Kirstie Alley’s MASH Board: John Travolta, Patrick Swayze, Who Else?

Kirstie Alley, John Travolta

Forbidden love — the most all-consuming variety in the array of humanly preoccupations. In recent days, film and television star Kirstie Alley has come clean about the prohibited affections that plagued her throughout her Hollywood career. Alley told Barbara Walters during an interview on 20/20 that she “fell hard for John Travolta” during their time shooting Look Who’s Talking in 1989; Alley called her costar “the greatest love of [her] life” and proclaimed her struggle with desires to run away with and marry him (despite the fact that she was married at the time to Parker Stevenson). Following this admission, Alley spoke with Us Weekly about similar feelings for Patrick Swayze that she experienced during the filming of the 1985 Civil War miniseries North and South. Both Alley and Swayze were married during the time of these allegedly mutual feelings.

It’s no easy feat dealing with a case of verbotene liebe. There are plenty of mature ways to handle difficult circumstances like these: counseling, artwork, opening your mind to a healthy relationship elsewhere. But none of these hold a candle to the greatest outlet for romantic turmoil — MASH. The middle school matchmaking game that is guaranteed to land you with your soul mate. Considering Alley’s proclivity for falling for costars, we’ve devised a game of MASH that’ll help the Cheers and Dancing with the Stars vet through the trying times of love unspoken (well, now it’s pretty spoken, but she waited a good while).

M. A. S. H.


John Travolta

Patrick Swayze

Ted Danson

Woody Allen

Scott Bakula


Bar manager

Stay-at-home mom for talking baby

Competitive dancer

Owner of lingerie company



(This one is always just filler)



New York


Los Angeles

Civil War-era America

Sometimes, revisiting the simpler days of junior high is the best way imaginable to confront a complex problem. Thank you, MASH, for making heart-wrenching love seem a little less like an actual thing, and more like something just there to pass the time during fourth period math.

[Photo Credit: Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage]


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