Lisa Nicole Carson opens up about bipolar disorder battle

Actress Lisa Nicole Carson has opened up about her struggle with bipolar disorder, revealing she had to take a break from Hollywood to deal with the mental illness.
The former Ally McBeal star was diagnosed with the condition before the start of the show, after suffering her first psychotic breakdown in 1997. She experienced several more episodes over the next seven years and admits the disorder really played with her emotions.
“When you lose your mind it’s as traumatic as it sounds,” she tells People magazine. “It’s not anything you can imagine happening to you.”
“(The diagnosis) didn’t make any sense to me, at all. I had never heard of it. I was in denial and would not take my medicine… Sometimes it can be beautiful and sometimes it can be horrifying.”
In 2000, Lisa suffered a headline-grabbing breakdown and subsequently spent time in a psychiatric ward. The following year, producers behind the show declined to renew her contract.
“I remember glass breaking, yelling, screaming and terror, sheer terror (during the breakdown),” she recalls. “The cast was very concerned. They put together a video for me, wishing me well. I busted my butt (after the ordeal) and worked hard for a year. And then in 2001, I got the call, ‘We’re not renewing your contract.’ I cried for a week.”
Lisa decided to step away from Hollywood to focus on her recovery and she hasn’t experienced a breakdown since 2004.
“(The last breakdown) was the most terrified I have ever been,” she adds. “It was the closest everything came to collapsing for me. That’s what marked the beginning of the end of the disease for me. I decided that whatever was going on in my life, had to take second place. I had to take my medication and fight this with everything I am. I’ve been stable and haven’t had a breakdown in 10 years.”
Last year (14), the 46 year old made her return to acting and she is offering up hope to anyone battling the disorder.
“Just being at a place where I am healthy, excited about life and auditioning is a joy,” she says. “I feel very blessed. It’s a risk for me to be open. I never wanted to breathe a world about what happened to me. But I’ve had a change of heart. It’s rare for someone who has something as severe as I; I’ve had to come out the other side, but I’d like to let people know that you can. You can get to the other side.”