Kayte Walsh should be very concerned about her marriage to Kelsey Grammer, and not because she’s his fourth wife. Over the weekend, Grammer got Walsh’s first name tattooed on his right hip (a spot usually reserved for little heart tattoos on starlets). Ostensibly, inking your beloved’s name on your body is an extremely romantic gesture, but often it’s more like a warning sign of impendind relationship doom.
Sure, there are some couples who are still going strong despite sporting an inky ode to their love. However, for every Nick Cannon, who has a giant “Mariah” tattoo on his back, there are ten stars looking into laser removal. Here’s a list of Hollywood’s biggest tattoo cautionary tales. It may be too late for Grammer, but we can still save Kim Kardashian’s butt from being tarnished with a tragic “Kimye” tattoo.
Dating a man whose name is synonymous with cheating was never a good idea, but Kat Von D took things a step further by having a childhood photo of Jesse James emblazoned under her left arm. They ended their engagment for good in September 2011 amid (surprise, surprise) cheating rumors.
Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman
Christina Aguilera’s tattoo tribute to ex Jordan Bratman may have foreshadowed their marital troubles. When she got married in 2005, the Voice coach got the Spanish words “Te Amo Siempre” (I love you forever) and two Hebrew letters for “JB” on her inner elbow. She also had “I am my beloved and my beloved is mine” tattooed in Hebrew on the small of her back, and Bratman got a tattoo of the phrase “I love CA forever.” Now that they’ve split, Aguilera doesn’t have to have “JB” removed from her arm, because she mistakenly used the Hebrew characters for “12” instead of his initials.
It seems Marc Anthony has learned something about having your ladyfriend’s name permanently etched on your body. While the inside of his right wrist used to read “Jennifer” as in J. Lo, in January he had it covered. He turned it into a tattoo of the Statue of Liberty, ostensibly as a tribute to new girlfriend Shannon De Lima. It represents how she “freed” him from his past, but he can declare it symbolizes liberty in general (or his love of Ghostbusters 2) if they every split.
Britney Spears & Kevin Federline
During their relationship Britney and K-Fed got matching tattoos to commemorate their status as the poster children for tackiness. In 2004 they each had a pair of poorly-drawn dice inked on their wrist, with hers in pink and his in blue. It turns out the Hollywood girl wasn’t so lucky — they got divorce in 2006.
Paris Hilton & Nick Carter
According to Paris Hilton, there’s nothing more romantic than putting your partner’s name on your butt. During their seven-month relationship, Hilton had Nick Carter’s name inked on her right butt cheek and he wrote “Paris” on the inside of his wrist. When their relationship came to an end three weeks later, they both had their tattoos removed, and he replaced her name with a skull and the phrase “Old Habits Die Hard.”
One ill-advised tattoo simply wasn’t enough for Tom Arnold and Roseanne Barr. She had “Property of Tom Arnold” written on her upper thigh, and he got four Roseanne-related tattoos during their marriage, inlcuding the word “Rosey” on his butt cheek and a gigantic portrait of her on his chest. He had all signs of their love affair removed after their split and she covered hers with another tattoo.
Even after several tattoo mishaps, Angelina Jolie is still treating her skin like a dry erase board. While dating Timothy Hutton she had an “H” placed on the inside of her left wrist, which she now claims is for her brother James Haven. Next she and husband Jonny Lee Miller got matching Japanese character tattoos. Later she covered the symbol with a Tennessee Williams quote. While married to Billy Bob Thornton, she had his first name tattooed on her left shoulder and another in a “private” place. The spot on her arm now features coordinates for the birthplaces of her children, as well as current fiance Brad Pitt.
The award for most infamous tattoo alteration of all time goes to Johnny Depp. While engaged to Winona Ryder he had “Winona Forever” tattooed on his right shoulder. He explained at the time, “I love Winona. I’m goign to love her forever. Putting her on my arm solidified it. Tattoos are extremely permanent.” Well… not quite. After their breakup he had the “na” removed so his arm now bears a touching tribute to drunkenness: “Wino Forever.”