A ’60 Minutes’ and Vanity Fair poll came to the conclusion that Jennifer Aniston is the most eligible single woman in the world, and forgot to say that the margin of error was +- any of our interest in the poll itself. After winning 29% of the votes, Aniston swiped the title right out of the hands of Halle Berry, Elin Nordegren, Betty White, Lady Gaga, and Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, Elena Kagan. Guess who handled the loss with the least amount of grace.
However, I’m surprised that 29% of the people from somewhere still consider Jennifer Aniston to be an eligible woman, especially since her unsuccessful attempts at staying in a relationship make her more readily classifiable as decidedly IN-eligible and UN-dateable. Consider the men who have helped her weigh the pros and cons of yet another septoplasty: Adam Duritz, Tate Donovan, Brad Pitt, Vince Vaughn, John Mayer, some guy named Josh Hopkins, possibly Gerard Butler, British model Paul Sculfor and maybe Bradley Cooper. It seems like the title of “the most eligible woman in the world” would be better suited for someone who’s proven herself actually capable of dating. Also, the term “eligible” implies the person at hand has just been unlucky in love, but is otherwise meant to be in a relationship — Aniston just doesn’t seem like she is, which means she’s an unwise choice to take out on a date, which means she’s ineligible to take on a date BECAUSE it’s unwise, which means she’s not the most eligible woman in the world.
Join the fight to give Elena what’s hers.