DreamWorks via Everett Collection
Something weird is going on with the colleges up in Boston. This week, two respected institutions of higher education, Emerson College and Harvard University, announced that they were partnering up with celebrities for special events. While it’s not unusual for public figures to take an interest in furthering their education, or even for colleges to recruit famous faces for publicity, the choices that Emerson and Harvard made were so unusual, it almost makes us worry that Boston universities may be losing their minds.
As part of their increasingly odd promotional campaign, the team behind Anchorman 2 has struck a deal with the Emerson College School of Communication to rename the school after Ron Burgundy for the day on December 4. It’s the latest in a line of publicity stunts than include a series of commercials for Dodge Durango and an exhibit at the Newseum in Washington DC that chronicles Burgundy’s storied career in the news. As part of the deal with Emerson College, Will Ferrell himself will appear on campus to take part in a press conference where he will regale students and fans with tales about his rise to the top and advice on becoming a great anchor person themselves. He will also introduce an exclusive screening of the sequel.
No matter how entertaining you find Ferrell’s polyester-suit-wearing, carefully coifed alter ego, the weird collaboration got us thinking about some of the classes that Ron Burgundy would teach if he actually did open a School of Communication. We can only imagine it would include such courses as:
–The Care and Cultivation of Your Moustache – How are the people supposed to trust the news your reading if they can’t see your intelligence, sophistication and manliness right there on your face?
–Scotch: An Appreciation – Proper news anchors only drink scotch. Drinking anything else signals that your are a lesser news reader, better suited to puff pieces about animals doing entertaining things.
–Women Can Be Anchormen Too, I Guess – Taught by Veronica Corningstone. Titled by Ron Burgundy.
–Choosing Your Signature Suit – Not everyone is blessed with a last name that’s also a color. This class will teach you to overcome that obstacle and become the sharpest dresser of the 1970s, regardless of what decade it currently is. Only polyester and polyester blends are acceptable.
–Advanced Martial Arts – Less about technique, more about brute force. Also teaches you to improve your observation skills so that you can better spot random objects on the ground to bludgeon your rivals with. A follow-up course is offered, entitled Laying Low For When You Might Have Killed A Guy With a Trident.
But lest Emerson steal the spotlight, Harvard had a celebrity collaboration of their own make the news today. Over the weekend, Kanye West stopped by the Harvard School of Design to give a lecture as part of a series of talks with this design and production company, DONDA. During his speech, West talked about how he believes that “the world can be saved through design” and that “Utopia is actually possible, but we’re led by the least noble, the least dignified, the least tasteful, the dumbest, and the most political.” West also encouraged the students present to continue to hone their craft and to continue to innovate and create, before gifting them with tickets to his concert that night, although he did note that he felt self-conscious showing a roomful of architects his stage designs. By his side was his fiancée Kim Kardashian and DONDA’s creative director, Virgil Abloh, both of whom Instagrammed photos from the event.
Of course, anything that Ron Burgundy can do, West will claim that he can do better, and so, with that in mind, we’ve also come up with a few ideas of what West’s idea of an aesthetically pleasing Utopia might include.
-The only music that will be played on the radio or sold in stores has been released by, produced by, or featuring Kanye West. Any music that deviates from these guidelines need to be submitted for approval by West himself.
-Leather sweatpants will be the customary attire for not only exercise, but formal events as well.
-An amendment will be added to the United States Constitution that clarifies, once and for all, that Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video is the greatest video of all time. Anyone stating otherwise will be forced to watch it repeatedly until they understand its genius.
-Any gathering of people that wishes to call itself a “conference” must first ensure that there is a marble conference table present. Conferences will be considered extra-tasteful if the rugs include cherub imagery.
Interestingly enough, West will make a cameo appearance in Anchorman 2 when it is released on December 20. In the meantime, he is currently on tour promoting his album, Yeezus.
