Miley, Miley, Miley. Oh, Miley Cyrus, what are we going to do with you? How do you solve a problem like Miley? She’s always just…bein’ Miley—and her existence is like a badge of curious, outrageous armor these days. So really, trying to “solve” her is not worth your time: young adults change all the time! The young woman is growing up; deciding who she is in this world! It’s a hard thing to do, especially in the spotlight after years of being the perennial Disney Princess and the apple of daddy’s achy-breaky eye. The only thing those folks didn’t account for is that when you’re a Miley, you’re a Miley all the way—from your first cigarette, to your last dying day!
With the recent influx of Outrageous Miley Behaviors (OMBs) and the end of 2012 on the horizon, Miley is no doubt preparing herself for the future. For a time beyond our understanding. Perhaps this means that Miley Cyrus is not just a human at all. Perhaps Miley Cyrus is…a TIME LORD. Wise beyond her years (and our own)! And we all know what Time Lords need: companionship! Enter: Miley’s newest friend, the blow-up doll. Doctor who indeed! I wonder if she named her Rose.
…Or! Perhaps Miley’s not a Time Lord, but rather regressing to a former childhood state. Confused? Let me explain. Perhaps this doll isn’t a doll at all, but rather a makeshift Flat Stanley. Everybody knows Flat Stanley, right? Of course you do! He’s the 1964 children’s book character named Stanley Lambchop (written by Jeff Brown), who is flattened by a bulletin board in his sleep only to be recreated by children across America. Once paper-born, Stanley is then sent through the mail to be photographed in special places all over the world. Adventures! Perhaps Miley didn’t have a pen and paper handy, but was right next to a store of the, um, Adult variety and chose the next best thing: a blow-up doll. Oh, Stanley!
Regardless of why Miley has this blow-up doll (carpool lane usage in Los Angeles sure does come at a premium these days), there’s photographic (and partially-NSFW) evidence of their escapades below, if you don’t believe us. But remember: naked plastic bodyparts ahead!
What do you think of Miley’s latest kooky deed? Think our hypothesis are correct? Sound off in the comments!
[Photo Credit: Twitter]
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