May Mag Madness: We’ve Got Your Monthly Magazines… Covered

Taylor Swift for 'Wonderland'
Taylor Swift for 'Wonderland'
Wonderland Magazine

Why 'Wonderland' Magazine?: To remind John Mayer that her body is a wonderland that he missed out on.

What She Hoped This Would Say: Eyes are the windows to the soul

What Actually Comes Across: Look directly into my eyes and you will be trapped inside my heart foreverrrrrrrrrrr! Do not resist, do not look away I JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU.

Adele for 'Elle'
Adele for 'Elle'
Elle Magazine

What She's Giving Us: A reminder that she's still the HBIC.

Most Obvious Comment: That's one hell of an advertisement for bump-its.

But Why is She On a Magazine Right Now?: Because everyone loves her. You love her. I love her. We all love Adele, so let's just celebrate that love all the time.

Justin Bieber for 'Teen Vogue'
Justin Bieber for 'Teen Vogue'
Teen Vogue

What His Eyes Say: "I just want to love you, if you Beliebe."

What He's Thinking: Worst Cover Ever — You put the word 'teen' right over my sweet, sweet pompadour.

The Real Question Here: But what would Anne Frank think?

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Julianne Moore for 'T Magazine'
Julianne Moore for 'T Magazine'
T Magazine

Our First Reaction: Look! A modern-day, strung out take on the witches of 'Macbeth.'

Is It a Bad Idea?: Listen, people already believe gingers don't have souls.

None Of That Matters, Though: Because that nail color is nude perfection.

Christina Hendricks for 'Flare'
Christina Hendricks for 'Flare'

Why This Sucks: Because it's so not fair that she can pull off that color yellow so flawlessly.

Why This Rules: It's inherent: Christina Hendricks.

What Don Draper Would Say: "I'm an idiot for not nabbing Joan away from Roger first."

Emma Watson for 'GQ'
Emma Watson for 'GQ'
British GQ

What She's Thinking: "Hermoine's dead."

What The Photographer Was Thinking: "Hermoine's dead."

What The Internet is Thinking: OMG.

Also: RIP Hermoine.

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Ashley Tisdale for 'Maxim'
Ashley Tisdale for 'Maxim'

Why: Relevancy! Relevancy! She screams for relevancy!

But Seriously: Because everyone makes career mistakes.

That's Not A Good Enough Reason, Though: Reinvention is a tricky beast — especially for Disney girls. Plus, relevancy means never having to wear a shirt.

Carey Mulligan for 'Vogue'
Carey Mulligan for 'Vogue'

Why She's Wearing That Hat: Because metallic fabric is way more socially acceptable than tin foil.

And What About That Wrist Jewelry?: Sometimes bracelets just aren't handy enough.

Our Initial Reaction: That Carey Mulligan always looks so wonderful and uncomfortable at the same time. Always. Why is that?

Kirsten Dunst for 'Bullett'
Kirsten Dunst for 'Bullett'

What Is This, I Don't Even: Seriously, though, Kirsten, what are we supposed to say about this? What do you have to say for yourself?

What She's Thinking: "Every beer in Brooklyn will be free for me after this!"

What The Photographer Was Thinking: "Are you bored? I'm bored. Let's grease up her hair, dye it gray, and put a mirror on her belly and call it an artistic statement about the bizarre. Self-reflection at your own hand or whatever. The future of fashion is not giving a s**t. Now let's get some lunch."