Who would have guessed when MTV launched 31 years ago that the ‘M’ would eventually come to stand for ‘motherhood’? But it’s clear that the former music network is now catering to its reality stars and their offspring with the arrival of Jersey Shore star Snooki‘s son and the departure of the beloved first cast of their hit series Teen Mom.
On Saturday, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi and her fiancé Jionni LaValle (who met, like 70% of the population, on a reality show) welcomed their first child, a son named Lorenzo Dominic. In the age of the Kardashians and the varying degrees of Housewives, little Lorenzo will hardly be the first child whose existence was not only a product of reality television mating, but whose first moments were documented in season premieres and on the cover of magazines.
But there may be no more definitive proof of this trend than MTV’s wildly popular televised cautionary tale Teen Mom, which continues to document the lives of teenage mothers and their children who appeared on the equally popular, yet infinitely more depressing, 16 and Pregnant. On Tuesday night, MTV will air the final episode of the first cast of Teen Mom (which includes Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell, Farrah Abraham, and Amber Portwood) after three successful seasons.
There were plenty of lessons to be learned from Teen Mom (lesson 1: Don’t wind up on Teen Mom, kids) for young viewers, but perhaps they are even more relevant for Snooki now. After all, only a select few parents can say they’ve become pregnant and raised their children on MTV. Here’s what Snooki can take away from the gals of Teen Mom before she considers the inevitable spinoff Snooki & JWOWW & Lorenzo.
– Stay out of trouble with the law from here on out: Amber has learned that one the hard way. Repeatedly.
– Don’t let anyone named Butch crash with you: Granted, you’ve already lived with the likes of Ronnie and Sammi, an unimaginably difficult feat unto itself, but trust Catelynn and Tyler on that one.
– Make sure your kid is as cute as Bentley: I mean come on, that kid.
– Watch out for Dr. Drew at MTV gatherings: He will have something to say to you. Seek out wherever Dan Savage is hanging out instead. And for the love of all that is good, actually listen to him.
– Stop writing “books” and don’t even think about recording a song: Actually, that one goes for all of you. You’ll not only traumatize your kids, but the nation as a whole.
What should Snooki take away from the cast of Teen Mom? Well, other than maybe not subjecting her child to MTV. Share in the comments section below.
[Photo credit: WENN.com]