Kool-Aid Man’s ‘Big’ Makeover: That’s It? Oh Yeah

Credit: KRAFT

Oh no. Someone was paid a giant jug o’ money to give the Kool-Aid Man a makeover, but we’re pretty sure we’re just looking at the same old talking juice receptacle (who, by the way, still retains his rudest wall-busting behaviors). 

According to Ad Week, the new Kool-Aid man is a kinder, gentler sugary drink-filled personality. He works out, he’s got a more highly-developed personality, he knows a few big words, he’s got Facebook, and, most importantly, he rivals Spring Breakers’ Alien when it comes to his rainbow selection of pants. (Look at all his sh******t.)

Credit: Marvel

The  new Kool-Aid man is CG animation instead of a man in a suit. We also find him working out like an old timey boxer, selecting his classic red shade from a closet full of every color Kool-Aid (which he refers to as his “pants”), hanging out in a picturesque park while serving his signature red drink, and speaking like a trusty father character from an inocuous sitcom. On his Facebook profile, a photo of a phantom Kool-Aid hand chillin’ on a beach holds a sticky note that says “Oh yeah!” — thus assuring us we haven’t heard the last of our favorite catchphrase. But we’re generally looking at a kinder, gentler, less pushy-like-a-crazed-drug-dealer Kool-Aid man. 

This could be the work of a genius ad man or someone’s sheer realization that it’s no longer the ’90s and that moms (you know, the ones buying the sugary stuff) aren’t looking to pick up the latest tasty shade of jug-man pants because some raspy-sounding mascot burst through a brick wall and shouted at her until she ran all the way to the store. What’s more, is that in the ’70s and ’80s, Kool-Aid Man was often hanging out in the park or playing roller hockey instead of intimidating small children in his “Wacky Factory.” Definitely worth a big-budget overhaul.

Congratulations, juice-like-beverage purveyors! You’ve realized it’s no longer 1993.  Oh yeah.

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