Kanye West and Kim Kardashian announced that they are having a baby together the only way they’d know how: to the most amount of people and in the least intimate way possible. For Kardashian, 32, it was on Twitter (of course) while West opted to alert the masses during one of his concerts. The 35-year-old performed at Revel Resort’s Ovation Hall in Atlantic City over the holiday weekend, where he announced the news through song. “Now you having my baby,” West sang to his fans about his pregnant reality star girlfriend, whom he started dating back in April 2012.
Pretty catchy, no? While his friend and musical partner Jay-Z already beat him to the rough-around-the-edges-rapper-turned-softie-father punch with his ode to daughter Blue Ivy called “Glory,” that doesn’t mean Kanye can’t turn some of his classics into baby-friendly lullabies. (Heck, there’s a whole industry built around that.)
Check out what we did with some of the Grammy-winner’s classics for his future son or daughter. Who knew “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” could sound so sweet? “That’s My Bitch,” however, well, we decided to leave that one be all together.
“Runaway”: “Let’s have a toast for the diaper bags/Let’s have a toast for the epidurals/Let’s have a toast for the parenting mags/Every one of them that I know.”
“Can’t Tell Me Nothing”: “Let the rubber ducky splash, let him play with his cousin Mason Dash.”
“Ni***s in Paris”: “Cold bottles, hold toddlers, spillin’ apple juice on my sick J’s.”
Even better, some song lyrics don’t have to be changed, just the meanings of the songs. Take for instance…
“Stronger”: “I need you to hurry up now/’cause I can’t wait much longer.”
“Dark Fantasy”: “Don’t make me pull the toys/And fire up the engines/And then they make noise.”
Now we’ll just have to find a way to make Keeping Up With the Kardashians kid-appropriate. Or just, even remotely appropriate in general.
[Photo credit: Jennifer Graylock/INFevents]