You pick up the newspaper (or iPad version of the Times because we live in the future now) the day after the Kentucky Derby and read the name of the winner. More often than not, it sounds like something a royally wasted guy in a nightclub might yell to his friends. “Mine That Bird! Thunder Gulch!” he might wail as he trips over his own knock-off Armani loafers. Perhaps, in the cab on the way home, he yelps “Gato Del Sol! Dust Commander!”
But, when you think about it, who’s to say whether those names belong to prize-winning steeds or the latest offspring of Hollywood’s starry-eyed (and sometimes loopy) elite? I mean, we’re all fawning over a baby who goes by Blue Ivy Carter these days. How different could these names be? Not very, it turns out.
In anticipation of Saturday’s most exciting two minutes in sports, we’ve decided to test your skills. Which of the names below are horses and which ones are celebrity babies? (Answers below. You’re going to need them.)
And we’re off!
1. Rainbow Aurora
2. Golden Soul
3. Governor Charlie
4. Bluebell Madonna
5. Indian August
6. Falling Sky
7. Black Onyx
8. Seven Sirius
9. Diva Thin Muffin
10. Charming Kitten
Let’s take a quick break of disbelief before continuing on to the back 10.
11. Buddy Bear
12. Midnight Lucky
13. Alabama Gypsy Rose
16. Tu Morrow
17. Code West
18. Palace Malice
19. Moxie Crimefighter
20. Normandy Invasion
Feeling a little confused?
It’s okay. I made this list and I can’t even remember who’s who.
Or maybe, you think you’ve got it all sorted out and you’re wagging your head at the rest of us mouth-breathing simpletons. Alright, smartypants, compare your responses to the answers below and see how you fared.
1. Rainbow Aurora — CELEB KID (daughter of Holly Madison)
2. Golden Soul — HORSE
3. Governor Charlie — HORSE
4. Bluebell Madonna — CELEB KID (daughter of Spice Girl Geri Haliwell)
5. Indian August – CELEB KID (daughter of Casey Affleck)
6. Falling Sky — HORSE
7. Black Onyx – HORSE
8. Seven Sirius — CELEB KID (son of Erykah Badu and Andre 3000)
9. Diva Thin Muffin — CELEB KID (daughter of Frank Zappa)
10. Charming Kitten — HORSE
11. Buddy Bear — CELEB KID (son of celeb chef Jamie Oliver)
12. Midnight Lucky — HORSE
13. Alabama Gypsy Rose — CELEB KID (daughter of Drea De Matteo)
14. Free — CELEB KID (daughter of Barbara Hershey and David Carradine)
15. Orb — HORSE
16. Tu Morrow — CELEB KID (daughter of actor Rob Morrow)
17. Code West — HORSE (even if it sounds like Kanye West’s future offspring)
18. Palace Malice — HORSE
19. Moxie Crimefighter — CELEB KID (daughter of comedian Penn Jillete, from Penn and Teller)
20. Normandy Invasion — HORSE
Bonus Points if you knew that Mine That Bird, Thunder Gulch, Gato Del Sol, and Dust Commander were derby winners from 2009, 1995, 1982, And 1970.
How’d you do?
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler