that this is the film to do it, I’ve got my fingers crossed for a renaissance. Mostly because of the scarcity of train robberies these days, and on the off-chance that someone will option the rights to Goodbye Chains.

E3 Trailer Roundup That Is Really Just About Portal

ALTIt’s hard to overstate my satisfaction with the new Portal 2 trailer. Valve’s decision to push the release date back to 2011 was aggravating, but at least this trailer proves that the project is still alive (sorry). The sequel may have promised not to include any cake, but the newly lush and natural environments seem to be a fair trade-off. Not to mention the (inevitable) return of GlaDos, who seems to be holding a bit of a grudge from that time you killed her a bunch. She may still be peeved, I don’t know the last time I was so happy to see someone who was trying to murder me again.

Today’s Lows

It’s A Trap! We Can’t Repel Awesome Of This Magnitude!

ALTFulfilling the dream of the entire internet, Wicked Lasers Inc. (what are they, from Boston?) has developed a laser that looks like a lightsaber and can actually cut through things, all for the reasonable price of $200. It can also instantly set skin on fire and cause cancer, but come on! It’s a lightsaber!

While this is unquestionably awesome, it’s the reaction to this product that is going to be a huge stimulus to the magic-laser-swords industry that I presume exists somewhere. The first company to make a real lightsaber that won’t accidentally explode your cat is going to be rolling in dough. In the mean time, I have to question the sanity of arming thousands of angry Star Wars fans with a weapon that can set things on fire from far away. I get the feeling that George Lucas is going to be sporting some news scars soon.

Sources: io9, CinemaBlend