'The Iceman' Cometh? More Like the Pornstache Cometh! — TRAILER (2013/01/16)- Tickets to Movies in Theaters, Broadway Shows, London Theatre & More

The Iceman Trailer When you’re trying to prove yourself to be one tough cookie in the 70s, you have two options: murder people or grow a mustache so thick and unctuous that it could be mistaken for a real, live pornstache. Welcome to The Iceman! And while Zamboni drivers everywhere may mistake this for the story of their fearless leader/creator Frank Zamboni (whose birthday is today, coincidentally!), this is one film where nothing is kept on ice. Unless by “ice” you mean “murder” because in that case, there is a lot of murder.

It’s murder and follicle foibles that make up the majority of The Iceman‘s trailer — featuring the acting (and hair work) of Michael Shannon, Ray Liotta, Winona Ryder, James Franco, and the most committed coiffure of all, Chris Evans. Seriously — look at that man’s luscious locks! (OK, so maybe they’re less-than-luscious. Maybe they’re more closely resembling a rats’ nest. But still!) If there was ever a prize for Method Hair-Growing, Evans would have that s**t on lock. His character looks like the type who would ask ladies to take a ride on his mutton chops. Women probably obliged by the hundreds (hey, this movie takes place in a weird, mixed-up, confusing time in personal hygiene. It was a different time, you guys. A very different time). Captain America, are you in there?

The thriller stars Shannon as real-life hitman Richard Kuklinski, who becomes a mob killer-for-fire in order to support his all-too-oblivious family. Kuklinski’s work in the murdering-people-for-money business was especially well-known: he offed (yes, offed) over 100 men before his capture in 1986. Check out the full trailer, below:

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